50 first dates... when will that happen?

feel so wonderful today... went to watch 50 first dates... i must agree with the critics that the show is quite dumb but i find it very meaningful... it's about this girl, Lucy, who has short-term memory due to nasty car accident on her father's birthday, played my drew berrymore... adam sandler played henry who fell in love with her at first sight... thus, he finds different ways and method to record their meetings on previous days they have met before... however, lucy chooses to break up with him for fear of messing up his dreams and ambitions... in the end, they got married after some hilarious happenings that occured... one of the best shows i have watched... it reminds me how difficult it is to maintain some form of freshness and passion in a marriage in reality... i feel for henry who has to wrangle with rejection... his patience is indeed admirable... this show also reminds me of marriages nowadays and how hard it is to maintain a relationship built on materialistic foundation but one of innocence and uniqueness... go ahead and watch it~!!

however, the journey to reach the destination of the movie theatre is fraught with much difficulties and tribulations... i wanted to catch the 305pm show and therefore has to reach there with great haste... however, the bus 961 has decided to forsake me in my moment of need... it drove past the bus stop merrily despite my frantic wavings... i was damn pissed... then, i decide to take the bus 170 where i have to change a train at kranji, however, i slept like a baby on the bus ride and missed my stop.... i opened my sleepy eyes to find myself on the way to malaysia... i woke up with a start and immediately ask the bus uncle for directions to get to kranji mrt station... luckily, i got there in one piece (good frame of mind)... haha... just my luck... nevertheless, i was rewarded with a fabulous moive at 425pm...

i'm real worried about the infrastructurs of singapore... another mrt construction site had collapsed today... horrors of all horrors... when will buildings start standing and stop falling suddenly?? hopefully, it's the final one... it's quite disappointing... singapore has never met with such flak before...

anyway, today's quite a nice day... just think that the previous entries are quite bitchy on my part... haha...

currently, listening to craig david's you don't miss your water till the well runs dry... like the introduction of this song~!!

like the river through the mountains, i'm sandwiched

i shall start off on a positive note because of something my friend says today. she said, "as usual, your blog if full of complains, like u in real life..." yar, something like that, so i shall inject positive connotations ny hook or by crook... went jogging with my aunty together, feel very relaxed, as though a heavy stone has been lifted... hmm... must try to increase my distannce, hopefully from my usual 2.4 to 3.6, the gradualist approach, haha, sounds like history... therefore, i'm feeling very jubilant now... hee~!

actually, my day started off badly, as usual... i wonder, why do some people can't get the hint? maybe i'm too sensitive... i can sense alot of things and usually, they are right... some, however, lack this basic feel of things... feel that, i'm being taken for granted for my niceness... split personality setting into place again... the ability to be someone i'm not has never left me spiritually... i wonder... hiaz...

heck care that person... not worth mentioning... she has bad breath and a total lack of feminity towards cleanliness... i hate that~!!

anyway, gonna end positively... i have this afinity with one of my best friends today, hwee min, met her like more than 5 times, cos i think she misses me too much, kept getting in my way... haha...

hope tmr is a better day...

now playing 8th world wonder by kimberly locke
waiting for britney spears' everytime

gareth gates rocks~!

dazed

i'm in a very bad mood today, maybe bad is not the word, i'm too tired to think of any similar words... i'm really in a strange mood today, have to keep fighting to not say the wrong things to people... this also means that the moment i open my big mouth, i have this indescrible urge to start scolding or critising people... it's a miracle i managed to get through the day without offending anyone... can't really think of any reason... hmm... thanks to yoke hing for keeping my sanity when i chated with her during the national education talk today...

hmm... today's talk is not bad at all, compared to all the other talks i have attended, this one is the best, at least i'm partially listening to the speaker instead of switching off totally... the speaker is minister of environment, lim swee seng... after he has spoken, i realised the most important thing or rather characteristic most politicians have, charisma... with this quality, one can charm their way through almost everything... that's so wonderful... haha...

just finished writing the letter my dear vice-principal mrs tan wanted us to write... it's for ponning school on friday... hopefully, she satisfied with it and will get off my back... i mean, she has better things to do with her life...??

i hate PE lesson today, i'm really irritated by it... come on, if people wanna play games, can't they play properly?? why make everyone miserable?? i shall run next time... can shed more fats... haha... once again, i marvel at my ability to transform into another personality... i wonder if that's called split personality?? anyway... went to orchard with my twin sis after 2 minutes of deliberation... didn't wanna go initially... i'm glad that i went... feel better after that... anyway, my dear sis caused me to have this great fall in the morning... i slipped on piece of paper she has left on the floor for her project in my hurry... i'm not kidding when i flew into the air and landed on the left side of my left thigh... i couldn't move for a moment, i was so stunned... now, it hurts... hmm... don't laugh~!!

my mum bought this totally delicious dinner, fish-pieced hor fun and fish-pieced rough mee fen... i really like that restaurant and have a sumptuous dinner, feeling really full now... she must have spent quite a bit after the pizza treat to my extended family last night too... hmm... must be nicer to her... that does not mean i'm not nice to her now... haha...

i totally love britney spear's new song, everytime... must listen to it... it's damn nice~!!

a is for artistically myopic

pon school today... haha... thought i would get things done... but the only thing i did all day was my econs tuition homework, some essay, took the tutor's advice, but feel that something's not right with the essay...

anyway, read some blogs today and came across this guy called alex, someone from nj who thinks that his head is bigger than the school, i'm really disturbed by what he had say... who does he think he is?? firstly, he thinks that he's the best in nj, or i phrase in a different way... the school doesn't deserve him... he says that njcians are a piece of mould, moulded together, so tight that you cannot differentiate one from the other... i'm afraid of breaking the sad news to him... he's part of the mould already, not that he is an njcian but the way he is acting...

most njcians like to complain that the school suxs literally... well dear alex, he has done his lion's share of it... most probably the most vocal one in condemning the school... his favourite subject is literature by the way, and from the way he is acting in lecture, he seems like an expert in the subject, maybe even better than Shakespeare... sorry to put your name side by side with alex... i think that if someone cannot even show some kind of basic respect to a teacher, it shows very much of that person... most probably, he doesn't think that the teacher deserves his respect, i suggest to him that he can rule the world with that mentality...

come to think of it, he probably thinks that all njcians are confined in a little box to do just one thing... study... he has such a myopic view of the world... he just believes in elitist education, where only the students in top schools like rj (his dream school) can succeed in life... i think he has succeeded... in being the biggest jerk... if he's so self-centred to think that nj is too minute for his head, he can pack his bags and leave the school, seek an education somewhere... wait a minute... will he do it? no~!! he has no guts... to him, studying in nj is not his own choice... however, if he's firm enough, he will never have to step his foot into nj...

i believe the thing to do in life when you do not get what you want... make the best out of it if you try your best to change the situation but in vain... that's the pragmatic approach... however, if alex thinks that nj suxs... he can run for the council or any student body to try to change the situation instead of cowering among the student population and complain and look down on everbody else... in one sentence: he has no guts...

i'm wondering why am i even bothering to mention him... cause he's the biggest sucker in the world and someone has to put him down... i'm not the person but i just wanna put some justice in his words... i may not know how to write the poetry he writes or use the bombastic vocabulary he has... but as long as i know english and is able to type, i will not allow someone like him to dennounce the school name or the students because if he has any observation skills, not all the students and teachers are like that... it's him with the problem...

anyway, GARETH GATES ROCKS~!

whatever

just chanced upon a blog by my friend's friend... anyway, this friend of mine has been avoiding me for quite a long time... he just refuses to answer the little smses i sent him... initially, thought he had terminated his line, then i read his friend's friend blog and realised that his phone is tip-top working order... how stupid can i be?? thought that the history behind us was enough to keep in contact and remain friends... i thought well of him even though he had hurt me "unintentionally" many times... what the heck?? he doesn't even care... why should i?? why am i still hung up over him?? shit me... friends, why can't he care at least about that??

whatever... today is just not my day... didn't talk much... didn't eat much... hate myself... feel depressed...

i feel like debating this topic: This House Believes That crying is a sign of weakness.

hmm... so, what do i think?? does anybody care?? sometimes, i marvel at my ability to present a front that is my usual self while i'm feeling totally messed-up internally, what is wrong with me?? finally, i've learnt to trust, think that people actually care about me... however, it seems like i'm wrong... why am i so afraid to trust?? i don't want to be hurt, just want to be understood...

the above is just my warbled thoughts... what's wrong with me...

listening to Too Soon To Say Goodbye by Gareth Gates. he rocks, by the way.

parents~!!

i was so freaking tired after CCA today, coupled with the fact that i slept late last night... thus, the only thing i can think of doing when i get home is to watch the damn tv... so, i just slumped down on the sofa to watch the tv... then, my father started to scream, and i mean scream that i should bathe, whatever shit, and that my mom would scold me(she's not even home), that we should help him, why should he be "suffering" while we are enjoying?? by the way, he was cooking after work...

the above scene is a common one, the exchange of words, he with himself, is also another common one...

my parents always complain that we do not help them with the housework, nag, nag, nag... i was like, what's their damn problem?? i do fold their damn clothes, sweep the damn floor every weekend or when i'm home, change the damn bedsheets, do whatever damn thing they tell us... why is it never not enough?? if they want me to help them 24/7, to sweep, mop, clean, iron, whatever, everything that a maid does, i'm totally willing, if they are willing to support me for the rest of my life, i will stop studying immediately to help them clean the damn house...

sometimes, i don't understand why are they so vengeful, they just don't like the fact that they are slogging through the housework while i'm sitting comfortably in the study room, under the harsh glare of light, doing my homework till late into the night... wow~!! i totally enjoy it...

i don't understand, they constantly say that they are under stress... u mean, the stress they have is lesser than mine?? they are supposedly older, thus, they should have more experience in handling stress than me... therefore, they have the rights to watch the tv to destress while i don't... by the way, i'm not allowed to watch the damn tv anymore, due to the above incident...

they say that i'm selfish, am i?? they can be tired, i cannot be, i'm suppose to have superhuman strength...

they claim that i don't lift a finger... do i claim credit for what i do??

why can't they understand me... is that so difficult to seek?? just some form of basic understanding...

why do i have stress?? because of them... why can't they just be less selfish and ask me about me, take me for who i am?? why do they impose their ideas upon me?? are they right??

they are just selfish beings.... don't wanna think of them as that.... just can't help it... i just want to be loved...

don't ever cry for them!!

GARETH GATES IS SOUFULLY ROMANTIC~!!

the day we find love

today is quite a mild day, comparatively to the many moods i always feel in school... suppression... trapped... so, today is quite a nice day... anyway, the title is reflective of the 911 song i'm listening to... always a sucker for ballads, esp. pop...

this morning, the lit paper 1 teacher scolded us for not handing in assignments on time... haha... we probably deserve it... however, people do ask her in a nice way to postpone the assignment... hiaz... teachers...

got back my history today~!! Got a D~!! hmm... am i satisfied?? just say that i feel i can do better... overall, my common test grades are:
econs: F (unless he's kind-hearted enough to add 1 mark so i will get O)
lit: O (what does this say?? STUDY~!!)
history: D (can do better)
Maths: B (must get A next time)

hmm... talking about my maths... now, we are studying statistics... i'm not good at this chapter, thus, the feeling of panic always threaten to overwhelm my very fragile heart... haha... but, seriously, i'm starting to worry... still remember the good old times, where my maths results was mediocre among the rest in my secondary classmates... i never had to worry because someone better will always be there to meet the expectations of the teacher... however, now, it's different... i don't relish the thought of people expecting me to do well always... why can't someone fall sometimes?? i work hard to get my results (erm, in maths only)... haha... sometimes, when people ask in jest "why is your maths so good?" i always reply them that the key to "success" is to work hard... they will then proceed to look at me with disbelief... the truth is out there... i want everyone to do well together~!! i don't enjoy being the only odd one out... sometimes, my maths teacher will pourposely laugh at me when i don't understand or don't really wanna listen to my questions... is that what i want?? sometimes, it's quite a torture, however, i've learnt to block out some of these hostilities towards her... anyway, she just wanna help...

hiaz... there's CCA tomorrow... really dreading it... it's because i don't know how to play the damn song~!! some people may wonder why is that not a motivation to go for practice?? i don't really know either... let's analyse it in this way... sometimes, you know you can do it, but one is just too lazy... the lesson learnt: DON'T BE LAZY!! sometimes, i wonder why have i turned out this way?? i'm usually motivated... is it because of the people around me, or?? however, i think it boils down to myself... hey dear, must work harder~!!

i hate common tests or any kind of assessment even though it's necessary... it sort of builds a temple around someone, protecting that someone so that one finds it hard to determine the true feelings when the results are distributed... it prevents two person from becoming close and be true friends unless one can overlook that fact... i believe that common tests are reallt a test of friendship... luckily, i have very, very good friends who have overlooked that problem... i remember in secondary school, i used to thing that even my friends are competing with me.... that will always happen, however, they are sincerely true in my achievements, it's just my own oversight who thinks that they are competing with me...

hmm... this entry is full of remising about the past... really miss the good old days where there things are more true...

yeah~!! nj soccer and basketball team has went into the next round~!! i want to go and support them... however, i have an ulterior motive... i hope to take the opportunity to meet my sec school friends... hopefully, soccer is in jj, then can meet a certain someone... ha"ha...

ponning" school on friday~!! there's some council elect speeches... whatever... shall stay at home at study SAT.... so sianz... so long, till next time...

GARETH GATES ROCKS~!!