overwhelmed!!

hey hey... haha... i'm super overwhelmed today!! firstly, i passed my econs!! ok, they moderated it so that i can get a D... but, without moderation, i still passed!! haha!! i'm super relieved... when i was doing the paper, i was thinking that i would passed... yeah... haha, jo was shocked by my remarks... i got a 6/20 for my DRQ... so, i was saying "how can they give me 6??" haha... jo was like "what did u say?" haha... funny!! i'm so glad!! yeah!! first time, i passed econs!!

history was rather disappointing... ms ng gave me 58 for her paper, which i studied hard and soul for it!! hiaz, but it's alright... my source-based sucks, which serves me rite cos i didn't study for it... haha... she projected that i will get at least a B... hmm, i must try to get an A... i must lah, i must not disappoint her and myself... hiaz... i think mark lo's mad, he gave me 62, it's like, out of the blue... haha... it's nice though... i must try to get A!!

haha... it's a nice day though... me, ailin, jo, xiuz and biquan went to lido for lunch... ate long john's... hee!! quite nice....

zhao xiu: we love u mah... haha!!

just a last note... the prelims are not As, dun fret, just study hard and i believe we can do well together!!

"1st" day of sch...

how should i say this?? haha, ms chan gave out the maths paper 2 first... i got a D for that... kind of expected it... haha.... hiaz, life's like that... however, when she gave out paper 1, i didn't dare to look at it at first... i thought that since my paper 2 was badly done, paper 1 will be not fantastic... when i ventured a peek, i was stunned... seriously... i got 80!! haha... i told ms chan that i was stunned!! i am... haha!! i'm glad that my hard work paid off... hiaz, for paper 2, it was a sad case... i know where i went wrong... that's the stupid thing... hiaz, i must try to do equally well... it's achievable... hee!!

hiaz, i failed by a little for GP compre... got 23.5/50... hiaz, mrs tan said i've improved for a paper like this... i must consult her more often... it's a serious problem... GP is like the main link for everything... i can't afford to fail... hiaz, it's such a downer... luckily, i did not feel particularly down, because i took the results after maths... haha... compre suxs man... haha... hiaz...

i'm trying to be calm and composed in meeting all kinds of people... i must not get angry or sad, just not a hint of any feelings... in that way, i will walk around with a protective barrier... thus, i will not get hurt... too bad, i'm that sensitive... can i succeed?? it's working so far... hiaz, i just realised that whatever u do to people, people will do it to u... it's like what's happening to others will befall u eventually... it's called retribution... what i did to others is now happening to me... so, i must protect myself... silly?? yes... hiaz...

i'm praying that the rest of the results are alright... haiz... must be alright... hee!!

dodgeball

the five Ds to playing dodgeball - dodge, duck, dip, something and dodge... haha... forget... it's like life isn't it? people like to run away from things, pretending that nothing has happened, so that it's easier to move on... but, is it? personally, i don't think so, but that's what people do anyway... hiaz, i guess, it's always better to think that nothing has gone on.... i like to confront things, but, i'm never the aggressor... guess that i lack the guts... so, in a nutshell, what am i gonna do? well, what can i do?? pretend? it's not difficult... but then, when the cut is so deep, like my aunt's, pretending is not easy... nevertheless, i will try... sometimes, people like to shrug it off with a whatever... am i like that? well, i like to think not, but i am, have never managed to get over the bad habit... so, i'm gonna practise the 5 Ds of dodgeball... i've always done that...

anyway, enough said. hiaz, i almost couldn't wake up and wanted to skip the whole thing altogether... haha, i've been sleeping late and warm for the past 5 days or so... hiaz, gonna miss it, must sleep early tonight!! haha!! hiaz, the course was quite interesting and engaging... the instructor was funny, not to mention, quite cute, he reminded me of a guy called shawn in sch... luckily, it was not boring, otherwise, i would have fallen asleep... haha... the makeup course was quite interesting... vainpot mah... haha... it was alright... didn't know there's so much stuff to do before putting the make-up on... wow, must protect my otherwise "holed" skin... hee!!

guess that my classmates are enjoying the class bbq now... i appreciate those who are caljoing me into going... sorry, i need some peace and quiet... something's bothering me... hope u have a nice time!! haha!!

went to causeway point to watch dodgeball... it's funny and real silly... made me laugh... although, there's no one to share with, it was nice to laugh... haha... hiaz, my dear twin sis has been going on about her projects, to fren's hse and all that, gosh, i miss her, despite her wearing my clothes with my permission... it's so boring at home... now, that my mum is working, nobody to talk crap with me... hiaz... life's like that, never perfect... haha...

hope my aunty's better, lucky gal, got mc, but never would i want to be hurt like that!!

tomorrow's getting back results, hopefully, it's not as worse as i imagine...

seriously pissed.

is it my fault that u feel deprived?? is it my fault that u have problems?? is it my fault that u can't find other alternatives?? i hate selfish people... everything is about themselves... i must be the one to help.... why can't they understand that i need my peace and quiet?? well, i totally understand now... i've been so totally stupid... i should not have bare my feelings so easily... what do i get in the end?? a backlash... wow, i feel so totally disgusted... u know what, whatever, just whatever... it's really not worth it, learn from the expert, don't, don't i mean, don't ever invest ur feelings in anything so easily... what the heck... i'm like that, alright?? i've been always like that... i've given out warnings... i'm just like that... do i change? i tried... and the thing is, it's been unappreciated... whatever, just whatever...

i've been selfish, i give very little in terms of feelings... but the thing is. it probably doesn't matter. we are brought up differently... out parents have different rules... u just don't understand... did u try? everything is about ur opinions and everything... i accepted it, u know why, that's what frens are for?? whatever, it doesn't matter... frenships, it's just a mockery... i've tested and tried everything... i hate it when i'm proven right... whatever...

it's just a piss-off session for me. not meant to offend.

collateral

i woke up as usual, preparing for a mundane day ahead... i swept the floor, hang out the laundry, wash my pink bum bag, some new clothes... i was feeling ver accomplished!! then i watched collateral... hmm... tom cruise died in the end... i couldn't really feel the excitement, most prob due to the confinement of the TV... nevertheless, i quite enjoy the show, it revolves around a cab... kind of new and refreshing from the usual cat-and-mouse action movies...

hmm... i ate maggie mee for lunch at about 1 plus... with egg!! haven eaten egg for a long time... haha... it's not bad... hee!! then, i settled down to watch the next movie, the bourne supremacy... not long after, just right after the galfren of jason was killed and he was framed for an assassin job, the phone rang... it was my maternal grandma(ah mah)... she was talking in an excited voice... apparently, my aunt has fallen down while at her workplace... she wants me to accompany her to see my aunt at the hospital (NUH)... hiaz, there goes my pleasant day at home...

well, i took the fastest bath in my entire life... in 10 mins, i managed to wash my hair too!! haha... then, i went to meet my ah mah and took a cab there... at the hospital, i waited for the longest wait of my life... i think it was 2 hours later before my aunt was wheeled in to see the doc...

ohmigod... the wound was so freaking deep... i saw my aunt wincing and i could not help but wince with her... eeks... it was eeks... i really pity her... there were also bruises on her arms where she fell... so poor thing... soon she went to stitch her wounds up... by the time she came out, it was already 5 plus... with the cab waiting and everytime, we reached home at abt 7... hiaz, she vomitted on the cab... she's also not very nice... i asked her to help my ah mah to strap the seat belt, she just concentrated on chatting on the phone... so bad... says she has a headache... whateva, so selfish... then, before she vomitted, she said, oh, i feel very bad, i feel very difficult... actually, i also hate taking the taxis, it's so smelly and never fails to give me a headache... *shudders*

haha... what a waste... i didn't get to go jogging... 2 days... i feel fat!! hiaz, it was raining yesterday... i feel kinda sad... haha... nevermind, maybe i can go tomorrow... i must try to watch the bourne supremacy to the end!!

hiaz, hafta go back to sch tomorrow, am dreading it... i enjoy the few days i have!! hiaz, all good things must end one day, i guess... there's a class bbq tomorrow, not going... made my plans early before... sorry guys...

hiaz, dun like sch...

brother bear

apparently i can insert an enrty, but i can't read my blog... kind of funny... hiaz... been reading yoke's blog... since she doesn't have a tagboard, shall type my msg to her here... hey dear, doesn't know what to say doesn't equals to nothing to say, it just means that sometimes people need their peace and quiet... frens will understand ur need for a moment to urself, there's no constant need to yak, yar?? haha...

hiaz, i've just watch brother bear with my cousin... my aunt and uncle went to watch mama mia and left my cousin in my care... kids are cute for a short while... haha... it's quite tiring... finally, she's sleeping now, so i can do my own stuff... brother bear is not bad, i like red indian stuff... but then, i didn't like the ending... the human chooses to remain as a bear... i really don't like the ending... haven't watch cartoons for a long time... haha...

i guess, post-exams is not exactly fun cos i have the lingering feeling that the 'A's are just round the corner... there' no real peace... stupid... haha... just take it as it is...

swimming...

today's a very tired day... went swimming with pei shan at my aunt's house... then, we went shopping at j8... never felt so liberated and so at ease... we talk crap, silly, all sorts of things... yar, she bought me stickers, full of heart shapes... yar, i know they represent ur love... hee!! thanks dear!! we had much fun!! must meet soon!! hope u did not fall asleep during yoga!! haha!!

hmm, my mum didn't cook dinner today... don't know whether it's a blessing or a bad thing... the stuff she cooks is nice but it's not nice if she repeats it frequently... haha... anyway, there's only me and my mum at home now... my dad is out with sec sch classmates, my sis is at a fren's hse doing project... my young sis is watching mama mia!! talking abt mama mia, i wanna watch!! i hope i can find someone to accompany me!! it sounds nice and not that ex!!

hiaz, there's really nothing to do... my mum will absolutely scream at me if i keep going out!! the paradox it, liberated yet chained at home... haha... i don't wanna go back to sch... it's so boring!! i can't wait for the 'A's to be over... really...

ok, just heard this song on the radio, it's very realistic... here goes...

avril lavigne - losing grip

Are you aware of what
You make me feel, baby
Right now I feel invisible to you
Like I'm not real
Didn't you feel me lock my arms around you
Why'd you turn away
Here's what I have to say

I was left to cry there
Waiting outside there
Grinning with a lost stare
That's when I decided

Chorus
Why should I care
Cause you weren't there
When I was scaed
I was so alone
You need to listen I'm startin to trip
I'm losing my grip
And I'm in this thing alone

Am I just some chick
You placed beside you
To take somebody's place
When you turn around
Can you recognize my face
You used to love me
You used to hug me
But that wasn't the case everything wasn't ok

I was left to cry there
Waiting outside there
Grinning with a lost stare
That's when I decided...

Chorus

Crying out loud I'm crying out loud
Crying out loud I'm crying out loud
Open your eyes
Open up wide

Chorus

the terminal

i was late as usual, while meeting jo, yoke, yanrong, xiuz and bi quan... haha... i'm quite glad that all of us turned up with the exception of jan... it's ok, join us next time!! haha... we went suntec for this porridge buffet... quite cheap, it's only $8.80... not bad, quite worth it... haha... nevertheless, one by one of us went off, bi quan went orchard, yoke went library, faith oso went out and xiuz went off to meet her frens to plan her fren bday... haha... not bad, we had such a fill!!

hmm... so there's jo and me left... we went walk walk around suntec city... haha... daniel yun's dress abit long for us... haha... too short... then we were bored and went to watch the terminal... hee!! not a bad show.... quite funny and warm-hearted... hmm... tom hanks' accent is quite funny and real... he mastered it quite well!! wow, if there's only such a nice guy in the world who will do such nice things for a gal... well, it's the movies... everything's make-believe... quite a nice and fun day overall!!

going swimming tmr... with peishan... so nice... can exercise the whole day!!

hmm, my dad's scolding my younger sis now... don't know what she's done... but parents are selfish sometimes, they don't bother to understand us and think that we owe them... i don't think parents should differentiate everything in monetary terms.... they think we should not bother them because they are tired... well, we are not?? haha... i'm past caring everything about parents... everything we do doesn't seem enough, there's really no point... whatever...

hiaz... life's like that... sianz rite...

here's to unconventionality

have u ever wondered what's it's like to do something completely out of the blue?? have u ever wondered how people will react to it?? have u ever thought about totally not caring how others will react to it?? or have u been living in the popular crowd for too long to do the unconventional thing?? haha... welcome to my world... this is not meant to target at anyone...

i don't know why have i always do things against my own principles... is it coupled by the need to please others?? i don't think so... i guess it's just doing things for the sake of doing it... i'm an individualistic... is that a good thing?? it has it's pros and cons... one, people see u as someone capable of doing anything independently... two, people think u r strong... that's not very good... haha... is it nice to keep saying "i'm ok with anything..."? 80% of the time, i'm ok with it... but then, for the rest of the 20%, it's like what the hell am i doing thing against my own wishes?? ok, why the sudden outburst?? erm, not really an outburst, just an observation that's been on my chest for a very long time... i don't do unconventional things on purpose... what's the point of being different for the sake of being different?? it shows... i hate people like these... i just want to be able to be accepted for having my own way of thinking... i have this fren, who said i have my own way of thinking... i've never thought of that until she mentioned it... i guess, that's why i like to hide many things... haha...

so the moral of everything... i'm so gonna do something very different soon.... why must i compromise my thinking to suit the general populace... that's not me... yeah!!

pei shan wrote a poem about me!! it rhymes... gonna out it out after i ask her for permission... pei shan dear, i would like to write something abt u... but i lack the poetry talent... haha... gonna try something later... we're going swimming!! yeah!! can't wait to meet up with u!!

going to suntec with jo, faith, xiuz, jan and hopefully yoke... gonna convince her by tonight!! i can succeed!!

i'm not really looking forward to collecting the results... who is anyway?? haha... it will bring out lots of stuff again... not looking forward to it... period.

okie! here's to pei shan:
just a short distance away
so near, yet so far
why is it so hard to meet?

conflicting schedules
nightmare planning
why don't we get to meet?

don't fret
the time will come
soon, yet so far

i love u
my ever ready rock!!

ok, it suxs, but hope u get my meaning!! luv ya lots!!

good

just had kfc for lunch!! it feels like the hols, lazing around, doing absloutely nothing at all!! hee!! what a wonderful life i have... gonna go running later!! yeah!!

i was so bored during the whole morning and now... don't gasp!! i went to do my econs tuition homework... i'm bored mah... haha... gonna study lit tonight... hee!!

life's pretty smooth right now... nothing's happening... my mum has to go back for a sudden meeting... hopefully, there's no earth-shattering news....

haha... really, nothing much, gonna watch 13 going 30 soon!! cya!!

life's good

hey hey!! i'm back!! i'm so glad!! there's just lit paper 8 left... there's more than ample time to study... soon, it'll all be over!! i can create havoc!! yeah!! just can't wait... good luck for hist 3 and geog people... it'll be over soon!! don't think they will read this anyway... they are busy studying...

hmm... was looking at some old pictures of mine in sec school and prom... boy, it brings back good and bad memories... it just makes me yearn for freedom more... haha...

hiaz... was just thinking about a lot of things... can't really remember now... it seems there's nothing worth remembering now... haha... exams... who wants to remember them?? anyway, life's sorta good... i don't feel that tired... i feel rested and relaxed... hope that the tiredness doesn't come back after the exams... that's the paradox of it... haha...

britney spears just got married... thought i would not hear the day they walked down the aisle... the newspaper gave them 3 months... that's pretty generous... haha... apparently, avril lavigne and christina aguilera wants to get married too... michelle branch's already married... i wonder what kind of role models these people are?? there's no crime in getting married, since sex comes with it... by divorcing so soon, they are not giving marriage any respect... well, since i'm at it, who gives two-hoots about marriage now?? haha... that's the sad thing... another paradox of the civilised society...

hmm... been planning how to spend my weekend and the whole of next week... give a clue... going out everyday!! haha... just heard a real nice chinese duet cd on advertisment... going to buy it... there's this song by lee hom and someone which is in it... just luv that song!!

yeah!! i'm just so happy!! haha...

maths' a muddle

hiaz... econs papers 1 & 2 tomorrow... i hope i will pass econs this time... the real reason i'm typing my blog because i'm bogged down by a sense of helplessness... what else?? maths... hiaz... i'm disappointed in myself... is it because of the lack of preparation?? i don't think so... i just don't know why... i don't even know how i can do... don't really wanna think abt it, but it's been lingering on my mind.... maths is the only subject that i have 100% confidence in... why do the teachers want to dashed my confidence in this only subject i can do resonably well?? alright, the paper's alright, it's just... aargh!! i dunno... whatever... i'll just take what comes... and pray for the best in the "A"s...

i really can't wait for the prelims to be over so i can start to study in my own pace and time... it's not that i want to study, but the prelims are just shit.... don't know whether it's a good guage or not... hiaz... we'll see...

i hate mergers... it makes the situation in the house so tense... damn the gvot... it's them who wanted to introduce the competition... it's them who created more jobs for more people... it's damn who caused the intense competition between the two corporations... it's them who caused them to suffer losses... it's still them who will cause many to lose their jobs... life's so unpredictable... why do so much?? maybe i'm being unfair... but, isn't it a cause for concern?? hiaz... shit lar...

so, ending here... my mom's gonna slaughter me if i dun study soon...

mergers!!

ok, i have a lit paper tmr, what am i doing here?? dun ask, cos, i oso dunno... haha... i dunno, for lit, i'm sorta giving it up... just do my best and hope i dun fail!! had a pounding headache during the hist paper today... i wonder how i managed to do the paper... hopefully, mark lo is not that strict and thinks what i wrote makes sense!! never crap so much before...

there's the news of mediacorp and sph merging... in the long run, it's a good thing, minimising the losses of the company... but then, in the short run, variable factors like labour is gonna suffer... hope my parents' jobs are safe... luckily, we have grown up... yar...

hmm... realise that my blogskin is getting boring... gonna change it soon... after the prelims... can't wait for it to be over... hopefully, can catch a movie tmr... then, back to studying for maths... i like studying for maths... not much memorising work!! i like maths lar...

realise tha my entry is kind of boring... whatever, can't be bothered... write more after the prelims...

people out there, dun stress!! it'll be over soon!!

bank is cool!!

just swept the floor today... haha... i really hate sweeping the floor... hmm... went to the bank in the morning to do some investment stuff... wow, the person or rather guy who served us is quite cute... he must have earned alota commission from us as my mum, aunts, grandmother investment some stuff with him... chated with him for a while, me and my sis... we found out that he studied in ntu, in the business faculty... specialising in finance... haha... i was just thinking how nice it is to work in the bank... my aunt and uncle told us that smu is a good school to study business, better than nus and ntu... hmm... shall consider there then...

my uncle treated us to siam kitchen for lunch... it was quite nice... haha... must go there again...

hiaz, i'm so behind my revision!! what to do?? i'm such a loser... hiaz, i'll have no choice but to study real hard during the exams... hmm... so sucky...

i must have more discipline!! hiaz...

so long, studying history, then it's off to jogging... yeah~!!

nothing much...

i went on a pen-buying spree... haha... now, i have four new pens!! cool!! hmm... tuition's nice, as usual. really enjoy my time there...

nothing much as usual, just that i'm dying... not studying as much as i have to... haha, heck, just gonna study and see how it goes... i used to think that the hols are great... now, i hate them... it's just a hideous reminder of studying... i prefer exams before the hols, at least u will be studying... whatever...

hiaz, nothing much, just real bored... haha... give a nice song then...

CHORUS

Outrageous
When I move my body
Outrageous
When I'm at a party
Outrageous
In my sexy jeans
Outrageous
When I'm on the scene
Outrageous
Mydrive
Outrageous
My shoppin' spree
Outrageous
We on a world tour
Outrageous
Let's be it, girl
Outrageous

Sexy as I wanna be
Got these fellas chasin' me
It's 'bout time I hit the streets
All my girls still feelin' me

B girl ain't lost the beat
Jumped over drama and I landed on my feet
Gotta keep goin'
No stoppin' me
And if you don't like it, then
La la la la la la la

Media, over here
Comin' through like a world premiere
Trench coat and my underwear
Let's go with this freak show

CHORUS
I'm about to bring the heat
Lockin' down the industry
All dressed up and glamorous
Red carpet and cameras

Take trips around the globe
Tints on my Jeeps so nobody knows
So hot, gotcha coming out ya clothes
I'm about to give ya the
La la la la la la la

Media, over here
Comin' through like a world premiere
Trench coat and my underwear
Let's go with this freak show

CHORUS

I just wanna be happy
In a place where love is free
Can you take me there
Somebody, ooh
And when you mention my name
Make sure you know the truth, yeah
Until I vow to keep it forever

CHORUS (X2)

don't u think it's just wonderful to see them together? 

my com's alright... for now...

hmm... nowadays, whenever i go online, i don't see anyone... they are normal, i'm not... haha... i don't feel like disappointing ms chua.... hiaz... hopefully, i can finish studying... hmm... anyway, my com's repaired, don't ask how though.... hee...

hmm... went back for lit3 lec today... mr whitby supposed to have lessons with us today... he has forgotten all about it!! don't know whether i can make it on wednesday... there's tuition...

went back with zhao xiu today... the poor gal... i hope she doesn't stress herself too much... must take lots of rest mah... hmm... she kept asking me to study... i do lar, maybe just not enough... let's work hard together and not be stress~!! we can...

i wanna thank my parents for giving me the greatest gift of all... learning the piano... i can't do without my piano... i really love it... everything can go away, but not the music and piano... it's my relaxing "machine"... including reading... and running.... haha...

i'm taking everything with a pinch of salt right now... don't know what to think of certain things... take things slow i guess... hmm... back to study now...

something's wrong...

Hmm... I shall start off with my horoscope reading this month... here goes...
Naturally you'd like to know who and what u're dealing with before u make any commitments. This is esp the case after the recent disillusioning experiences. But facts either elusive or unreliable. Taking chances isn't usually your style. Once u do, however, u realize that between ur in intuition and simply accepting each day's experiences, u're making splendid progress. Keep an open mind. Only after late sept's spectacular developments will u know just how extensive changes could be.

Haha, if only the above is true... anyway, it's take from the sept copy of lime...

Anyway, xiuz, bi quan, jo, sam & I had a "bitching" session with ms ng? I like ms ng, she can imitate mr lo real well... haha... I really admire her for changing her stance so quickly and firmly... yesterday, while having remedial with her, some students visited her... she was all laughs and fun while chatting with them... soon after they leave, she immediately becomes strict and professional... how cool is that? haha... she's one teacher whom I want to emulate...

Hiaz, think that I've been bothering people with my constant refrain of I haven't started studying yet... well, I just want to have some sort of assurance... stupid girl... gonna mug hard during the hols, I know I keep saying that, but... haha... yar, hopefully I can finish studying, esp for lit and hist...

I?m so glad, sch's over... I guess, I'm wrong to trust, as in foolish to invest so much feelings into a friendship that I know will not mount into anything else... what's the point in feeling so much, when in the end, I know it's not gonna last... blame it on my possessive nature, that's something I can't change, so the best thing is to erase all feelings I have... it's not that difficult, I'm used to it already... I know, it's just my own thinking, but I'm like that... there's only abt 3 months left... Hmm... it will pass quickly, I don't wanna care about any feelings for the ppl in nj, maybe for a few then...

Ok, here goes this song, intuition, haha... wish me luck...

Jewel - intuition

I'm just a simple girl
In a high tech digital world
I really try to understand
All the powers that rule this land
They say Miss J's butt is boss
Kate Moss can't find a job
In a world of post modern fad
What was good now is bad

It's not hard to understand
Just follow this simple plan

(chorus)
Follow your heart
Your intuition
It will lead you in the right direction
Let go of your mind
Your Intuition
It's easy to find
Just follow your heart baby

You look at me
but you're not quite sure
Am I it or could you get more?
You learn cool from magazines
You learn love from Charlie Sheen

If you want me let me know
I promise I won't say no

[CHORUS REPEAT]

You got something that you want me to sell
Sell your sin. Just cash in.
You got something that you want me to tell
You'll love me. Wait and see.

If you want me
Don't play games games>
I promise
it won't be in vain
Uh-uh-uh

[CHORUS]

HAPPY TEACHERS' DAY!!

today's teachers' day... wanna wish all the teachers out there HAPPY TEACHERS' DAY!! yesterday was so wonderful... saw many of my ex-classmates and teachers... the teachers look very tired... there's no sense of spirit that was so there when we were there... hiaz... the new principal's fault... talked to many of the teachers... they were so nice and heart-warming... they said that stress is part and parcel of life... that's true... hiaz... i'm gonna get the motivation to mug hard...

my friends were just commenting whether they would return to nj... haha, i'm like, no way, man.... come to think of it, if the class goes back... i would... but the chances of it, hmm... quite low... haha... i miss the teachers though, mrs tan, ms chan... shall think about this then... hee~!!

i haven't started studying yet... that's the thing that's been hanging at the back of my mind all the time... i know, snide remarks will pour in, like yeah right? u just want to pretend... hiaz, whatever, i'm getting sick of all these already... let people think what they want to think... i'm worried, what to do, mug real hard during the hols, esp, abstain from the computer as long as possible... i just wanna do well... why is that so difficult?? rhetorical question...

hmm... going for tuition later, what's new?? will enjoy it though...