job less

was supposed to start on the survey job... i was filled with enthusiasm and was very hyper in starting the survey... hmm, i really can't blame the general public for being dismissive, because i'm like that... so, what made me accept the job in the 1st place? well, i'm easily impressed by the employers... so, i earn abt 3 bucks rite now... for one hour at imm, i got zilch... so, yeah, i'm gonna quit.... soon, i think... signed up at recruit agency, so, hopefully, i will hear good news soon... hmm, there's this beer promoter job, so, should be quite alright... oh, luckily, i get to tuition my cousins, so got abt $300 per month, still waiting~!! aargh~!!

so glad to have yoke with me~!! we must be optimistic~!! we can~!!!!

waves....

i guess everyone has heard abt the waves that caused mass destruction to parts of asia... tsunami waves.... how coincidental... that was the name of my hc orientation programme... yeah... looking at the super big picture (there's a purpose for the size? to evoke sympathy? there's no need...), i was overcome with a sense of sadness... thousands of lives just puffed out in that instant of a natural disaster... 3 storeys high!! can u imagine... the clips on the news were equally horrifying... the power of media... i hope that all the affected countries are able to cope with the after-effects effectively... hiaz... during the christmas period for this to happen is really unfortunate....

to some uplifting news... for me at least... yoke and i went to this tuition agency and got signed on~!! at least this is a confirmation... hopefully, there are kids who think they can't make it and need tuition~!! ok, kind of bad right?? haha, who ask the s'pore parents to be paranoid... oh, yeah, i'm supposed to teach chinese... haha.... i hope i don't fail the kids... hee~!! yeah, yoke and i bring each other luck... hee~!!!

going to try another job an wednesday... hopefully, that will be successful... kind of suxs... didn't know that finding jobs are so irritating.... hiaz...

going to teach piano tonight... hiaz... boring... yeah, i'm finding not much meaning in life now, which is super boring... the paradox of it all...

something is making me happy though... haha....

jobless

have been going around s'pore these few days to find a job with yoke... i hate those kind like, yeah, i will call u back kind of responses... it's irritating... then, we signed up for this charity promoter job which turns out to be unreliable when the office doesn't even open on time.... hiaz, i really want a job... hopefulyl, the tuition job we are looking for on monday turns out fine and settled~!!!

hmm, thanks to all the frens who have sent me xmas cards... merry xmas to u guys too~!!

bbq yesterday was fun... with family, it's usual~!! haha... bought new tops too~!! with sales everywhere... shopping is fun~!! haha, so long... wish us luck in finding a job~!!!

national treasure

hey, i'm back... this time, doing nothing... as usual... hmm, went out with hwee min, hui qi and yu sui on monday... it's yu sui's bday... haha, happy bday~!! went to catch the movie, national treasure... it's a damn damn good movie~! intellectual and exciting... hmm, this kind of guys are definitely rare... haha... went to play table-tennis after that... can't wait to play again~!!

hmm, have been going to teach paino these few days... just realised that the principal took about 50% of the amt the students pay... part towards the community centres and to the principal... hiaz, so, didn't make much for the relief teaching... hmm, at least there's some income... sad though... hmm, she provide the students... hiaz... can lar... teaching is not bad.... oh, and MOE rejected my application... can't blame them, failed physics mah... haha, teaching... MOE is not the only one... heard of tuition centres?? haha... ok, a disgruntled rejected person....

talked to yoke just now... realised that i miss her... haha, shall meet up soon....

that's all... been organising a family bbq on fri... it's not easy... not gonna try next time...

hols in KL~!!

i'm back from my trip in KL~!! i've done much shopping~!! visited theme parks~!! it was a real fun trip... hmm... now, it's back to reality... super sianz... here goes, the ongoings of my trip...

day 1: took a bus from lavender at 8 a.m. where i woke up at 530 a.m... had only abt 3 hrs sleep the day before... hee~! was watching this korean drama called summer scent... this show is quite stupid... another love story... crying and all that... once again... i'm always catching the last few episodes... haha... anyway, we stopped at yong peng for a pee break... guess who i saw?? LAYZ~!! i was so so surprised~!! haha, apparently, she's also going to sunway lagoon... hee~!! it was a real treat... haha, then, we embarked on the journey to sunway again... we stayed at this prymid hotel... while i was checking in, i saw LAYZ again~!! haha, dear, fate brought us together... hee~! next, we went to eat this an pang tou fu for lunch... apparently, it is quite famous, but, i never heard of it... haha... i'm such a bore... then, we went shopping at the nearby mall... bought an esprit top at a discount of 70%... not bad for a 1st buy... hee~! anyway, we ate maggi mee for dinner because we had such a late lunch... quite a day for arrival... seeing LAYZ... hee!

day 2: LAYZ & i kept meeting each other... for breakfast at the hotel~!! it seems like we were following each other... the breakfast was quite good, had a good fill... next, we went to check out the sunway theme park... i played almost all the rides except for the water rides, there was no time... hmm, i sat on this ride that threw us opposite... and, got a throbbing headache that refused to go away... quite useless... hmm, went to eat at this laksa restaurant for lunch... the laksa was damn good~!!! haha... food always... hmm, went to the water park after that... went for suntanning... now, i'm a healthy brown~!! yeah~!! saw LAYZ all the time at the theme park`! hee~! took a pic too~!! must send me~!! hee~! ate pizza for dinner... yes, food again... hee~!! went for a midnight show... it was damn cheap compared to singapore... 9RM only... haha, we watched "the world of thieves"... it was in cantonese... luckily, there was subtitles... otherwise, i would surely be hopelessly lost... yeah~! only went to bed at 2 a.m... hee~!!

day 3: i was dead tired when i woke up... as usual, went for the buffet breakfast... next, we check-out then took a can to KL... the taxi-driver was damn shit... he was supposed to drive us to the hotel... but, he stopped me near the hotel, causing me a panic.... i didn't know where i was... luckily, there were kind souls who directed me to the hotel... hmm, we went to chinatown for a walk after checking in at ancasa hotel, which my aunt kept on pronouncing as ansaca... haha... there were so many fake branded stuff... had a fun time browsing at all the things... the ang mohs are real bargainers... they love all those stuff... quite funny, looking at the buying and selling going on... business there must be quite difficult to conduct, with all the same stuff repeated at many shops... went to KLCC for shopping after that... ate A & W for dinner... i love their waffles~!! went to chinatown in the night again to buy some things for my aunty and cousins and myself... cheap~!! hee~!!

day 4: went to times square for the theme park... it's an indoor theme park cum shopping centre... i learnt to play the bumper cars there... i love it~!! yeah, i know, learning to play the bumper cars at this age?? haha... went shopping too.... yeah, i know... haha... my legs were real tired.... times square is quite a distance from my hotel, abt 10-15 mins walk...

day 5: oh, by the way, the breakfast sux at the hotel... it was home day... went to chinatown again in the morning for a lsat-minute buy... haha... bought some tidbits for family... hmm... then, we head for home... they provided us with macdonalds... it was a pleasant surprise... haha... took the mrt home where we received a lota stares... haha, serve us right for trying to be cheap... hee~!!

must say a thanks to my aunty for sponsoring this trip... quite fun~!!

anyway, i feel that it's a real shame people measure understanding in material comforts... it's so shallow.... i should have known... it's always like this... nobody is ever satisfied with anything... nobody really understands what i think... i think it's the obsession with wanting to believe what u want to believe... it's dillusion and stupid... anyway, just my own opinion... don't have to agree...

anyway, went to work yesterday... considering wanting to quit... it's packaging handphones... for a measly $40... it's quite hard work... hmm, must consider.... hiaz, earning $ is never easy...

it's real good to be home.... seeing farmiliar faces and the light burden... hmm, i tend to worry... unnecessarily... haha... it's good...

KL

hmm, this is gonna be my last entry before i embark on my trip to KL~!! haha, i haven't packed yet, despite having to leave at 6 tomorrow.... haha... wish me luck...

hmm, hopefully, it will be fun! fun! fun! can't wait!!!

haha, that's all....

belated prom... kind of....

hey, i'm back... should have been updating abt the prom nite... but, haha, was trying to sleep yesterday... it was definitely an unforgettable experience... hmm... read on...

i was supposed to meet hui qi at the station before meeting hwee min at her hse... as usual, i was late... hee~!! 5 mins only~!! haha, hwee min was even later... took a cab down... luckily, we were not late.... i refused to let what happen at sec sch prom repeat itself... hee, the first recognisable person was jo~!! haha, and a few others... hmm, jo, your eyes are real scary... heh heh...

well, it took 2 hours later before we were finally seated and the whole things started... hmm, it was real amusing, to some extent, to see everyone dressed up... hmm, i love wing and xiuz hair... it was real funky~!! haha, well, a lota ppl were in tube... sianz.... well, similarity are bound to occur... took many photos... well, i don't really look terribly fantasic... but, it's real nice to have some memories to live by... kudos to the juniors, they did a fab job, despite many who wants to put the councillors down... cool~!! wow, took photo with mr whitby too~!! he looks real real cool~!! shall miss him...

hmm, i forgot what time did the prom ended... haha, anyway, the class decided to go clubbing at this club called choco latte (think it's spelt like that)... anyway, it was a real eye-opener... people were smoking (disgusting, well, i hate smoke)... people were acting cool, actually, it was kinda amusing, people trying to act cool and dancing.... haha, anyway, even though the music was giving me a headache, i got my revenge by laughing at those pathetic souls... sad... sad... sad... well, i'm not a clubbin gal, so it doesn't matter to me if others scorn at me... well, never gonna enter one ever....

the club closed at 3 a.m., resulting in me and jo "homeless"... hee~! so the 2 of us walked to liang court, actually, we walked to some place called havelock street, where i got freak out... then, we walked to clarke quay and sat in one of the open-air restaurants, waiting for the train to start at abt 6:06 a.m.... hmm, must really thank jo for accompanying me to such a late hour... ny that time, my feet were killing me, causing me such intense pain that i couldn't walk properly... hmm, it was a miracle that i could last so long.... now, my poor feet are still healing.... thanks jo~!!

went for a job interview today... hmm, if i can call that an interview... well, me and my younger sis (ynn) were just required to fill in some forms... the agent, well, he was well-dressed, but, an ah beng... i'm not sterotyping, but, he really is a si1 wen2 bai4 lie4.... it was quite amusing... i was "scolded" by him for some thing... not really my fault... well, basically, i was trying not to laugh... hee~!! i'm kinda relieved to be able to find a job... hmm, it's kind of scary to work, got a first taste of it today... can't scold people back even though i feel like it... hiaz... welcome to the real world....

hmm, prom has ended... my jc life has partially ended too, well, there's results... hmm, many guys are enlisted in the army... kinda sad... you: hmm, don't know what i felt on prom night when i saw u... regret? i don't know... but, there's a tinge of sadness.... wish u all the luck then... i believe in fate...

well.... chapter closed...

hiaz.....

hiaz, just heard the news that my dad has lost his job... stupid merger... hiaz, what can i say?? my parents have been on tenterhooks since the announcement of the merger... guess it's not without reason... hiaz... luckily, i have a job... otherwise, have to face their nagging.... hiaz... hiaz...

life's like that, i guess, hit u suddenly and without warning... hmm, it's definitely not smooth sailing.... hiaz... ok... hiaz...

gonna teach later... sianz... but, what the heck, there's income...

grandma's birthday dinner~!!!

went for my maternal grandma's birthday dinner at this thai restaurant.... it was quite cheap and delicious... the tom yam soup sux though.... nevertheless, it was not bad overall, for the whole family to sit down and eat and talk... as usual, whatever table i'm at, the food finishes clean and quick, compared to the other table... haha, it's usually the case... hee~!!

my mum's cousin and her family came over to visit today... she's that kind whom i visit once a year, or once in a blue moon... compared to my direct family on my dad's side, they gave this warmth that is sorely lacking from my dad's family... hmm, and i have to "throw face"... they asked me to play the piano... haha, so i played robbie's william - better man... haha... it's quite an easy song though, as most pop songs are... robbie williams have this song called sexed up, it's really damn nice... must get a listen at it....

hmm, didn't go jogging today... haha, due to the dinner, and partly, laziness... hmm, am reading a book about witchcraft infused into the storyline... quite interesting... tell more abt it once i've completed the book...

gonna go cut my hair for the prom tomorrow... hmm, i think i'm the only person in the entire room without my hair done... haha, i guess it's whether i mind or not.... i don't... haha... it's ok, it's just a prom... not my marriage(if i am going to...)... waste so much $ for a forgotten night, kind of stupid?? in my opinion... oh, yeah, don't have to agree with me... hee~!!

yeah... life's kinda boring now...

nice day... i think...

pei shan brought me to the gym today.... haha, i'm quite a mountain tortise... it's my first time at a gym, not a bad experience... jog 3km... did some weights... haha, peishan, u really have strong legs... now, my whole body is aching.... then, we went swimming.... hmm, quite a workout... yeah, i love it~!! went peishan's house after that... lucky gal, has so much toys~!! hmm... nice prom dresses~!! can't wait to meet up after prom~!! haha....

hmm, got a new phone.... it's a motorola E398... ok, it's kinda difficult to use... hmm, after much stuff b4 i got the phone... hiaz, so much headache...

got a job, teaching piano... don't have to listen to nagging anymore.... yeah~!!

life's alright only...

hmm.... i was surprised with the bombardment on my tagboard... hee~! thanks folks~!!! i appreciate it.... yeah~!!

prom is just abt 6 days away... may meet peishan after prom... cool~!! bought everything, finally~!!

to sis: never thought u were a bimbo... don't know why u always misunderstand me...

hmm, my aunt treat us to dim sum today at toa payoh.... it was not bad... went to her condo for some swimming, and i was damn exhausted~!! played with my cousins... much younger than me... hiaz, i'm old... haha.... growing up certainly sux~!!

i guess, it's kinda bad to say that parents are damn selfish, but mine are... they are only concerned with their feelings... yeah, i know all those crap abt appreciating them, they are tired blah blah... but then, they are not the only beings in the hse... i don't understand why they must make the situaiton at home so unbearable... giving some shit black face.... what's the whole damn point in making urself in a bad mood?? some people are just so freaking stupid~!! nobody is perfect, don't seek for perfection... it's really very dumb... whateva... parents, who cares?? no appreciation shown...

taufik won~!! what can i say?? s'pore finally voted on talent~! yeah~!

badminton & running

i know some ppl out there wanna kill me.... hee~! i just won the britney spears greatest hits album from perfect 10... been waiting for a month to make the call~!! haha, i guess the patience paid off~!! yeah~!! i'm so happy~!!

hmm... went shopping yesterday... yes, town again... haha, this time, to buy my bag... hmm, bought an op skirt too~!! i'm so happy, i really love my skirt... hmm, i'm mad... anyway...

peishan called just now.... i thought she was angry with me for cancelling our meeting twice... haha, suntaning at the beach alone... so cool~!!! hee~!! later, will be darker then me~!! hmm.... glad that she's not mad....

went to play badminton with my sis, hmm, she's not bad, i must say.... there's improvement.... hmm, off to running now... hopefully, i have the strength... haha... cya~!!!

sunday blues...

many yearn for exams to be over... i'm no exception.... nevertheless, it's kind of scary... there is nothing to look forward to, in the sense that there's just no aim... u don't know what to do... it's just a never-ending tunnel of possibilities... but, there is no dead-end even.... it's just a long long stretch of pathway... haha... job-looking.... many are looking for MOE... will i get it?? i'm not sure... if i get it, then i have one less worry... it's like, after the exams, there's just so many things to consider... something like the first step into society... haha...

hmm... many things are happening these few days.... mostly to do with my feelings.... different people have different styles... i hate it when others butt in for no apparent reason... mind ur own bloody business... what's the point in voicing things out?? i don't like to quarrel with someone who has absolutely no sense of self-awareness... how can u take it out on me just because i don't respond back... u r so so stupid... whateva... i hope u get ur just deserts... don't think u can lord over me just because u like... it's because i'm just freaking tired of it... there's really no point... cos, nothing is ever wrong with u... selfish beings... have u ever thought of how i feel instead of u u u & u... selfish... anyway, it doesn't matter.... what's more important is that u r not hurt.... why do i even bother so much?

anyway, i just need to let it out, cos, u let it out on me... i'll just let it out on the com...

i hope it stops raining, so that i can go running... i need it...

shopping... broke....

went shopping today... again... what's new?? hmm, went to buy my prom top.... shopping with my mom is such a bother... she likes to criticise everything i wear.... hiaz... that's mothers for u... hmm.... i'm so sick of shopping.... my legs are getting whobbly from all the walking... in addition, i still have to buy accessories... it's fun, in a way... but then, once everything is settled, i can breathe easier... hiaz...

oh, and my phone... it's spoilt... it's a long story... anyway, i'm using my younger sis's phone... hiaz... it's so bad.... why does my phone have to spoil now?? and it's not totally my fault... hiaz... i don't understand why am i so neutral abt everything?? maybe it's my ability to see everyone as wrong... haha, therefore, i seldom get angry... however, i keep everything to myself... nobody wants to know... so, does it make me feel better?? hiaz... it's ok... sometimes, it's just better not to dwell so much...

my operation is scheduled on march... what the shit?? how am i gonna find a permanent yet temporary job?? irritating... hiaz... whateva... hmm, bought alota stuff... two tops... i better curb my spending... cos, i'm BROKE!! haha, so long...

shopping~!!

"A"s was over yesterday... can't say that i'm particularly exhilariated... i have not been fully concentrating on the "A"s... it's just like something that i have to do.... hmm...

went to watch the princess diaries 2 and the incredibles yesterday... haha, the princess show is like the usual fluff... it's so romantic~!! haha... incredibles was great~!! the baby was so so cute~!! hmm, i think it's great the family can overcome all odds to fight the evil... love is such an inexplainable thing, powerful and indestructible~!!! haha... it was a nice day... went with yoke, xiuz, xinyi and dear shu ying... haha, the poor gal, exams end next tues... take care, it's gonna be over~!!! yoke, hmm, going malaysia... haha, will hope to see her soon~!!

went shopping with my both sisters today... i think it's our first outing in like 3 years... it was quite fun... nonetheless, it was tiring~!!! prom is such a bother!!! i'm fat... can't find anything... i hate to try on so many, then, it's such a disappointment... found some stuff, just hope that my mum approves of it... i don't wanna keep finding... it's so irritating.... aargh~!! we shopped from 1-6 plus.... without shopping... how wonderful?? haha, i saw many people today... xinyi and jo... haha, orchard is like a place of meetings... s'pore is just so small~!!

hmm, i really hope sat's shopping trip will be over and done with~!! aargh~!! gonna do more and more exercise to lose weight!!! i'm fat~!!

2 more days~!

today's history and econs... hmm, think my econs is pretty screwed!! hiaz, it's ok... i did my best... just pray real hard... hmm, the hist questions were somewhat not expected... hopefully, my answering was alright... i really wanna get an A...

went to my aunt's hse at the spur of the moment... then went to j8 and eat ljs with my sister... the wrap is not bad... haha, then i walked ard, trying to get inspiration for my prom attire... hmm, i don't think it's that a difficult task.. haha, quite fun...

hmm... last paper soon... count down, 2 more days~!!

nothing much...

i thought the day will never come that sly will get into the finals... u know what? singapore is so so blind.... he, in w0rld idol?? oh my god!! but then again, taufik will win, cos sly is just too too bad!! he looks bad, sings bad, has bad attitude.... the list just goes on... singapore has only blind giggly teenagers who can't differentiate between talent and ugly/funny looks... come on?? fair competition... anyway, who i'm i to judge? taufik's gonna win... that is one good thing why sly is in the last 2... to show how good taufik is against him... anyway, he won't win... sux sux!! olinda... good work... will miss your vocals... something u can boast about... sly has none, take comfort in that... yeah~!!

hiaz, ok, enough... sly's fans gonna kill me... cos, they know what i say is true... they are trying to stop me from bitching abt his pathetice skills. none for the record... ok, ok...

hmm, lit today was alright... i think... peishan did the same qns as me~!! haha, not bad, same minds think alike~!! hmm, i really like mr whitby's paper... hopefully, it's alright... hmm, sometimes, i hate being such a sensitive person... i can't help disliking someone... should not, but... hiaz, i don't know lar...

i don't have any mood to study at all~!! hopefully, i can~!!

general

now, my frens are currently taking their history exams, while i'm enjoying myself in front of the computer... hiaz, i can't wait for all this to be over... i'm supposed to be studying history... haha, just read some outlines, and basically slacking... hmm, overconfidence?? erm, no, haha, i just think that i can finish studying... i don't have a memorising mind now... excuses?? probably... haha...

hiaz, i was just thinking abt econs again... i know, i'm a dumb dumb, but i just can't help it... i gave it my best shot... hopefully... hiaz...

hmm, i think abt stuff alot... yeah, i know everybody thinks... hiaz... i was just recollecting the time when i went back to bp during teachers' day... hmm, i remember my science teacher from sec 2 whose also from bp... he said that bp doesn't know how to cultivate loyalty from the students... at first, i do not believe him, but i agree with him now... he was chased out due to disagreemtns with other teachers... the guy from creative is form bp, he doesn't show much appreciation towards the sch, not that i blame him... the teachers don't even really bother to talk to u much... the feeling just isn't there... i feel like a stranger... maybe the description of a stranger is to the extreme is too much... but it's really a let-down... my fren was asking me whether i would go back next year... hmm...

i was just thinking that there's nothing in nj for me to visit while i was studying there... now, i have so many wonderful teachers.... mrs tan, mr whitby, ms ng... i will never forget them... they were there to help me whenever i meet any problems... well, other teachers too, but the interaction i had with them is much more... i hope i don't disappoint them... i will definitely miss them, esp. mrs tan... she brought a whole new perspective to my life... constantly helping me because she knew that i have no confidence in my gp... taking the initiative to call me down... talking and stuff... i will miss her... will i go back? u bet...

hmm.... these kind of things, i think abt.... studies, boring... haha...

exams....

hey, i'm back~!! haha, after a 2-day frenzy of exams... which, hiaz... yesterday was maths paper 2 and lit paper1... i'm so so glad that the paper 2 was not that difficult... i think and hope that i got most of them right... hopefully, i'm able to get and A... hopefully... hiaz, lit was another matter... i hate donne... hiaz, think i'm pretty screwed for his poem... hmm, ms chua is so freaking accurate... the context for m4 was so on the spot.... hopefully, for that, i can do alright... hard times, haha, if i did correctly, it should be alright... haha, hopefully...

hmm, econs today was hiaz... why didn't they set wages?!! hiaz, i think i'm quite screwed... hmm, mr lim called yesterday to wish good luck and today to ask how was it... hmm, he was reassuring me that it isn't that bad... hiaz, actually he cheered me up, as he knows that i didn't have time to finish before i even said it... so, the general populace should undergo the same thing?? mag also says that those who did qn 4 has short ans... hiaz, hopefully...

hiaz, i really am sick of studying... it's gonna be over soon~!!

update...

hey!! i know alot of my frens are not as focused as they should be... they should not worry cos i'm with them... haha... not a good thing... anyway, i just wanna finish my paper 1 today... yeah, i can~! donne is so boring...

just an update,,,

hey!! i'm back~!! haha... daphne's out!! used to hate her, but think she's very sincere now... haha... so long, i hope olinder will win~!! she's the best~!! haha, sly is gonna get out next week~!! yeah~!! ok, i'm evil... haha... fans out there, spare me~!!

hmm, today is quite an alright day... my mum's hope, so i did quite a bit of work... haha... i hurt the other leg of mine... i'm so clumsy... now, when i go running, my leg tire very very easily... hiaz, i hope it's not a long term problem...

hmm, went out for dinner today... it was nice, ate quite a number of things... fish-pieced hor fun, shared oyster, hokkien prawn mee and ice kachang with mum and sistas... haha, it was nice...

3 more days to the onslaught of the "A"s, why do i feel so relaxed?? haha, gonna start to mug real hard tomorrow, or i'm gonna be so dead... haha... so long~!! take care people...

the princess dairies 2 the royal engagement

hiaz, it's a chore to study... i believe everyone agrees with me... have been trying to study my lit... m4m is so boring... i don't know if it's because that i have read it once recently or it's just that i can't be bothered with... hiaz, i really wanna do well for my lit... i have never passed the horizon of a D... can i?? i really want to... however, looking at my pathetic progress, i'm beginning to wonder real hard... hiaz... no use procastinating... hiaz...

my sis bought a pencil-box for me... it's real nice~! i like it very much... even though my tranquil environment has been disturbed by her homecoming... it's a nice disturbance... hee~!!

been feeling much better about my mood and feelings... hiaz... it's like that lar...

just watch the princess dairies 2... yeah... it's not bad... the male lead is damn damn cute~!! haha... think i'm gonna watch it on the big screen... haha... hmm, i'm half-way through sharks' tale... it's alright, i don't know why the critics say it's superficial... haha, maybe i'm shallow... yeah... i have to study right?? haha...

gonna go running later... must drag my sis with me... she's so lazy... haha~!! so long then... wish me luck in my pathetic progress...

maths... praying...

finally have the chance to blog... have alota things in mind... firstly, what else?? haha, the "A"s... hmm, had history yesterday... i think it was alright, in the sense that i understand the questions... i feel quite screwed as i seem to forget all that i have studied on russian rev... i think i have some divine power helping me... i was focusing on german unification and russian rev, for the first part... and it came out!! haha, i'm really thankful for it... it's over~!! history is such a big thing, for the amount of studying required...

maths... hiaz... i think and hope that i'm overeacting... i've lost some marks due to a wrong reading of a question... i think i'm that kind who thinks that a wrong question will mean a very bad mark... hopefully, it's all in my stupid mind... haiz... i just pray that what i did was right... that's all... yeah, must try harder for paper 2...

hurt my leg yesterday... the part where it'ss just after the last 4 toes, where u can bend... i landed on the bend... it hurt initially, but it's not a sprain... nevertheless, it's hurting on and off now... i'm hoping that it will not worsen so that i can go running... yeah... don't like to be injured... yeah, who will like it?? dumb dumb...

my sis is in genting right now... she's coming back tomorrow... hmm, better buy nice stuff for me... haha, didn't miss her that much cos of the exams... hmm, looking forward to her homecoming though...

hiaz... now, to the mind stuff... i guess, for relationships, when the more u care for someone, the more u will feel hurt... i admit, once i start to care for someone, i will get very possessive... hence, i feel the hurt when my frens do not pay that much attention to me... maybe, because, me and my sis have such a close relationship that i don't bother much abt frens and stuff... however, in jc, i realise that i care for some close ones... i feel hurt even though it's a stupid thing... yeah, i'm that sensitive to little things, like frens drifting away from me... even though, it's like for some times... maybe, that's why i feel more... i know, it's my own thinking and stuff, i don't blame anyone... just myself for having such a wild imagination.... hmm, maybe retreating back to a shell and not caring as much helps?? i don't really like it but it's clear to me... yeah, and maybe i should stop thinking abt myself... but, my frens are doing it.... hiaz...

yeah, going back to studying soon.... don't feel like talking much these days...

rampage in russia

what a shit moment to get sick!! i was battling this serious flu which left my body limpless... then, i couldn't stop sneezing... which, i think was part of the reason why i didn't study more yesterday... haha... yeah, russia... hmm, can study finish~!! now, still feeling a little cold, which does not seem to be the symptons of flu... no, i will not get a fever~!! yeah, can't go running too... haha... yeah, it will be over soon...

gp... hmm...

hmm... had gp paper today... haha, bitter laughter... i did not finish the AQ... it's the first time... hiaz, i can take comfort that i'm not the only one... nevertheless... hmm, i was walking home and i realise that my essay seems to go out of point?? haha, i don't know whether it's my imagination or...?? haha, it's alright, anyway, it's over... if i'm destined to do well, i will, something like that... haiz, studying for my hist 1 which happens on mon... quite nice lar, to finally start studying... hmm, must think of it in the sense that it's my last chance to study anyway... hmm, it's pouring now, really literally pouring... and, i went to sleep after i had on the light, hmm, my mum being nice, came in to switch off when i was about to wake up... haha, so, it's kind of nice she asks me to go back to sleep... she was never that nice to me, as in concern about my sleeping... haha... so, at that moment, i told her abt my dream...

the dream: i dreamt last night that i had forgotten to study for my lit paper 1 and 3... and i sorta thought that the papers were today... and, i was in this classroom with my sec sch classmates... nonetheless, i was horrified... i woke up with a start... yesterday was a fitful night... didn't really sleep well... haha...

went to the specialist centre to collect my cd from power 98... the joke: they didn't have my name... i was like... WHAT?? haha, i didn't say that... i'm nice mah~! hee~!! so i called power 98 to ask... my name wasn't there... the person was like did the dj say u won the cd... i feel like asking her whether i'm loony or not... the dj took my name and everything... so?? funny... hiaz, so waiting for their call...

hmm... my say that i sometimes do say the wrong things... hmm... must learn to be politically correct... yoke: happy studying?? haha...

hmm, did this personality test, hmm, apparently, i'm intj, as shown below:


Your Type is INTJ
strength of preferences %
Introverted 56
Intuitive 33
Thinking 44
Judging 22

The Portrait of the Mastermind Rational (iNTj)

Of the four aspects of strategic analysis and definition, it is the contingency planning or entailment organizing role that reaches the highest development in Masterminds. Entailing or contingency planning is not an informative activity, rather it is a directive one in which the planner tells others what to do and in what order to do it. As the organizing capabilities the Masterminds increase so does their inclination to take charge of whatever is going on.

It is in their abilities that Masterminds differ from the other Rationals, while in most of their attitudes they are just like the others. However there is one attitude that sets them apart from other Rationals: they tend to be much more self-confident than the rest, having, for obscure reasons, developed a very strong will. They are rather rare, comprising no more than, say, one percent of the population. Being very judicious, decisions come naturally to them; indeed, they can hardly rest until they have things settled, decided, and set. They are the people who are able to formulate coherent and comprehensive contingency plans, hence contingency organizers or "entailers."

Masterminds will adopt ideas only if they are useful, which is to say if they work efficiently toward accomplishing the Mastermind's well-defined goals. Natural leaders, Masterminds are not at all eager to take command of projects or groups, preferring to stay in the background until others demonstrate their inability to lead. Once in charge, however, Masterminds are the supreme pragmatists, seeing reality as a crucible for refining their strategies for goal-directed action. In a sense, Masterminds approach reality as they would a giant chess board, always seeking strategies that have a high payoff, and always devising contingency plans in case of error or adversity. To the Mastermind, organizational structure and operational procedures are never arbitrary, never set in concrete, but are quite malleable and can be changed, improved, streamlined. In their drive for efficient action, Masterminds are the most open-minded of all the types. No idea is too far-fetched to be entertained-if it is useful. Masterminds are natural brainstormers, always open to new concepts and, in fact, aggressively seeking them. They are also alert to the consequences of applying new ideas or positions. Theories which cannot be made to work are quickly discarded by the Masterminds. On the other hand, Masterminds can be quite ruthless in implementing effective ideas, seldom counting personal cost in terms of time and energy.

Introverted iNtuitive Thinking Judging by Marina Margaret Heiss

To outsiders, INTJs may appear to project an aura of "definiteness", of self-confidence. This self-confidence, sometimes mistaken for simple arrogance by the less decisive, is actually of a very specific rather than a general nature; its source lies in the specialized knowledge systems that most INTJs start building at an early age. When it comes to their own areas of expertise -- and INTJs can have several -- they will be able to tell you almost immediately whether or not they can help you, and if so, how. INTJs know what they know, and perhaps still more importantly, they know what they don't know.

INTJs are perfectionists, with a seemingly endless capacity for improving upon anything that takes their interest. What prevents them from becoming chronically bogged down in this pursuit of perfection is the pragmatism so characteristic of the type: INTJs apply (often ruthlessly) the criterion "Does it work?" to everything from their own research efforts to the prevailing social norms. This in turn produces an unusual independence of mind, freeing the INTJ from the constraints of authority, convention, or sentiment for its own sake.

INTJs are known as the "Systems Builders" of the types, perhaps in part because they possess the unusual trait combination of imagination and reliability. Whatever system an INTJ happens to be working on is for them the equivalent of a moral cause to an INFJ; both perfectionism and disregard for authority may come into play, as INTJs can be unsparing of both themselves and the others on the project. Anyone considered to be "slacking," including superiors, will lose their respect -- and will generally be made aware of this; INTJs have also been known to take it upon themselves to implement critical decisions without consulting their supervisors or co-workers. On the other hand, they do tend to be scrupulous and even-handed about recognizing the individual contributions that have gone into a project, and have a gift for seizing opportunities which others might not even notice.

In the broadest terms, what INTJs "do" tends to be what they "know". Typical INTJ career choices are in the sciences and engineering, but they can be found wherever a combination of intellect and incisiveness are required (e.g., law, some areas of academia). INTJs can rise to management positions when they are willing to invest time in marketing their abilities as well as enhancing them, and (whether for the sake of ambition or the desire for privacy) many also find it useful to learn to simulate some degree of surface conformism in order to mask their inherent unconventionality.

Personal relationships, particularly romantic ones, can be the INTJ's Achilles heel. While they are capable of caring deeply for others (usually a select few), and are willing to spend a great deal of time and effort on a relationship, the knowledge and self-confidence that make them so successful in other areas can suddenly abandon or mislead them in interpersonal situations.
This happens in part because many INTJs do not readily grasp the social rituals; for instance, they tend to have little patience and less understanding of such things as small talk and flirtation (which most types consider half the fun of a relationship). To complicate matters, INTJs are usually extremely private people, and can often be naturally impassive as well, which makes them easy to misread and misunderstand. Perhaps the most fundamental problem, however, is that INTJs really want people to make sense. :-) This sometimes results in a peculiar naivete', paralleling that of many Fs -- only instead of expecting inexhaustible affection and empathy from a romantic relationship, the INTJ will expect inexhaustible reasonability and directness.

Probably the strongest INTJ assets in the interpersonal area are their intuitive abilities and their willingness to "work at" a relationship. Although as Ts they do not always have the kind of natural empathy that many Fs do, the Intuitive function can often act as a good substitute by synthesizing the probable meanings behind such things as tone of voice, turn of phrase, and facial expression. This ability can then be honed and directed by consistent, repeated efforts to understand and support those they care about, and those relationships which ultimately do become established with an INTJ tend to be characterized by their robustness, stability, and good communications.

Functional Analysisby Joe Butt

Introverted iNtuitionINTJs are idea people. Anything is possible; everything is negotiable. Whatever the outer circumstances, INTJs are ever perceiving inner pattern-forms and using real-world materials to operationalize them. Others may see what is and wonder why; INTJs see what might be and say "Why not?!" Paradoxes, antinomies, and other contradictory phenomena aptly express these intuitors' amusement at those whom they feel may be taking a particular view of reality too seriously. INTJs enjoy developing unique solutions to complex problems.

Extraverted Thinking
Thinking in this auxiliary role is a workhorse. Closure is the payoff for efforts expended. Evaluation begs diagnosis; product drives process. As they come to light, Thinking tends, protects, affirms and directs iNtuition's offspring, fully equipping them for fulfilling and useful lives. A faithful pedagogue, Thinking argues not so much on its own behalf, but in defense of its charges. And through this process these impressionable ideas take on the likeness of their master.

Introverted Feeling
Feeling has a modest inner room, two doors down from the Most Imminent iNtuition. It doesn't get out much, but lends its influence on behalf of causes which are Good and Worthy and Humane. We may catch a glimpse of it in the unspoken attitude of good will, or the gracious smile or nod. Some question the existence of Feeling in this type, yet its unseen balance to Thinking is a cardinal dimension in the full measure of the INTJ's soul.

Extraverted Sensing
Sensing serves with a good will, or not at all. As other inferior functions, it has only a rudimentary awareness of context, amount or degree. Thus INTJs sweat the details or, at times, omit them. "I've made up my mind, don't confuse me with the facts" could well have been said by an INTJ on a mission. Sensing's extraverted attitude is evident in this type's bent to savor sensations rather than to merely categorize them. Indiscretions of indulgence are likely an expression of the unconscious vengeance of the inferior.

hmm, quite true lar, sorry to put u through so many rubbish... haha... here's a list of famous intjs...

Dan Aykroyd, actor (The Blues Brothers)
Susan B. Anthony, suffragist
Arthur Ashe, tennis champion
Augustus Caesar (Gaius Julius Caesar Octavianus), Emperor of Rome
Jane Austen, author (Pride and Prejudice)
William J. Bennett, "drug czar"
William F. Buckley, Jr., conservative political advocate
Raymond Burr, actor (Perry Mason, Ironsides)
Chevy Chase (Cornelius Crane), actor (Fletch)
Phil Donahue, television talk show host
Michael Dukakis, governor of Mass., 1988 U.S. Dem. pres. candidate
Greg Gumbel, television sportscaster
Hannibal, Carthaginian military leader
Veronica Hamel, actor (Hill Street Blues)
Orel Leonard Hershiser, IV, major league baseball pitcher
Peter Jennings, television newscaster
Charles Everett Koop, former U.S. surgeon general
Ivan Lendl, tennis champion
C. S. Lewis, author (The Chronicles of Narnia)
Joan Lunden, television talk show host
Edwin Moses, U.S. olympian (hurdles)
Martina Navratilova, tennis champion
Charles Rangel, U. S. Representative, D-N.Y.
Pernell Roberts, actor (Bonanza)
Maria Owens Shriver, television newscaster
Josephine Tey (Elizabeth Mackintosh), mystery writer (Brat Farrar)
Rudy Giuliani, New York City mayor
Donald Rumsfeld, US Secretary of Defense
General Colin Powell, US Secretary of Statea

haha, 2 important ppl of the US... hmm, i've always like colin powell... hee~!! sorry, me out such a lota stuff...

the manchurian candidate

haha, have been procastinating for so long abt my blog... partly, i didn't want to complain about not studying... not studying... not studying... and nothing else... haha, i guess, it's quite normal if nobody believes me and i'm not out to prove something by not studying... well, i've been doing some work... yeah...

hee~!! went to watch the manchurian candidate... hmm... it was an intellectual stimulus... haha, i like it that the show is artfully crafted together... everything is flowing at a smooth pace, getting the plot together... hmm, it's about this presidential candidate raymond shaw who has been brainwashed, together with his group of army soldiers, into believing that he was the hero, by saving all of them... then, major marco, denzel washington's character is out to prove the truth... hmm, mery steep put in the good acting too... i think the main theme in this movie is how one's ambitions and dreams, esp. of a parent is focused on a child. and how that ambition cause the parent to stage this whole brainwash thingy just for her own power and son... it's very exciting, the climax building and all... haha, go catch it!!

hiaz, thursday marks the start of my "A"s... frankly speaking, i can't wait to get down and mug real hard... haha, good luck to all!!

yoke hing: must take a break sometimes!! we'll go watch movieS after the "A"s!! hee~!!

mrs tan

just came back from a day of consultation in sch... haha, it was quite fun, esp. with mrs tan... she treated me and zhao xiu to lunch at venetia.... it was quite fun... we were discussing gp stuff... i think mrs tan is a cool mom and everything... she believes that her children must be happy no matter what... that's kind of cool, happiness on to of every other thing... it's nice that she has such a close relationship with her children... we knew more abt her among the gp stuff... i'm so gonna miss her!! hiaz... i hope i can do well for gp... don't wanna disappoint her and myself... i must try to do my best!!!

hee~!! anyway, i think that i must really start to mug, which i can... haha, soon....

monday

i feel quite shoik today!! i managed to finish studying albee, sorta, just finishing my much awaited notes!! yeah!! i went running too!! finally!! after 9 days!! yeah!! haha...

i just wanna disicpline myself for this week... i must... yeah, went to eat indian rojak with my sis this afternoon, and went shopping at popular... bought new pens!! haha, i have a lot now... waste money, but... yeah...

that's all...

hiaz...

hey... i'm back again... haha, didn't do much today... what's new?? anyway, complaining isn't my intention today... yeah...

last friday, i unwittingly announced my intense dislike for someone... i think that certain someone will hear of it soon... it's alright. i don't really care, cos i'm just like that... anyway, why do i keep shooting off my big, fat mouth without thinking... it's quite funny... i just hope that my words will not create any animosity for the people around us... hiaz... so sianz... why is life so complicating? i like things simple...

i won 2 cds this week!! robbie williams greatest hits from perfect 10, and this power 98 cd, not sure what is it... haha, anyway, i feel great abt it... so lucky!! if only i'm that lucky during exams!!

here's brian mcfadden new song, real to me... strange, didn't expect him to be quite a success...

Showbiz dinners and the free champagne,
Men in suits who think they know it all,
No one knows me, but they know my name
That's not Real to Me

Hotel Lobby to the aeroplane,
Another country but they start to look the same
Watch the world behind a window pane
That's not real to me

[Chorus]
When I see my babies run,
When all the madness has been and gone,
I raise my family and live in peace,
Now that's what real to me, real to me

Dying flowers in a dressing room,
A dangerous time to let your head make up it own mind,
Got me thinking that the spirits flown,
That's not real to me

[Chorus]
When I see my babies run,
When all the madness has been and gone,
I raise my family and live in peace,
Now that's what real to me, real to me

Picnics in the garden, and the children they can play
The first day of that summer,
And I laze here all the day,
Then we'll invite the family round and drink some English tea
Then I raise up my finger,
And watch football on T.V.
Now that's what real to me

[Chorus]
When I see my babies run,
When all the madness has been and gone,
I raise my family and live in peace,
Now that's what's real to me, that's what's real to me
Real to me

Wake up you might be dreamin'
Wake up you might be dreamin' now

cos it just doesn't matter...

here i am... have been procastinating regarding my blog... haha... it's just it's so nice to play neopets... haha, yeah... oh, i've just watched the prince and me... on monday, i was watching bourne supremacy... haha... nice life right?? hmm... bourne supremacy, i just wanna say that i wish i catch it on the big screen... the prince and me... hmm, after watching it, it made me realise a lot, and i mean, a lot of things... just realise how stupid am i...

to u: i guess, it all boils down to whether i really wanted u in my life... i did, i know, cos i couldn't let go, always finding some stupid excuse to msg u, call u... r u dense? or am i stupid? i guess it's the latter... u can't get my hints... i try so hard... did u?? u just confuse me with ur presence?? what's the point?? why are u torturing me?? shit u.... u'll see, cos i didn't tell u straight, does it mean i didn't care for u enough? then, why am i holding on? i have no guts... that's true?? however, u'll see, all these doesn't matter in the end... it's because nobody, nobody will remember because no effort was taken... so, should i hate u?? i should not, cos, nobody will care... it really doesn't matter...

to another u: i thought u like me... so, i tried to communicate... but then, u don't seem to respond... i don't think i was wrong, so, it's all in my imagination... i'm just glad that things did not blow up, yes, and shit u... u'll see, all these doesn't matter, cos, nobody will know what happen, nobody will see what happens, cos, u'll see, nobody did anything... life's so funny right?

why the response?? cos, in the prince and me, julia stiles went to denmark to search for eddie, cos she really love him, not caring that her dreams of becoming a doc is gone, that kind of thing... that's love... crushes are so stupid, they don't amount to anything... and, i realise, if u really like/love a certain someone, u will go and make sure that the person is yours... if there's no response, it just means that that someone is so pathetic that he doesn't wanna say anything or just that he doesn't care enough... yeah, maybe it's the same case for me... cos, in the end, it really doesn't mean anything... just stupid memories... yeah... life's funny, it always is... swearing off love....

haha, bitching session is good... yeah, i haven't study much... gonna die real soon... hiaz, hafta study!!!

family issues

hey... it's been a long while... hiaz, the "A"s are coming and i haven't really study yet!! yeah, it's kind of irritating... i was really in a panic yesterday and couldn't breathe properly, then i went to check on the timetable, and i relaxed... haha, self comforting is such a nice thing...

sometimes, i just hate my mom... she's bias, yes and i think sometimes very selfish... she likes to accuse me of doing some stupid things on net, like chatting, surfing stuff, reading blog and such... she doesn't understand why people my age do these stuff... and how am i gonna make her understand? she likes to rant and rave at me... whateva, i can totally wipe out whateva she says, i just wish she doesn't say it so much, cos she's just wasting her breath... and she likes to give black faces... which is so stupid, cos i just don't bother and care... how to get her to understand? she's real funny sometimes, thinking that she's the only person suffering in the entire household... u know what, whateva, i wish she just stop to think sometimes... the family has to tread lightly in case we trigger her anger... isn't that selfish? we try so hard and she gets angry... maybe it's because of the medicine she's taking to treat her typhoid that has messed up her hormones... we have to understand, but there's definitely a limit...

k, i'm quite disturbed by all these... cos, i'm like that... yeah, i went with my maternal grandma for her doc's appointment on tuesday... i'm quite worried for her as the metal in her leg has gotten a little loose, which in fact, will inhibit her walking... hopefully, the calcium medicine she is taking will help her strengthen her bones... u know, sometimes, it's nice to talk to the older folks... i've always been quite close to my grandma, but due to studies, i have not been talking to her often... sometimes, they give u a different perspective to certain things, it's quite interesting and refreshing... i love my grandma...

yeah, family issues...

hmm... my tuition fren, she often asks me when's tuition... haha, i know she misses me... hey, yifen!! don't grow too tall!!  

hey, mark lo!! he sure is tall... haha, he's quite nice, and helpful... think he's gonna miss us!! 

oh... yokez!! one of my bestest fren in nj!! i like the look of her like this... hmm... her photo is very precious, cos she only took with me after much persuasion!! haha... she looks cute!! 

oh, xiuz!! the first classmate that i spoke to!! haha, we had a tough journey... i really appreciate her presence, for putting up with me and such... really apprecitate it... 

this was the first photo take after the graduation ceremony... my sec sch one suxs, this one suxs even more... nevertheless, it was kind of nice of the teachers to do it, even though, there's no sense of loss... yeah. 

the day started off with the yep pioneers of njc standing at the podium in front of the sea of greys... it was quite funny!! haha... will miss it... quite fun!! 

complaints

okie... confession time... haven't been typing because i was too lazy... playing too much games on the internet is part of it too... haha... ok, this is dedicated to a certain someone who will not read... whateva lar... just need to get it off my mind... here goes...

i'm glad

i'm glad, u make me see
the impossible, yet to near
for me to realise, that
u r not whom u seem

i'm glad, it took me 6 years
to finally see the light
even though, i should have seen
it earlier, stupid me...

i'm glad, u say what u want
i want to wish u all the best
it's hard, but i felt nothing when
i message back...

i'm glad, i can feel it now...
the mild anger and the frustrations
over the 6 years. is it worth?
all the second-guessing

i'm glad, it's still not too late
not to make a fool out of myself
wishing for something that should never be
u make me see

i hate u. do i?

haha, i guess it really says it all... it's just that sometimes, people do not wish to face up to the truth... denial is always a great route for escapism... whateva...

i like mr whitby!! have i said it many times?? i'm so gonna miss him... one of the few things i'll miss in nj... hiaz... tmr's officially the last day of sch... i'm graduating from the days of wearing uniform, canteen food... all that goes along with it... haiz, the dread "A"s are coming... i hafta start studying...

selfish people - i really hate them... why some people just can't see themselves like that? they think they are the best yet fail to accept people who is able to think from both sides? is it my fault... luckily, i'm clear-headed enough to see that... otherwise, i will suffer from being just by u... disgusting behaviour... yeah...

ok, this i rather disorganised... yeah, sorryz...

sudden urge...

i just realise that i have the capacity to laugh and make the others around me laugh so widely... haha, esp my family members... i don't know why... natural talent i guess *grinz*

hehe, fruits eating was a nice affair, with my laughing and the tears to my eyes... my sis, she sometimes says things so suddenly that i am so caught off guard... she told my mum that some people think that i'm selfish in a certain context... then, my mum was like, u r so outspoken and frank that people might think u in that way... i was llike, hey, i'm not... hmm... i'm so glad for close frens who firmly believes in me that i don't need outsiders or rather irritants to determine myself... yeah, screw them... yeha!

i was just thinking about consultation with mr whitby... he was asking whether we condone or approve of the character... as usual, i try to act smart... i thought condone=condemn... haha, made a fool out of myself... anyway, i was quite embarrassed, so didn't talk much after that... i'm like that lar... really can't stand it when i'm being made a fool of... even if it's my own fault... haha, i'm fine with now... meeting mr whitby tmr for consultation too...!

i was having diarhoea during dinner.... the pain was so excrutiatingly painful that i couldn't help but proclaim, "oh my god! how am i gonna give birth in the future?" yeah, i'm weird... haha... my hist teacher in sec sch once told us that the pain of giving birth is 50 times the pain of a hamstring pull... wow, i guess stomachache is only about one-tenth of a hamstring pull, so, my gosh, it's damn painful!!

haha, chatting with yoke now... i'm glad we share the same dislike for a person... haha, screw that person... whateva... yoke, i'm always with u, even if u r sianz now...

yeah, sis, must learn to take things easy...

sky captain and the world of tomorrow

finally... i get the chance to use the computer... my twin sis has been hogging the computer for the whole night!! haha. can't blame her... she's been trying real hard to set up her blog... kudos to her determination... yar, and by the way, she's still in the process of setting it up... hee!!

it's been days since i last blogged... haha, i've been feeling real tired, thus, there was a lack of mood to blog... anyway, yar... hmm, went to watch sky captain and the world of tomorrow with joanne... when i got off the bus at orchard, i saw two farmiliar figures... surprise surprise... it's my aunt and twin sis... haha, i guess jo was quite shocked as my aunt kept telling me, "u better don't play... go and study..." yar, that kind of thing... jo wanted to collect her sim card, and ended up paying for my bus fare to suntec city... thanks dear, although think she was influenced by my aunt's looks... hee!!

yeah, we ate kenny rogers... the first time there for me... it was nice... must visit there again... haha... then, we ate ice-cream from mac... sundae, one of my favs... then, we walked ard suntec for quite a long time before we went to watch the movie... haha, it was a nice movie... there was this mystical feel, and i was lured by the romantic though a little cheesy dialogue between the characters... the setting was very romantic, so it was very nice and easy to the eye... didn't like the sound effects though. it was a bit too loud... haha, as it was a premiere, we saw adrain pang and his family, steph song( don't like her), ann poh (wow, she really has big boobs) and some others... they are from channel u... yeah... in the end, me and jo didn't cared but just stared cos we are wearing nj u... hee!!

yeah, yesterday, was quite a boring day, having boring lessons... haha, as usual... hmm, ms ng didn't come sch yesterday... it was quite a downer... i really like her lessons... haha, anyway, she turned up today, looking quite sick though, must take care... yeah!

today was quite a fun day... yan rong wanted to film a video of our class and the teachers... it was quite fun, going around looking for the teachers to say nice stuff about our class... haha, yeah, and ms sharon phua is so adamant abt us filming her... actually, underneath her hard deamnour, she's quite fun... when she saw the video we have taken of other teachers, she laughed at the video clips like a little girl, rather like ms ng... we were taken aback by her sudden "niceness", u know, as in not angry, with the black face all the time... haha... yeah, it was nice...

hiaz, today's last day of the sch with the principal's farewell as the official closure of the j2's life on monday... i'm feeling rather bland and neutral abt the last day of sch... maybe my feelings will intensify during the farewell speech... haha, shall write more then...

it's kind of sucky, having to go back to sch... my study timetable is rather hard to plan, but it's all from my own doing... haha... it's alright lar... yeah, for my own good...

hey yoke, haven't talk to u for a long long long .... time... haha, must catch up soon!!

3 more weeks...

haha... i'm so proud of my sis... she finally set up her own blog, however, with my help... she didn't admit though, but then, i shall help her proclaim to the whole world... haha... see, i'm so nice, not selfish, as some people think... ok, this is a despicable stab... so yar, ignore me...

actually, i'm quite satisfied today... managed to get some work done despite the handphone playing in between... see, i'm so pathetic that i have to resort to handphone playing to keep myself amused... haha... gonna watch movie with jo tomorrow... yeah, i can't wait... haha...

oh, yoke, i hope u managed to get your source-based done to ur utmost best in between all the snacking... haha, at least u have nice stuff to eat... hee!! we are so pathetic!!

my dad's bday just past, bought a belated present for him and my mum... haha, hope he likes it... it's just some nice and expensive cake...

hiaz, one week have past... three more weeks to the "A"s... how exciting... yeah, and i haven't done my pinter essay... i was just thinking about the business world again, yeah, i keep thinking about it... i wanna conquer it, it's my dream, haha... yar... it's so competitve... i love it... nevertheless, behind all the back-stabbing is just pure human kindness which they businessmen managed to hide... there's a need, i guess... but it's all so unfeeling... everyone's almost like that... haha.... so nice...

yeah...

saturday blues...

i feel so useless... for the whole day, i just did some pathetic maths... that's all!! i feel so disgusted with myself... hiaz, better start doing cos i have so much to do... hiaz, whateva... i heard that AC maths paper was difficult... i was ready to face the challenge... and i regretted taking up the challenge... i think the maths department in that sch is mad... haha...

yoke is so funny... every saturday, without fail, she will msg me to tell me she's so SIANZ... haha, it's the same for me every saturday... i feel so larthargic, just don't feel like doing anything... hee!!

i was reading abt this time mag which was months ago about divorce rates hitting a sky-high rate in asia... this set me thinking that women's role in society is evolving at such a fast rate that the poor men can't cope with it... haha, that's just their problem... women are getting divorces much more than the men initiating it... come to think of it, there's pros and cons... i mean, women are now on equal status with men BUT it sorta gives us the liberty to do what u want, given the connotations associated with us... for eg, we must be given our way and stuff, cos we are supposedly the weaker sex... haha, poor men... then, there's this social stigma, stated by the article, esp in the developing countries... women's right's are still at it's developing stage in india, thus, any women who had a divorce will be seriously ostracized by the family and society... i guess it all has to do with the social mindset in that country... it's kind of sad, i feel, that women who dares to stand up are not treated with respect but with dirt... i hope the situation can change to suit both sexes just fine... that's the paradox of it... men don't wish for women to be strong because it's a pride thing, but then, they also love women who can take care of themselves, for the case of singapore... haha...

went running today... i think my stamina is detoriating... i ran faster, but with the same timing... i must run more... hiaz, i hope the "A"s will be over soon... to my horrors, the "O"s end one week earlier, how shit can that be?? haha, life's cute...

oh, just bought a cd at $15.99... how cheap can that be?! yeah, it's leann rimes greatest hits, had been wanting to buy a long time... haha, great bargain... oh, and s&k has so much new stuff... i hope they have a sale soon!! haha... thinking of non-"A"s stuff...

so, here's a song from the album... it teaches us to hold on and we'll make it... yeah!!

We Can
They'll try to stop the dream we're dreamin'
But they can't stop us from believing
They will fill your head with doubt
But that won't stop us now
So let them say we can't do it
Put up a road block
We'll just run right through it.. Cause...

chorus
We can, do the impossible
We have the power in our hands
And we won't stop 'cause we've got
To make a difference in this life
With one voice, one heart, two hands, we can

They say the odds are stacked against us
But that can't hold us back, we will be relentless
There's a voice they're gonna hear
A voice so loud and clear
So let them say we can't do it, give us a mountain,
and we're gonna move it.. cause..

chorus

We're gonna make a change today (make a change today)
Because we've got the faith it takes
To win this race, so let them say we can't do it
Put up a road block
And we'll just run right through it cuz..

chorus
I can (oh I can)
Do the impossible (do the impossible)
I have the power in my hands, and I won't stop
Cause I've got to make a difference in this life
With my one voice, one heart, two hands, we can

white chicks

haha... i'm toking to yoke on msn, then, it's like we are baring our souls out... that's good, cos it clears the air... i'm glad!!

yesterday was a damn freaking tired day... i couldn't really concentrate cos i was up late doing some stuff... and, i forgot what... haha... yesterday was just a whirlwind...

went to sch at 9 in the morning for consultation with ms chua and mrs tan... i'm so sad, i didn't prepare for ms chua, so, i was kinda listening to zhao xiu... haha, i promise to revise first for next week's consultation... mrs tan was so intense during compre lesson... never seen this side of her... i guess, it's time to be serious cos there's other classes too... "A" s are coming... sianz...

then, i met my sis to watch white chicks!! it was damn hiliarious!! it's a must-watch!! if u think it's a wastage of money, change ur mind!! cos it will make u laugh like shit!! yeah!! then, i was so hungry... we were eating popcorn... as usual, my sis luvs popcorn, she finished all of it... haha! i don't know why but i kept smelling this vomit smell... strange...

hiaz, i guess appearance and reality can make a big difference in our lives... ultimately, it's who u trust most that matters... i'm really fortunate to have a few real close frens in school whom i can trust... as for the rest, screw them as well as they like me to be screwed... really, heck care... and that, whom u thought were real were not... it's hurting? well, it's not, so i guess, i really, don't, have any thing against or for them, just a hint of dislike... well, just 3 days, i don't have to see them!! yeah!!

haha... shall go read yoke's blog... yeah... and, i luv my sis, yoke, peishan... yeah!!

life's strange

have u ever had the feeling of typing something real uplifting and fun, then, when u read others blog, ur nice mood just disappears into the air...? hiaz, it's okie, i'm quite adjustable... haha... yar, i'm in a "high" mood now!!

final prelims results: maths - B
history - B
econs - D
literature - D
as i was telling my friends, the results are rather unexpected... i'm afraid of not being able to do well... well, i guess that's on everyone's mind... getting the good results for prelims is vital, but it just makes me more afraid, so, i'm quite fine with my results... i'm so frustrated about lit!!i can't seem to improve except for mr whitby's paper!! oh, i like him!! initially, i wanted to give up lit, but then, when i saw such a big improvement for his paper, i've decided to work hard for lit!! i can, i can!! haha, lamez....

there's like so many things to do, yet so little time... i know, i know, we like to say that there's time, it's just how one uses it... i beg to differ, there's really no time... i don't really know what to do.... homework or study?? wow, great choice... hiaz, i don't even know how to start revision...
meeting alota teachers, hopefully, there's a marked improvement in my results!!

hiaz, i guess, alright, i don't really like to say that people don't understand me, it seems like i'm different from everyone else... well, everyone's different, that's undeniable... nevertheless, i feel that if a person tries hard enough to understand u, it means that the person cares, but if the person doesn't care but she understands u... there's a paradox... i think everything lies with me, i'm not the most easy person to get along with, but then, i really appreciate those who can and try to do so.... i'm thankful for all of u... it's just that i find it hard to open up and perhaps, we have different principles... however, is there a need to forget and just leave it?? i don't know... i'm so contradictory... hiaz...

oh, i oso wanna congraulate my friends, hui qi, zhao xiu who did very well for prelims... even though, i say u guys are bian4 tai4, it's a form of endearment... haha, luv ya guys...

hey, yoke: i sorta disagree with u... it really depends on who u wanna type for, well, for me, i believe that it's MY blog, so, those who disagree, u know, it doesn't matter... i shall type what i want... i guess, it really depends...

here's ashlee simpson's new song, will buy the cd if not for only 12 pathetic songs...

ashlee simpson - shadow

I was six years old
When my parents ran away
I was stuck inside a broken life
I couldn't wish away
She was beautiful
She had everything and more
And my escape was hiding out and running for the door

Somebody listen please
It used to be so hard being me

Living in the shadow
Of someone else's dream
Trying to find a hand to hold but every touch felt cold to me
Living in a nightmare
A never-ending sleep
But now that I am wide awake
My chains are finally free
Don't feel sorry for me

All the days collided
One less perfect than the next
I was stuck inside someone else's life and always second best
Oh, I love you now 'cause now I realize
That it's safe outside to come alive in my identity

So if you're listening
There's so much more to me you haven't seen
Living in the shadow
Of someone else's dream
Trying to find a hand to hold but every touch felt cold to me
Living in a nightmare
A never-ending sleep
But now that I am wide awake
Then I can finally be
Don't feel sorry-

Mother, sister, father, sister, mother
Everything's cool now
Mother, sister, father, sister, mother
Everything's cool now
Oh, my life is good
I've got more than anyone should
Oh, my life is good
And the past in the past

I was living in the shadow
Of someone else's dream
Trying to find a hand to hold but every touch felt cold to me
I'm living in a new day
I'm living it for me
And now that I am wide awake
Then I can finally be
Don't feel sorry for me
Don't feel sorry, don't feel sorry for me

Living in, living in, living in the shadow
Living in, living in, living in a new day

fun day

haha... yoke msg me with a bombardment of smses... i couldn't reply fast enough... not my fault!! she cheated!! she used the free sms thingy which requires normal typing!! haha!! so nice, u r always eating nice food!! oh, i like pandas too, but i'm cuter!! *puke* hee!! lamer!!

haha, i feel better today... it has part to do with econs tuition... i really miss the place... in addition, it's kind of nice to get any form of assurance from the teacher (whether false or true)... haha... there's so many people today!! met some primary sch frens... kind of nice!! hiaz, also had a nice talk with hwee min... hey dear, i know u r not reading this, but then, it's nice to have the necessary amt of stress, but then, don't let it overwhelm u... it's not worth it... everyone has their own strengths... studies that are good are weak in other areas... so, cheer up!! and don't think too much!! yar, most imptantly, don't evolve to me... not nice, yar?? haha!!

oh, i forgot to mention that i went venetia(i think it's spelt like that) and had ice-cream!! it's nice!! i ate belgium chocolate and cuppicino... it's not bad... must visit it soon!! i'm such an eater!! haha!!

i'm feeling quite scared... what if i can't meet my own expectations for "A"s... hiaz... life's like that... yar, i think there's no point in disliking someone cos u wouldn't let that someone know... so, really, no point!! haha, crapping!!

yeah!! life's good... oh, i went running!! yeah!! good!!

sad

hiaz, heard bad news all day long today... so this blog is gonna dedicate to my frens... before that, i'll just wanna say... hiaz, been feeling the things i don't wanna feel... but it's all coming back again... i can blame no one... hiaz... friendship... it's always like that... i'm retreating back into the shell that i came out of... i'm half way there... just need a push... yeah!! hiaz...

to pei shan: i need u dearie... u are always the one who will listen to me and take the initiative to help me and be there for me... i can't let u break down. u hear me?? because i believe in u and i know u too... it's just once, cos, u have always done it!! i need u.... we'll help one another...

to lay pheng: hiaz, there are always people like that... take it in ur stride... cos, eventually, think of it practically, u don't need them and u know it... just believe in urself and the people ard u... i like talking to u!! it's very honest!! take care, yar??

to jan: i don't know the exact details or anything... hey, i just know that u know u can... prelims is not everything, and u know it... a moment of weakness can be overcome!! hang in there!! just call any of us... k?? luv ya, take care... in the end, we'll make it...

to yoke hing: thanks for being my fren...

to faith: hey, thanks for always taking the initiative to care for me... i really appreciate it!! have faith dear!! u can!!

finally, to me: always the optimist... the world needs people like that...

overwhelmed!!

hey hey... haha... i'm super overwhelmed today!! firstly, i passed my econs!! ok, they moderated it so that i can get a D... but, without moderation, i still passed!! haha!! i'm super relieved... when i was doing the paper, i was thinking that i would passed... yeah... haha, jo was shocked by my remarks... i got a 6/20 for my DRQ... so, i was saying "how can they give me 6??" haha... jo was like "what did u say?" haha... funny!! i'm so glad!! yeah!! first time, i passed econs!!

history was rather disappointing... ms ng gave me 58 for her paper, which i studied hard and soul for it!! hiaz, but it's alright... my source-based sucks, which serves me rite cos i didn't study for it... haha... she projected that i will get at least a B... hmm, i must try to get an A... i must lah, i must not disappoint her and myself... hiaz... i think mark lo's mad, he gave me 62, it's like, out of the blue... haha... it's nice though... i must try to get A!!

haha... it's a nice day though... me, ailin, jo, xiuz and biquan went to lido for lunch... ate long john's... hee!! quite nice....

zhao xiu: we love u mah... haha!!

just a last note... the prelims are not As, dun fret, just study hard and i believe we can do well together!!