KING KONG

ok, i'm pissed... really... which teenager don't use the com? yes, i'm extreme, so what? then ask me to pay for the electricity bill.... whatever.... i will pay if u ask me, ok.... so i use, everyone uses.... no matter how much or how litte, or whatever purpose, not all is for a credible cuase... so, just lay off my back... sigh... sianz.... sometimes, i wonder, i'm not really causing any harm, why can't let me enjoy? whatever....

been meaning to blog abt KING KONG.... but as usual, was rather distracted... hmm, ok... the movie is kind of full of Peter's Jackson style... slow yet not slow... drawing u into the movie, yet not at the same time... cos, u just wonder when will it all end? not really boring, yet kind of wishing that it will move on... and the female lead, all she does is just scream, scream and scream.... the dialouge could have more improvements... well, despite many complaints, it's an enjoyable movie, really worth the ticket price... so, go catch it!!!

sch is starting.... sigh sigh sigh... yes, i'm a lazy bum.... not bad that yoke and i have the same marketing class... yay!!!! hmm, sucky, can't get the timetable she wants... back to sch, is rather kind of sianz... and not really looking forward to it, but don't really have a choice either... i want to keep to my promise of mugging real hard, so kind of can't maple for long... sigh, gonna miss the ppl i met during the hols... sigh.... what to do? this is life....

actually, just remembered some stuff that i wanna blog, but somehow just swept off my mind... one is the presentation that liyan brought me to... it's actually a training programme for ppl to improve their ppl skills and gain their confidence... this company is a networking company in the sense that u bring and intro more ppl to attend their programme... i'm keen on it, but it's expensive and that i can see how the people has changed after going through this programme... for one, the guy who made the presentation, he's and econs undergraduate from NUS... well, he's a nerd, those kind who doesn't speak, quiet kind... and now, he has all the confidence to fulfill his dreams, and his goals are more clear.. the programme does that to u... perhaps, u think i'm easily influence by some presentation... but i guess, u just know when things are for real and which are not... they have investments in certain areas... sigh, i wanna go, but no $$$$... see how ba...

yeah... we are frens... hmm... nothing to say.. we are frens...

the year is ending, and perhaps i should give some reflections abt what happen during the year... tomorrow, yes, i shall do that... the last day of enjoyment before sch is gonna start... to all, HAPPY NEW YEAR!!!!

a usual day

gotta plan the timetable soon... sigh... one of the things to do before school starts... i sound like a lazy bum?? probably i'm one.... well, not probably, i am one... haha... it's just plain honesty... i hope i get to attend lessons with yoke! otherwise, i'll be bored to tears!! or rather, scary... no familiar faces... that's really life rite?? sigh... ok... life's like that....

gonna go watch king kong tmr... and i'm counting down to when sch starts, which is, hiaz...

ok, sad entry, keep sighing...

yoke's back!!! yay! hope she's not angry with me....

okies.... happy timetable planning tmr for me!

the chronicles of narnia: the lion, the witch and the wardrobe

i went to watch the chronicles of narnia!!!! it's a damn nice movie!! don't know why my sis says it's draggy... didn't find it abt draggy at all.... well, perhaps, they could use prettier leads?? haha... compared to the guys, hmm, the gals are abit...? haha... peter is cute!! in a blur way... his acting is not good enough though... but i like the set.... all the different characters were very real, and the animals talking were not fake at all!!! the loyalty between the characters is the whole theme of the movie... and the way the magic of narnia surrounds the whole story, is just so astounding, makes u wonder abt the real world we live in, which is not really great.... haha... nice!!! pls go watch!!!

been mapling the whole day... sad life i have? haha, it's alright i guess, i can do stuff like read my text books, i've tried, 2 pages?? haha.... sigh, i really wish sch doesn't have to start, because i really don't wanna go sch... in the sense that all the projects, and more distractions... the main thing i have to face, is my sad resume...? hiaz, so many things to consider and think... i really don't feel like thinking all of this... and the people i have to face? project mates and all, and projects... sigh... aargh!!! nowadays, when i wake up, i have a heavy heart..... really sigh!!!!hiaz... it's life isn't it??

i've been trying to be nice to ppl... esp. my grandma... i don't mean to be rude, but sometimes, i don't feel like talking, so will be not responding, which is not very good at all... sigh, i have to try better... they are more important than anything....

ook, enough, of sad comments... live on!

one of my bros... haha.... guys... destroyed my christmas tree!! maple christmas was nice!

up till now, maple christmas is only spent with D... but no fret... someone's coming!

i like dancing on stars!!!

MY CHRISTMAS!! nice tree?? haha....

merry christmas!

i have a happy day... albeit a bit tired... but nevertheless, a happy, enjoyable and fun day!!! its not everyday that i get to have such a nice day.... i really hope and wish that everyday wld be like that, but it's highly impossible... but what the heck, people are always wishing that impossible things will happen... so, i'm gonna wish for it too... haha.... and the only thing that spoils this day is my mum's attitude... seriously, dunno what's wrong with her... well, for one thing, she's definitely unpredictable...

i went swimming today!!! with my cousins!! well, they are so much younger then me, and u know, kids, they have no innibitions at all.. so, it's rather nice! they tire me out though.... haha.... played ball with them.... sorta celebrating my cousin's bday! the food's not really that great though.... but then, had nice cake, and chocolates!! so, overall, not that bad... haha, luckily, no major fights or anything.... that's good!!

that's all, have not been blogging for a long time, cos, not many nice stuff happen these few days.... hopefully, everyday's nice!!!

MERRY CHRISTMAS TO ALL!!!

dim sum treat

i went for dim sum buffet at china square today... it was not bad, the only thing which is kind of sickening is that the variety is quite limited, so eating the same kind of treats most of the time... but i rather enjoyed the chicken legs!!! one of my fav dishes!! the pity is such that not all the family members were there... sigh... it would be much better....

i'm broke again... bought too much stuff... haha, not really all are practical... some are impulse stuff... sigh... gals, seldom buy stuff but when i buy, i really do buy... must cut down, save some money....

hmm... i'm over the results thing... i mean, well, just work hard next sem, give it my all.... i did not do it for this sem, so, have to really really mug hard next sem... sigh, discovered that the biz law guy is in most of my tutorials... well, i really have no choice but to deal with the situation... that is not to be dumb... i mean, sigh, i will try harder next sem, to get on better with the tutorial ppl... it's not gonna be easy for me, well, i have no choice but to try... and hope that projects will pass by smoothly....

glad that things between me and my twin sis are getting better... i will try... and hopefully, no more quarrels in the future...

went out with my younger sis ytd... haha, buy so many things.... owe me $$$ too.... haha....

yoke is in malaysia... sigh... no more online mate for awhile...

ok.... hmm... i was kind of shocked, not really shocked, but pleasantly surprised when he asked me if i'm in a good mood... hmm, not many ppl can sense it, esp. online... so, it was rather nice.... and, i'm glad that he did not ask me for my results, tt would have really marred my opinion of him... and once again, i was pleasantly surprised when he asked me why am i not slping and replied that he was waiting for me to slp... hmm, i was mapling, so did not immediately reply... and he did not say anything, and when i thought of a reply he replied tt he was joking... so, i am not even sure if he really cares or?? haha... it's really fine for me... just kind of funny and nice in a way...

back to mapling!!! cannot let my buddies scold me anymore!!!

cried

for all the talk i have made piror to my results, during my exams and all, i deserve everything i get... i wanna lash out and scold ppl, i'm not in a good mood, and i wanna cry now.... i would, yeah, later... when i slp... after a good cry, i wld probably feel better.... yeah. i would.

i dunno why? all i ever did is not good enough... it's never, will never, and will never be.... everything is my fault.... everytime... u have high expectations for me... i really can't fufill them all... i've tried, u know... i just sometimes want to be who i am.... i'm trying not to be selfish... i'm trying for alot of things... it's just is not enough.... everytime, it's like this... how long are u gonna stay angry at me? how long are u gonna accuse me of the same things over and over again? how many times are u gonna try to understand me? how? i really don't know what to do... everything that happens at home, is my fault... i've try not to let things get to me... it's not easy, to be always put down... yeah, so i've become defensive... unfeeling... i've done so much to achieve this, and i know it's not right... so, i don't even know who i am right now...

leave it? maybe that's what i will in the end... i will just do what i can... and hope things turn out fine... acceptance of anger, that's what i am and that's who i am.... and, i can't be what u want me to be... just wanna let u know, i do have my own life, which i hope u can try to understand.... i do try to understand, but u don't wanna care anymore... it's just so easy to say FINE, let's forget everything and sever all ties.... i don't really wanna say, except that, i can't be the one always giving, trying to make amends, when I'M THE ONLY ONE WHO THINKS THERE'S A PROBLEM? sigh... i don't know what to say...

u are sick and tired... perhaps we need to talk....but then, i've tried... and, yeah...

i will work hard next sem... i will not put my foot where my mouth is... i will and i have to...

results.... sigh

first thing first, results are not out yet.... well, my feelings for it are rather filled with anticipation, not so that i expect i would do very well, but in fact, just get the results, and that's it... the results did not mar my enjoyment of the hols, but it would be nice not to be in a state of uncertainty... the constant checking of the website for any information... sigh... just give it to me...

i agree with yoke, that finding a boyfren is seemingly desperate.... well, how much can i say abt this? i don't even have any experience... but this whole interaction with the opposite sex, well, it's rather unusual for me... in the sense, that i seldom talk to males... not by purpose but rather by circumstances.... i have very little male frens, bringing out a lot of things that i've never know before... so, it sounds rather pathetic rite? well, it really doesn't matter to me...

the whole point in bringing out this issue is that i'm sick and tired of being something that they used me for.... only looking for me when they wanna tell me something, talk to me when they wanna play game with me.... and when i asked them to help me, it's like i'm taking away their life or something... suxs... they think it's nothing much, well, gals do think alot... and i'm tired of being used, being taken advantage of... and i totally resent being reminded of "i told u so" when i'm already quite sad over things... and i hate being called "hey ger", or whatever variations... well, u don't know me, and i don't know u.... so it's really fair... but what the heck, it's only a game.... anyway, such things don't matter to guys at all, so whatever.... i can think like them too... everything is much simpler....

hiaz, by now, i have gotten back my results... in a nutshell, it suxs like shit.... well, it's only an average, that means, my results are average, so super average that u can't imagine how average it is.... kind of afraid it's gonna affect my overall results in the end... the thing is, i don't even know where to fault myself for? yes, ok, i did study, to the best, for some subjs, like biz law... so, it's kind of, like wtf? i don't really care abt the others, just fearful for my overall in the end... that i'm really like not on par with the rest.... aargh!!!! i deserve this kind of results to a large extent, not gonna deny the fact that i didn't really throw myself into studying for almost everything, but i understand and all, and freaking did my best!!! so what's wrong? i'm that bad?

sigh, twin sis says it's the first sem, mz says i did fine... but then, by the overall standard, i feel i did not... and i don't even know what's the problem? sigh... the only thing i can do now is to promise myself that i will do better next sem... i mean, there's really nothing i can do right now... seriously, i'm fine, yet not... i don't know how to describe the feeling... it's like, i really did what i can, and the final product is? aargh!! sigh, it's over... yes, it's over... thanks for all who is asking me am i alright or not... i hope i am, i know, eventually i wld be.... so thanks...

thanks mz man, i dunno why, u can always cheer me up... seriously, thanks for making me feel so much better....

sigh

my leg hurts like shit!!!! haha, cos, i wore heals and shop... it really hurts.... hiaz, something's wrong with my legs lar... probably due to the lack of use... haha... we went to farrer park, race course road or something like that.... to buy my sis's beads.... walk and walk... my feet almost can't make it... we then headed to town after that, with my mum and sis.... we went far east, where we looked at more beads... hmm.... learnt quite a few things abt stones... quite interesting....

went to mango... the thing abt sales at mango is that there's so many ppl to the extent that u can't do anything properly, like finding the stuff u want....

sigh.... sigh... sigh....

i really don't know what to say, except that u have made me v unhappy... don't know what's wrong between us... u are really petty... and really, whatever

mislead me, fine...

went out to celebrate yu sui's bday today!!! we went xing le.... this restaurant selling ramen... it wasn't very nice, perhaps, i chose the wrong one.... hiaz.... but i had a nice time chatting with my frens.... hui qi, hwee min and yu sui... we then headed for hui qi's hse and played mahjong and bridge!!! haha, i didn't win any at mahjong, and i won a bit at bridge... no matter what, it was fun!! hopefully, we get to meet up again.... the feeling is different somehow, when u hang out with different ppl...

i then went to raffles shopping centre to mango after visiting my sister's tailor... there's so many ppl! i really hate crowds!!! hard to find what u want... then we headed to raffles to meet my aunt, where we had this really really nice fried fish and sotong!! i really love that stall!

my aunty then wanted to go chinatown, and so we went... hmm, we visited the shop to buy my sis's beads... and then went shopping! my aunty bought a skirt for me... well, she wanted to pay for it... thanks! haha... can save a bit of money...

ok, the reason for blogging today is not really to talk abt my day... it's abt, well, him.... and i don't really know what u want from me.... u are the one who always initiates the conversation... ok, so i reply, like any other human being.... and u purposely wanted to talk to me and tell me abt ur day, so, i listen.... yes, and i'm super available to u, so, u are taking things for granted right? i don't know, and seriously don't care.... and yesterday's conversation was quite in depth, well, i was super fine with it... and, the thing is, i don't know why u ask me those questions, and i choose to think it's just like a normal conversation... and it is? well, i'm quite pissed... i'm not ur whatever, u can't just ask me why am i online or offline... its just, really, none of ur biz? yoke doesn't ask me, what right u have? fuck off lar...

and today, i choose to head hwee min's advice, don't let u take me for granted, and u come and greet me with that msg before going offline... WHAT IS THE MEANING OF THAT? it's also none of ur biz why i wanna put brb.... it's my life ok, i don't have to answer u at all... i'm sick and tired of playing catch with u... i caught the right feeling, and i let it go cos it's not really clear? anyway, u are still hung over that gal, and if u choose to use it to mislead me, u have succeeded... congrats man.... i don't really care.... WHAT I CARE ABT IS THAT I DON'T LIKE U ASKING ME ALOT ABT ME K... i don't owe u an explanantion.... and don't think that every gal will like u, well, happens that i don't really care...

my mum and sis says, if i don't care abt him, don't talk to him too much.... he has a motive... everyone has a motive for confiding so much... the thing is, well, i talk to yoke everyday, almost, and i choose to infer the relationship as that.... u don't wanna make it clear? so do i.... cos, i'm over the questioning for myself... whatever lar....

just, fuck off...

sleepy

i'm super tired now!!! truly, perhaps i should go take a nap.... but i don't like naps... ok?? i'm a bit mad lar... haha.... don't think we shld waste time on slping... haha.... so, trying hard not to fall asleep now... been slping late these days, mapling, cos my sis is using till late too.... so, i accompany her... yes, it's true... not that i just maple only... haha... she bought this ring watch for me... i love it!!! and mango has sale now, hopefully, wld be able to get their jeans... just love them to bits!

hmm, maple is full of disgusting ppl!! my little bro, who's super nice!! got scammed 3 times! damn it! why can't these ppl just play fairly?? it's really disgusing... no repsecting game codes.... real bad!!!

gonna do my christmas cards later... haha... yes, i do do stuff other than maple...

i think i've sorta figured out how i feel towards everything.... well, at least him.... the reason i am feeling sorta numb, and trying not to feel is because of the other relationship experience i have... i'm afraid that if i start building my dreams around u now, i would get nothing in return like the other time.... i'm not seeing alot of things now, things that may be obvious, but i treat it as not... there's a choice in this matter, that i see it or not see it... it was damn tiring and ridiculous through my experience to be waiting for nothing.... i don't even know what this is, so, i just do nothing abt it, and it's really, i don't know.... bad in a way, cos, i don't even know what i feel... hiaz... sianz....

eyes are closing, but not gonna sleep, gonna go play badminton later... yay!!!! haha, hope that i have a nice time later.... oh, and made an online date with mz.... haha, crapz lor, msg me just because he's bored in sch.... haaha, i'm always that avaliable.... so long....

chicken little

hmm, am i self-centred? haha, i think i am... i wld not deny it.... the thing is, i feel i deserve to be sometimes... i need to be free from everything... i'm quite sick of just doing what everybody expects... why can't i change? be myself sometimes... show some attitude... the thing is, i'm tired, sad of not being appreciated and being used as a bin for all the scoldings... it may not mean anything... then why do it? that's kind of silly rite? whatever.... just be myself, that's my ultimate aim... i hope i can achieve that....

went to watch chicken little today... it's not a bad movie.... showing parent-child relationship.... hmm, i like this kind of movies, cos, it's usually very honest in the end, not like the usual kind of parent-child relationship in Asian families... esp. mine... i envy those whose parents love their child wholly and not for the sake of returned investment in the future.... that's kind of difficult, ain't it? brought my cousins there.... 6 of them to be exact... i don't know if it's me or something, i really can't stand kids... yes, i was one in the past.... but they are so naughty, noisy, disobedient... it's kind of hard to bring up one rite? i was very irritated with them... perhaps, i should not be so... will try harder, but it's difficult... i'm known to be fierce to them.... yes, i should relax...

went town with peishan after that... real sorry that i have to sorta abandon her in orchard... sorry dear! it's fun to shop with peishan, cos she can't make up her mind!!! haha.... let's go out soon!

went to cityhall to meet twin sis after that... she introduced me to this dim sum at the food court! it's not bad!!!! quite nice... we then went to buy christmas cards... then headed to starbucks for their christmas peppermint drink... not that bad at all... haha... think i shall not slp so early tonight... oooh, she bought ring watch for me... thanks dear! muacks!

hmm, yoke is so lucky!! went out with 9 jap guys!! haha.... don't fall too hard and forget me, kk!

she showed me a very interesting msn conversation.... well, he's making it obvious? hmm, yoke thinks so... i really have no idea... i'm just letting nature takes it's course... if it's meant to be... God will see to it.... if it's not.... God will have better plans for me.... haha, tt's why i have a nice time this hols... not thinking abt anything....

mapling is fun now!!! meet nice ppl who give me stuff to help me along the way... and my dear, he wanted to give me all his stuff.... that's damn sweet! poor thing, he was bullied... hiaz, sometimes, ppl has to be sensitive online.... not everything is a joke man....

okies, gonna stay at home tmr! will go jogging!!! fat ass!

another sad day

it really sounds bad, i don't want to hate my dad, but sometimes, he doesn't help it much, making me hate him more and more.... perhaps, hate is too strong a word, as i simply don't feel anything towards him, not even hate... just a quiet resignation that things will not change at all, and will stay the way it is... why can't he see that being rude to me? or even ignoring me... throwing his temper at me... is just so childish and stupid, cos, i don't fucking give a damn.... why bother? yes, perhaps, u should ask me why am i not understanding towards him? how long do u want me to understand? i think understanding between 2 ppl, should be based on mutual understanding, he doesn't bother, why should i?

she's your mother, just because i didn't take things to her, changing it to today, where u are free, and u want to find fault with me.... yes, i didn't do things for u, the thing is, i have stuff to do at home, and i don't feel like going out.... and u want to scold me for? for helping u to not visit your mother? go figure.... there's really nothing wrong in visiting my grandma rite? i know.... the thing is, i don't know how to explain it.... hiaz....

the thing is, i'm sick and tired of everything... yes, i use the computer to play games, so what? i like it... i don't play all day and not lift a finger in the household... who are u to say that i don't help/bother or anything... there's no grounds for your argument, ok? so u are losing... life anyway, is not abt winning and losing for me... if you really think that u are winning or whatever by giving me attitude, so be it.... be petty, whatever, hiaz, let u win, kk...

i don't know why, but i feel like getting drunk suddenly, so i went to buy this bicardi thing... haha, of course i know it's not enough to make me drunk, so i bought it for fun.... anyway, getting drunk is not me... now, a bit woozy, heck care lar... just feeling quite down with lots of things....

it's not funny or whatever that i have to talk to u everynight... come and question me for what... yes, perhaps i'm just being picky or whatever... so be it.... i'm not your girlfriend, kk.... sianz....

hiaz....

i am so stupid

i have alot of things to blog abt, first thing first it's abt ppl and maple... i don't expect anyone to have the same ideas as me when i play any game, but i believed in playing fairly... and nice... i have always been well, nice to eveyone online, naive perhaps, i've never expected anyone to scam me... it's not really abt the game that i really really enjoy so much, it's something that i've worked towards, and i'm pissed that i can't do what i want now.... in addition, the items are given to me by my sister and frens, and they are all gone now... it's really the network of ppl that i trust in the game.... aargh!!!! don't ask me how i got scammed, it sounds really stupid.... the thing is, i will not let him play in peace either... u will get your retribution stupid idoit....

the frens are nice... and i'm thankful for them... hiaz.... offer to give me stuff and defame that freak... but what's the point? in a happier note, luckily, this is not real life... i've really learnt my lesson, i'm not gonna trust anyone at all... strangers beware... so stupid of me really

i thought that perhaps we understand each other somewhat... so it's quite disappointing that you don't... so what if we chat for so long? so what? perhaps this may be just a game to u, but it's more to me... yes, i don't wanna come online because i don't really feel like talking to u anymore... it's all the usual stuff and i don't wanna know more... what's the point? u throw alot of stuff at me... i'm not expected to share them with u, k... so just really, i don't know.... hiaz...

glad that u msg me even after i appeared offline... didn't really wanna talk abt it, but glad that u cared.....

damn, i feel so stupid

broke!

hmm, had a pounding headache... haha, but it has disappeared now!! hope it doesn't come back anymore... usually has it when i have insufficient sleep... well, mapling into the twilight hours is not exactly sufficient slp when my mum hollers at me to wake up before 10 in the morning.. it's quite a sad life to have in the hols... well, that's life... it ain't perfect....

hmm, i treated my mum and sis to fish and co today.... hmm, had the seafood platter for the first time today... its seriously not that bad, except that i'm super full!!! haha.... my mum had some stingray thing... which, she said is not that bad... however, we had to wait quite long, which was a downer... hmm... we went OG to shop... and i bought my first dress in, 8 years!! omg, i hope i will wear it man... bought a top too, which i absloutely love it!! kudos to my twin sis man, pointing out so much stuff that i would normally turn a blind eye to...

been trying to find the perfect shoes for me, but i have not found it yet... sianz... i really hope to buy one before school starts... i don't wanna walk barefooted!!!! there's something abt staying at home for too long... i start to think that there's actually very little people in the world, so along orchard, it's too noisy for me... that's why, i think i had the headache... damn, i hate places with many people...

hmm, gonna go maple soon, yes, i do always end off with that... hmm, hope to lvl up by tonight!

aeon flux

went to watch aeon flux today.. charlie theron is damn pretty and cool! her bod is hot!! haha... it's not a bad movie, it's quite confusing though, the storyline... an easier one would be more enjoyable... i enjoyed it, particularly the scientific stuff... it's the usual fluff where the ppl are caught between being clones or being real, living life once... not a bad moral of the story...

been mapling for almost the whole day... didn't realise the time when i maple... mapled until 3 plus last night.... haha, and woke up at 930 today... i was real tired, groggy the whole day... anyway, my fault too, cos, i like to maple if there's ppl to maple with me.... haha... not that boring anyway... think i can stand many hrs without slping, unlike D, cannot make it, went to nap in the noon.... haha... hiaz.... i really hate myself sometimes.... really really do...

quite tired still.... blur in the head... oh, jh did something nice today... i appeared offline cos i've decided to go mapling... wished him goodnight and all... and he msged me telling me he had no chance to say goodbye to me... haha.... first time someone actually wld do that, and u ask me if i'm wondering there's more to it? hmm, don't care ba... so sianz...

teaching piano tmr... also sianz.. haha... okies! back to mapling!

dental app day

went for my dental app today... yay! the doc says there's no relapse!! so the bones did not move!! yay! cos for a while, i was quite afraid that the bones will move.... was quite stressed abt it!

oh, and this medical officer, don't know admin stuff, nurse or doc... but can't be doc ba, look at me when i walked in, and looked at me when i walked out... omg, don't like ppl to look at me... i noticed, cause it's damn obvious... he was even looking at me when i was in the doc's room... mad...

went causeway with my younger sis after that... make me wait for her for more than an hr!! naughty gal! haha... i went to read this book abt the flesh trade at popular... quite sad.... tell more next time.... bought my anastasia cd finally! luv it already!

ok, going to maple now....

chatting online

suddenly just feel like blogging... i was just mentioning to a very sianz yoke, well, ann here is equally sianz too... that, i think being married is actually very boring... so do u whare your life with someone forever? u mean there's so much things to talk abt? u see each other everyday, share ur lives together... and, how to stay in love for long? wouldnt one get bored?

ok, i'm bored... cos, perhaps, u make me think too much, stuff that i don't wanna think abt... future and all... and the more u pull me into your life, the more i wanna get out... i don't know why, and i feel guilty, so i tell u more stuff... and i got a feeling that this is gonna get deeper and deeper... don't get me wrong, i'm not trying to push away a friendship or anything... just that this friendship is happening too fast... by normal standards too... i don't see a need to chat everynight... ok, so when we talk, we get to know abit of the other... so, by now, we should know each other very well? yes, get what i mean, a friendship by this rate is too fast.... perhaps, ppl just have an affinity with one another... but it's too personal, i'm not really comfortable with it... well, i'm usually quite protective of myself... and i hate it when ppl professes to understand u, when actually, they don't at all... aargh!! irritating...

results are coming out... just really hope that i don't do badly...

mz, aargh! irritates me like crazy... haha, but nice to crap with...

cannot maple, damn sianz....

mahjoing first

i went to yusui's house today and play mahjong... aargh!! its my first time playing, and i definitely had beginners' luck... won some games.... hmm, i'm quite slow, not really used to playing... had seen before, but never play.... hope the rest are not irritated by it... quite fun, but perhaps not very good at it, so no inclination to play... lost 8 bucks in chips, which was quite funny... really have beginners' luck... poor hui qi, she hurt her leg, and had much difficulty in walking.... and she's going hongkong... hope that she recovers in time!

went to jack's place for lunch today... quite sucky the service there... waited for quite some time... but there's this nice waiter who is not bad... the student meal is not esp. nice.... but, not bad lar, for cheap food...

hmm, gonna try to stay at home lar... later mum scold and scold... sianz... maple lor...

walking with yoke!

i went out with yoke today!!! we did alot of walking!!! walking and more walking!!! haha, it was fun, chatting along the way... we ate chicken rice, which is not bad.... we made a boo-boo, took the shuttle bus from chinatown and great world city, then to cityhall.... went suntec to find the cup for yoke's grandma but could not find it... yes, i'm a monkey... haha.... we then went to bugis, managed to find her cup there!!! yes, and i've upgraded to an ape!!! haha... it was nice, and i met her brother too... hmm.... nice, nice.... see when we can go cycling!!

my legs are aching now, and i've decided to postpone ironing to tomorrow... haha... cannot make it anymore.... nvm, it's good exercise!!! and yoke, we are really frens. nothing more, hmm, know that you are skeptical abt it... but i can assure u at 100%, nothing will happen between us... yes, i'm that sure.... hope that we can all enjoy our days presiding to our results!!

hiaz, my twin sis has met a damn teacher who is against her... it's very unprofessional of a teacher to be so bias... perhaps, it's not, and that my sis is doing not well, but the thing is, even her frens feel that the teacher is picking on her... what does that say? hiaz, really don't need this kind of shit at year 3....

kind of a boring life i have right now, but i enjoy going out... when i do get out, it's good, so that i will not maple so much, which is bad for the eyes.... thanks for going out with me!! going to yusui's house to play mahjong withn hui qi tmr... haha... maybe i can learn something useful, cny is coming....

going to eat fruits now... i will have fun tmr!

omg, airport, sianz

just came back from expo and the airport... went to the airport in the morning for the arrival of my dad from bahrain... well, it was very early, and i was so pissed at my mum... she woke me up at 730 and expected me to get ready by 8.. come on, i'm not u, how can u base your expectations on me to be ready when u r? at then, she started scolding me... i was so freaking pissed that i did not want to speak to her at all!!!!! then on the way there, she also commented on me, again... whatever.... but then, me being me, i ignored everything, and everything is alright now... sianz... as usual, hiding behind everything... all those thoughts just stuck inside... as usual.... whatever lar...

i think i'm a sad woman... i don't like shopping, i don't hate it but i don't really like it... and when i buy things, i don't usually sift through all the prices for the best bargain, and go all out to find a cheaper one, but rather, if it's expensive, i don't buy, cheap i buy... have, means have, don't have means don't have... haha.... kind of sad, shopping at the john little sale with my mum was boring, cos, i don't really know what to buy... which is sianz... and my legs were quite tired.... haha....

i'm really glad u take the effort to let me know what's going on in your life... it's comforting to know that i can really make another good fren... kind of surprising, to find one in uni... haha... i'm glad for the frens i have now, yoke, hwee min, hui qi, peishan... and my sisters! so, getting to know ppl is a challenge for me, getting closer to someone is another step for me... the point is, i'm glad i dare to walk the path...

that's all, i will lvl up by tonight!

a sunday

have just finished the star awards.... it's quite boring, the show this year... and zoe tay? wow, she really changes my perspective of her.... haha....

ok, kids are irritating, and maple is flooding of them... i can't stand them anymore, and i swear i'm gonna kill this kid if he hounds me again... come on, i'm not ur fren, and i'm 19, not 12.... why must i do so much for u? crazy, u better don't hound me anymore... irritating.... can't stand it... well, probably, i encourage him, helping and answering his questions, well, there's a limit to my patience... too bad...

moped the floor today... i really hate moping the floor, make me so, aargh!! hiaz, whatever lar...

hope my coming week is fruitful...

tired

i hate u for making me think of u again... sux... sux... sux... haha, i'm glad that it's not as bad as the other time... it's a good sign! yay!

went bugis with my twin sis today... it was quite fun! had nice food, prata and fried dumplings... nice ice cream, dark chocolate, which really burned my throat... can't find the shoes i wanna buy, went PS... and still don't have my size.. hiaz, soon, i'll have to go barefooted... haha....

think i'm quite impatient sometimes.... selfish even... well, everyone's everything, only depending on the extent of it... hiaz... life goes on...

i'm very tired, iron clothes from 930 to 11 today at night.. tired, but gonna maple... life is mapling... sad? not really, cos, i do go out too... haha, so long!

a nice day

hmm, i was mapling as usual, when i received a msg... it was from jh, well, and he asked me out to lunch... haha, well, i was surprised, quite surprised, because it was unexpected... if it was the old me, i would have declined, but i accepted, don't really know why i did... haha, so we went to the foodcourt at raffles shopping centre for lunch... i was late, as usual... haha.... hmm.... it was comfortable company, and i felt really at ease... the thing is, i didn't do much talking, i don't really open up myself, until i absolutely trust the other party... well, it's not that i don't trust him, but rather, i'm afraid... he did prompt me to talk, but i did not really want to elaborate... i guess i'm afraid of getting hurt... no matter what, frens or otherwise, the fear is there... probably, because of sec sch... the thing is, if he really do see me in that way, give me time? if not, then, as frens even, i need time... i need time to trust, i'm sorry, but i really do...

went to meet peishan after that!! haha, full of laughs!!! so nice!!! hmm, we sat at starbucks, one of our frequent joints to sit and talk... take care, kk.... it's the hols!! don't think of the bad stuff!!!

after that, we to meet my twin sis at causeway point... we had pasta for dinner!! have not eaten it for long le... haha... it was yummy!!

kk, going to maple le... nitez!

zathura

i went to watch zathura at tampines mall with my twin sis yesterday... hmm, it was an, well, alright movie... i think the director could afford to make it more scary and action-packed though, as it is an action movie... wow, the kids' eyes were beautiful!!! big and speaking... haha.... though i did not really enjoy the show, well, a movie's a movie... so, generally, not bad at all....

came home and maple... as usual... and, i was helping D to transfer stuff between his characters... and, imagine, i spoke to a stranger on the phone for the first time in my life... well, a stranger and yet not a stanger, know what i mean? hiaz, his voice does not match his looks... what a disappointment... haha... crapz... anyway, yupz... and i went mapling with a 12-year old kid today... he's lucky i'm in a good mood, cos, he's quite irritating, asking and asking.... as i said, haha, i was in a good mood....

went for a wedding dinner last night, well, i hate dinners whereby they invite all those important guests... we have to wait for the important guests to arrive, lenghthy introductions by the host, and more waiting for the food... aargh!! a consolation was that my table only has 7 ppl, so can eat alot.. haha....

hiaz... boring life i have...

meeting peishan tmr!! yay!