Friday, May 20, 2005

Your Inner European is Irish!

Sprited and boisterous!
You drink everyone under the table.

Wednesday, May 18, 2005

alone in the office

since morning, i've been in the SPH News Centre, using my boss's boss's laptop to surf the internet... CORRECTION!! haha, actually, i've been trying to retrieve a document from hotmail, but it failed... i was quite desperate, asking my boss to send me another email, yet it could not open... so for one whole morning, i was wasting time for abt an hour... then, i thought of another new idea, which is to forward the mail to my sis's account... in case, u r wondering how i get to download the file, i can guess her password... haha... but then, since i was alone in the office, i started to read the past entries of my blog and surfed the net here and there... luckily, i managed to do a bit of the work as i still have to report to my boss at the end of the day!!! sianz....

right now, what i'm doing has been very interesting... i'm in the corporate restruction/recovery department... closing sph mediaworks ltd's account... my boss, lena, is intent on teaching me stuff that she's supposed to do, which i'm grateful for... i've been chasing debts, which is not easy as i have to call all the company owning $$ to chase.. there was once, this guy asked me if i'm new which i replied sort of... haha, it was quite funny.... i have to be fierce, which, given my status, i don't feel like throwing my weight in the office, when talking loudly to coere them into paying... haha, maybe i should... i even have a file where i have to initial so that to confirm the status of my work... it's a little stressful, as i have to make sure that everything is in order...

right now, i'm poring through the contracts which have not been novated... sianz ah... hafta read properly, as i have to summarise the contracts... actually, this task is supposed to be completed by the intern, but then, another manager asked him to help him, so i'm alone... the intern is from NUS, doing BBA... he's always complaining that NUS sux and all that excitement abt establishment and presteige abt he business sch is crap... he told me that SMU offers a much better business degree... there's also another intern from SMU doing acc... i heard from the NUS guy, who heard from the NUS guy that NTU's acc course is very good, that SMU is so-so... guess, that this is my final choice, NTU... my uncle says i'm boring, going the traditional uni... i beg to differ, i just wanna go to the sch which can offer me the best education conditions.... finally, made my choice....

i guess, all the point i'm making abt my experience now, in working is that i'm super lucky, to be able to get hands-on on what i'm studying.... i don't want to play down this importance, which i used to, in the months ago, because of personal reasons... i'm real thankful... haha, i'm not good with words... anyway, my tution kids' results quite the funny.... the smarter cousin got almost the same marks as the normal standard one... quite pissed lar, like i'm not good... k, trying to find out if i can teach mah... hiaz... a teacher of mine once commented that the parents always blame the teacher if anything goes wrong... so... just trying to prove a point??

hmm... when i saw him, i was filled with a rush of warmness.... only interacted with u for 3 days... u r much older too.... so, kind of weird... haha, no chance lar... just wanna remember this moment...

i used to put a song after every entry, in the past, gonna start again.... haha, when i know how to use the laptop properly...

nothing, i feel will ever make someone tire of it... i just feel that one is trying to hide by ending smething...? who knows.... bye~!

Friday, May 13, 2005


promises... so many made in once life... it's kind of sad, esp. the promises made by frens who matter. i guess, i was wrong abt u... seriously wrong. it's ok, i don't feel much, except for a hint of regret. glad that my dad guide me along in what i thought abt u. i don't even have the necessary words to defend u, cos, what he said was what i thought, just that i don't want to see the reality of it. it's over. sometimes, i wonder if i'm stupid or what. but then, what's life without feeling stupid. disappointment.... maybe i have no right to feel this way or u are feeling like that too... i guess, we have to blame overselves... for having no guts to grab it, nurture it.... well, time has already tell so much, i'm glad it's now not later.... goodbye, to u.... once, it's enough, fortunate to know u, yet, fortunate enough to let go.... goodbye.... we will not regret it, goodbye....

spice girls - goodbye

No no no no, no no no no, no no no no
Listen little child there will come a day when you will be able, able to say,
nevermind the pain, all the aggrevation,
you know there's a better way for you and me to be
Look for the rainbow in every storm,
Fly like an angel heaven sent to me

Goodbye my friend, (I know your going searching although I can still feel ya here)
It's not the end, (You gotta keep it strong before the pains turn into fears)
So glad we made it, time will never change it
no no no no no no no

Just a little love, Big imagination,
Never let no one take it away,
Went into the world (into the world)
What a revelation, She found there's a better way for you and me to be
Look for the rainbow in every storm,
Find out for certain love is gonna be there for you,
You'll always be someone's baby

Goodbye my friend, (I know your going searching although I can still feel ya here)
It's not the end, (You gotta keep it strong before the pain turns into fears)
So glad we made it, time will never change it
no no no No no no no
You know its time to say goodbye
No no no no

The times when we would play about,
The way we used to scream and shout,
We never dreamt you'd go your own sweet way
Look for the rainbow in every storm,
Find out for certain love is gonna be there for you,
You'll always be someone's baby

Goodbye my friend, (I know your going searching although I can still feel ya here)
It's not the end, (You gotta keep it strong before the pain turns into fears)
So glad we made it, time will never never ever change it
No no no no
You know it's time to say goodbye
No no no no
And don't forget you can rely
No no no no
You know it's to say goodbye,
And don't forget on me you can rely
No no no no
I will help you help you on your way
No no no no
I will help you everyday
No no no no
[Repeat to fade]


currently, it's lunch time... hiaz, sometimes, i really wonder if it's a blessing to be able to be alone or with people.... alone in the office am i, with nobody to lunch with... so, it's kind of lonely, having to eat alone.... but then, my boss is not around, i don't feel like eating with her colleagues, as... well, it's kind of hard to say whether they are alright with me, but it's kind of like being nice to me for the sake of my boss... so, yeah, me being nice to them, cos, i'm nice... haha, it's just that, there's no point in ruffling unruffled feathers.... hence, lunch alone... it's nice, as i don't have to think of what to say... just being alone.... can surf the net, while eating, cool....

hmm... i guess, everyone is frustrated with the thought of not knowing which uni to go... hmm, i've made my choice, ntu... i should not be changing.... discovered alota frens going there... hwee min, geraldine, xin yi, yoke yun.... some bp schoolmates i rather not mention... well, if friends are a deciding factor, NO... my aunt and uncle prefer smu to ntu, saying that they would better equipped me with the necessary conditions for job interviews.... hmm, i feel that all unis will do that... and that, one's capability is measured against one's confidence.... well... i don't know... but, Ntu should be it...

anyway, nothing much is happening... good, yet bad, boring life... haha, just hope that life would be more fruitful in time to come....

Friday, May 06, 2005


the whole day
like in the ocean
tight, struggling to maintain normalcy
it was mildly comforting.

meat cleaver in my head
how i turn
makes no difference
bed is no more helpful

burning sensation
cold on the outside
it only helps
i can sleep late

bubbling tones reached me
high up is not well
i replied
i was busy for 30 times

finally, it's over
peace, at last
enjoying at the expense
of a hot experience

Wednesday, May 04, 2005

the interpreter & coach carter

here to talk abt 2 great movies i've watched recently..... haha, was caught up in the pouring out of my emotions that i did not get a chance to do so.... firstly, the interpreter.... well, nicole kidman is a damn good actress... however, it's quite difficult to imagine her as a rebel, shooting a young boy with her delicate features, no matter how great her acting is... anyway, i like the story, it's political, where the leader organises an assissnation for himself as he felt sorry for the way his country turned out... i like the part where slyvia (nicole kidman's character) confronted him, and forced him to read out a part of the book he wrote... seeing someone regrettful of what he has done.. well, i get the kick out of that... haha.... anyway, i like stories where 2 characters with heart-broken stories meet, and they can connect somehow.... it's very touching, as everything is not explicitly said but implicitly known throught gestures and touch.... nice~!

watched coach carter yesterday... well, if u asked me which i prefer, i would say coach carter... this is an autobiograpy, where a coach requires his basketball team to do well academically and on the field, because they are student-atheletes... he went to a school where the students went from 4 wins to an undefeated record... he cancelled the games when the students does not do well in their studies, where he faced the backlash of the media... his sole purpose is to prevent the studentst from going into the viscious cycle like their parents... he succeeded, when 5 out of the 6 main players got a scholarship to go to college where all the players. in think, when to college... i think there was only abt 6-10 people in the cinema... i was shouting with the players when they win... how silly was i? haha, but the thing is, i really was going along with the movie... can u imagine how powerful it is?? yeah... i totally love it~!!!

typing my blog during lunch time... tons to do in the office, really hope i have the chance to see all the work i helped out with is completely done... think it's a futile dream... but, nice....

hmm.... pei shan: keep me in touch with the scholarship application~!

to sistas: let's rock our hse down...!!!

hmm, nobody seems to tag anymore... haha.... normal lar... so long....

Tuesday, May 03, 2005


it's been more than a week since i last blogged... hmm, i realise that i've always started off like that... haha... anyway, life's been pretty good so far... as of last week, i bought so much things, like 3 bottoms, which means i'm broke.... hmm, i'm a good girl, my mum says that i must dress to be more presentable when i'm in uni... so yupz.... i guess i sound really different from most... usually, most of my peers strive to be different, either in terms of dressing, behaviour or interaction with people... it's a front, but it also depends on how well one portrays it or can hide the side they do not want people to see... hmm.... all in all, a mask or shell, a much talked-abt topic... the human stage... anywayz....

was just on the phone with hwee min, more affectionately known as hui min... it was a real breather, talking to her, from my usual habits... hmm, it's quite out of the blue for me, as i'm the one who took the initiative to call her... haha, usually, i'm the more passive sort, who will wait for people to call me... don't know why, just that after i've read some stuff, i've the sudden urge to talk to someone who knew me when i wasn't embroiled in conflicting issues... we chatted abt lots of stuff, mostly abt other common frens... it's quite refreshing as i do not have to pour out my own feelings, in the sense where i have to think of what to say... if i'm not wrong, the last time i interacted with hui min was more than 2 months ago... i'm glad that the familiarity is still there... actually, it has never left, and i'm thankful for that!!!

remembered something suddenly, i was called spoilt, which only one person ever did that... where only in my lifetime, i was called that... i was hurtful... that's definitely one of the feelings... i choose to think that the person does not mean it, and i hope that i am not wrong... well, u could say that i can think badly of the person, that i don't have to pretend to be nice... but the thing is, i just don't want to think poorly of someone... that sets me on to another thing... have either of u ever chance upon the time when no matter what, u want to think of someone positively?? it's the first time i have such feelings towards a person... ok, this might sound like i like a guy so much that even if he abuses me, i would forgive him... anyway, i'm just talking abt it in general...

i'm that kind of person who will think badly of someone, not to the extreme, but to the extent that i don't trust people that easily, hence, the kind of wariness.... however, i've been super, well, totally unguarded towards someone... that's not me... i've been questioning myself, why the sudden change?? it's a good thing that i trust people now?? or am i that desperate for a frenship during that particular period?? perhaps it's not important on why or how we met, but perhaps the status of the relationship now.... in honesty, i don't know, i feel that we are not putting enough effort, that there's a bridge, i don't know how to mend it, or is it that i don't want to?? i don't think it's the latter... but why the hesistation?? perhaps, it's just not meant to be?? right now, i hope that things will iron out itself naturally, is that so much to hope for?? i don't know... trust, it's real difficult...

in the past, if someone asks me what tears a friendship apart, i would say, immediately, time and effort... right now, i feel strongly, it's $$$... acutally, $$$$ is a obstacle in all relationships, in terms of having it or going without it... why must everything be abt $$$? what a shit world... i don't deny that i don't like it....

hiaz, enough of being personal... went swimming with my sistas and cousins, five-year-olds... now, we look like roasted chicken... haha..... the sun is just fabulous today~!!! hee~!!!

my operation is coming soon, most prob in the first week of june... am i scared?? u bet... acutally, it's mixed with a hint of resignation, that i'm gonna do it, but when?? good luck to myself...

yay~! no working tomorrow, going to see the doc with my grandma.... parents in england, europe, having a blast... hope they enjoy themselves.... we are too~! haha~!