many stuff

today is a fulfilling day... i managed to finish part b of my econs essay~!! technically speaking, i'm overdued by 4 econs essay, 1 history essay... oh no, how am i gonna find time to finish?? i have not even started doing anything constructive~!! aargh~!! haha~!! even though i winced at the thought of many stuff to do, i'm glad at being kept busy... don't have to think of my surgery at the end of the year... haha~!!

i'm glad that pei shan is not pissed with me... i've been agreeing to meet her, then can't make it at the last minute... not for long, my dear.... haha~!!

met ms ng today regarding my history common test script... hmm... thanks to her, i've a better understanding of how to write an essay... the frustrating thing for me about history is that my marks are not consistent... it can fluctuate like the stock market... now, she has set me to write an essay every week... i don't mind, it just means more work... come to think of it, she wants the distinction rates to be good, therefore, she wants her students to do well... hmm... it's a mutually-understanding relationship... haha~! i don't mind...

also having extra lessons with mr whitby regarding lit paper 8... there's a feel that i'm rushing everything at the last minute... at least, it's better late than never... i wanna try my best for the prelims, hopefully, i can aim for a scholarship... it's a dream... it can happen.... mind over body, yoke, remember~!!

sometimes, i wonder, do classmates take notes from people for different subjects... for example, when someone is absent from school, that someone comes back and does not take the notes from her friend in class, but chooses to take different notes from different people for different subjects... this is a good thing for the person in question, however, it speaks volumes about the person in question too... the character, is, i don't know... disturbing... results are more important than friendship?? i rather think that an unselfish friendship is when someone can really brush aside feelings of envy and jealously when your best friend, good friend does better than you... otherwise, i will not even want to be in the friendship... some may disagree, how in the world can there be no competition?? there can be... it's just whether u treasure the person enough or not...

oh well, what do i know??

overwhelming

i wanna thank dear bi quan for giving me such succlent and mouth-melting chocolates from germany~!! thanks so much~! just can't get enough of it...

hmm... i'm supposed to be having maths tuition now... my teacher msg me and told me that there's too many people today... so, i'm going tuition on saturday... might as well... i want to do other stuff... haha...

the wounds on me are still hurting... they have turned into this pale yellow surface with the angry red streaks surrounding it... boy, i want the wounds to cure quickly, so i can go running~!! haha~!!

i realise that a lot of people do care... even though they did not explicitly say it... i can sense it... i'm really touched by it...

hmm... i'm currently caught up in this web of feelings... i know getting enthusiatic from what u say looks fake to u... i know u r trying, i'm too... even though it's difficult to find a common interest, we have tried... i will continue trying, i prefer peace and harmony... 

people in school are working so hard that it' s so scary... suddenly, a simple task of doing homework seems to be mugging to some people... sometimes, when one is doing the stuff she normally does, she's deem as mugging too hard... wow, i know it's time to study, but the extent of it is just too overwhelming... i guess i'm lucky in the sense that i know what i want, when to achieve it... so, i'm remarkably calm... i hate pressure... so, trying to ward off it... hiaz...
 
anyway, hope that everyone is happy everyday... we really do need sunshine in such "dark" and trying times...

my sis and me... we look good together~!! haha~! 

falling into something that "i don't know of"

first and foremost, i had a great big fall today~!! now, 3 parts of my body are hurting like hell... ok, not to that extent, but it hurts... it happened while i was jogging... it was so sudden that i didn't have time to react... hee~! i think it's quite funny... it's been so long since i have fallen... haha~! hmm... between jogging and studying, i choose jogging... i need to relax sometimes...

anyway, imagine, a person who has relatively good results is being asked questions by the classmates in her class... however, when that person really hasn't done her work yet, but is being asked questions, then, she will tell that she hasn't done her work, will her classmates believe her?? this may seem like a silly incident, however, in the smothering atmosphere of njc, i believe this is important... selfishness seems to be the main focus in njc, sometimes, a simple "have-not done-homework" incident may be deem as being selfish... i don't know...

hmm... gonna explain something i said yesterday... i mean that when the people who have done well doesn't need much help, i mean that all of us want to do well in the end rite? it doesn't matter if u or she has a teacher's help?? i don't know...

sometimes, i feel lighter somehow when the common tests are over... when it is going on and the results are being returned, i feel a sense of tightness in my chest... i just can't help it... people seems to be very different when they get back their results... i don't know...

i can't help but feel that i'm an irritating kind of person... i have this habit of talking or making a comment towards someone when i see that person being quiet... i just can't help it... i like to see people happy... this brings back a remark or rather a comment made by someone during my yep sarawak trip last year... she says, "thank you for always talking to me whenever i'm bored." i just like to get people out of their dumps... however, the thing is, do people want to get out of their dumps?? i'm being super irritating by talking to them... i don't know...

i enjoy chatting to hui qi on msn... hmm... she brings out the real me sometimes... sometimes, i have this sense of alienation in this trio friendship that i have... i know they don't me to exclude me... it just happens because they keep seeing each other... i'm trying hard not to feel it... thier birthdays are coming... haha... how exciting... bankruptcy time... hee~!!

anyway, don't think i'm gonna do pe tomorrow... hee~!

i love my sis... she says i don't mention her... so, i love u... kudos to sister love...~!

this is a nice song by someone talented and young...

joss stone - super duper love (are u diggin' on me)
 
Yeh are you diggin on me
Yeh yeh yeh
Im diggin on u now baby
Yeh do u wanna little bit of my love
Yeh wait a minute wait a minute
 
All the time i knew that you loved me
Because you were always there
Could i be that mistaken
Believing that you really care
In the presence of all my friends
You stood there holding my hand
And you promise me faithfully
That you will be my only man
 
Yeh are you diggin on me
Yeh yeh yeh
Im diggin on u now baby
Yeh do u wanna little bit of my love
Yeh wait a minute wait a minute
 
Everytime i walk down the street with you
Im as proud as a girl can be
Just 2 no that u r mine
And all that good loving belongs to me
In the presence of all my friends
You stood there holding my hand
And you promise me faithfully
That you will be my only man
 
Yeh are you diggin on me
Yeh yeh yeh
Im diggin on u now baby
Yeh do u wanna little bit of my love
Yeh wait a minute play it for my
Little Beaver
 
[insrumental]
 
In the presence of all my friends
You stood there holding my hand
And you promise me faithfully
That you will be my only man
 
Yeh are you diggin on me
Yeh yeh yeh
Im diggin on u now baby
Yeh do u wanna little bit of my love
Yeh wait a minute your love is super oh baby
See im trying to tell you
Your love is super duper
Super yes it is yes it is
Your love is
Your love is super
Are you diggin on me coz im diggin on you
Im just trying to tell you
Oh this love is super duper
Wait a minute

common tests are a drag

the highlight today is mrs cheng's talk to the j2s... seriously, looking at the ct2 results, we are in deep shit... nevertheless, there is always a silver lining underneath the clouds (i think), hope will always prevail if we strive for the best~! i have a suspiscion that the reason that the arts results are not being announced because of the upward thrend... ususally, the arts results are supposed to improve over time... we really got more "A"s then before... haha... maybe, the school wanna keep the sterotype that the arts facaulty can't perform?? haha... heck... we shall show that the arts fac are not to be intimidated by the "A"s results... hopefully....~!

hmm... read yoke's blog and realised that we are peas in a pod in terms of ideas... i don't understand why some people cannot accept things easily... esp for people belonging to a certain kind of school... they tend and like to exaggerate things and blow it out of proportion... simply, the problem doesn't exist at all... consultation of the teacher is to benefit oneself... true, we are supposed to share our stuff with friends, however, if your friend is already good enough, why bother?? as in, in the long term, your results matters... something like that... i support u, yoke~!!

hmm... am getting super irritated with a certain someone in class during maths lesson... i'm not the only one... why is he acting so blatantly show-off?? he thinks he's damn smart... maybe he is, i don't care, but why is he such a show-off?? who cares?!! seriously, no one does...

hmm... mrs tan keeps saying that she can envisage certain people getting their "A"s in GP... i know i'm not one of them... that's not the point, the point is that i'm seriously quite screwed... what's my strength?? why are my marks fluctuating like the shares index...?? it's frustrating~!! i just pray that i get just right to be able to apply to law school... hiaz... 

just gonna pray that the week passes uneventful... don't like too much disturbances currently...

enchanted by ella enchanted

went to watch ella enchanted~!! i was entralled by it~! it's adapted from the wonderful fairytale cinderalla with a modern twist... went with joanne... as usual, she started to day dream about her prince charming~! hee~! anyway, the sad thing is that the male lead is not handsome enough... since it's a fairytale, everything must be perfect right?? haha~! i enjoy it~!! hmm... if i continue with a movie per week, i'm so gonna be broke soon~!! anyway, it's worth it~!!

hmm... i just realise that it's damn easy to judge someone from what they say and what they do... i'm too quick to make a decision about someone and that's so wrong of me... i see things in the wrong way too often... hmm... gonna change this bad habit of mine.... it's not nice that the someone thinks positively of u, yet u think that the person sux... kind of stupid...

common test 2 results:
maths: E (stupid of me...)
literature: D (passed for the first time~! yeah~! gonna do better~!)
history: D (definitely can do better)
econs: O8 ( sux, wanna do better)

hiaz, the prinicpal wants to talk to us tomorrow about the common test results... personally, i don't blame her for being angry, all the results are sliding downwards with a dangerous trend... i'm just glad that i managed to pass 3 subjects... i wanna do well for my prelims... stupid to say this remark... everyone wants to do well...

i was so happy yesterday... mrs tan brought us to the botanic gardens to look at the place for commercialisation effects... we are supposed to discuss about whether it is necessary for locals to pay for the entrance fee to the orchid garden since we pay taxes... i enjoyed the trip very much... hard to believe, i love to look at nature, especially flowers and waterfalls... i'm just regretful that i did not have the cow sense to bring a camera along... haiz... so long, i've been out of touch with nature... wanna visit there again...~!

so damn freaking tired these few days... i hope it's worth it... for the "A"s and prelims... i just wanna do well~!! haha~!

it's a nice song after much listens to it...

avril lavigne - my happy ending

So much for my happy ending
oh oh, oh oh, oh oh...

Let's talk this over
It's not like we're dead
Was it something I did?
Was it something you said?
Don't leave me hanging
In a city so dead held up so high
On such a breakable thread

You were all the things I thought I knew
And I thought we could be

CHORUS
You were everything, everything that I wanted
We were meant to be, supposed to be, but we lost it
And all the memories, so close to me, just fade away
All this time you were pretending
So much for my happy ending
oh oh, oh oh, oh oh...

You've got your dumb friends
I know what they say
They tell you I'm difficult
But so are they
But they don't know me
Do they even know you?
All the things you hide from me
All the shit that you do

You were all the things I thought I knew
And I thought we could be

CHORUS

It's nice to know that you were there
Thanks for acting like you cared
And making me feel like I was the only one
It's nice to know we had it all
Thanks for watching as I fall
And letting me know we were done

CHORUS X 2

oh oh, oh oh, oh oh...

nothing...

i don't know if i am not suppose to get this feeling or if i am just too sensitive... it's been 2 occasions since i have noticed this... am i being thinking too much?? i don't know why people like to present themselves as knowledgable... as in, fighting to explain their answers, for the sake of it, or trying to show that they are not dumb... but the thing is, nobody thinks that they are dumb... i think by doing this, they are more dumb... hiaz... i hate to think so much into things...
 
i've never had this experience with friends before... whenever i ask them questions, hwee min and hui qi has never given me the impression that "i know how to do and u don't" that kind of feeling... maybe i'm guilty of that fact, but that usually only happens when i'm encountered with this situation... hmm... must try to get rid of this bad habit...
 
hiaz... i have tons of homework to complete... gonna try to complete it...
 
On a Monday, I am waiting
Tuesday, I am fading
And by Wednesday, I can't sleep
Then the phone rings, I hear you
And the darkness is a clear view
Cuz you've come to rescue me
Fall... With you, I fall so fastI can hardly catch my breath, I hope it lasts

[Chorus:]
OhhhhhIt seems like I can finally rest my head on something real
I like the way that feels
Ohhhhh
It's as if you've known me better than I ever knew myself
I love how you can tell
All the pieces, pieces, pieces of me
All the pieces, pieces, pieces of me

I am moody, messyI get restless, and it's senseless
How you never seem to care
When I'm angry, you listen
When youre happy, it's a mission
And you wont stop 'til I'm there
Fall... Sometimes I fall so fast
Well, I hit that bottom
Crash, you're all I have

[Chorus:]
OhhhhhIt seems like I can finally rest my head on something real
I like the way that feels
OhhhhhIt's as if you known me better than I ever knew myself
I love how you can tell
All the pieces, pieces, pieces of me
All the pieces, pieces, pieces of me

How do you know everything I'm about to say?
Am I that obvious?
And if it's written on my face...
I hope it never goes away... yeah

On a Monday, I am waiting
And by Tuesday, I am fading into your arms...
So I can breathe

[Chorus:]
OhhhhhIt seems like I can finally rest my head on something real
I love the way that feels
OhhhhhIt's as if you've know me better than I ever knew mysel
fI love how you can tell
OhhhhhI love how you can tell
OhhhhhI love how you can tell
All the pieces, pieces, pieces of me
All the pieces, pieces, pieces of me...
 
i like this song~!

a tribute to the unfortunate...

i was just watching the nkf show and would like to make a tribute to all the kids and their parents who have suffered from what life have given them so far... most of the parents have to accept the burden of heavy medical bills and the thought that what would happen to their children if they die... yes, it's easy for us to dismiss it as a "gimmick" to get us to donate... i used to think that it's unnecessary and needless...
 
however, i now fully understand the motive behind it... take a look around us... the singaporeans... most have become cynical, lacking the compassion that is sorely needed... i'm guilty of this fact... if there is no video, or even if there is, how many of us would donate?? then, there's this big commotion when some nkf director said that a charity show is needless because there are more than enough reserves to last nkf for three years... but, how enough is enough?? it will never be... when the world gets better and people get richer, the income gap between the rich and the poor will get greater, especially for such a competitive society of singapore... we have been taught to question everything, then coming to the conclusion that everything we think is right... only our opinions matter... i feel sick when i think of how i could become...
 
some people hate charity organisations for not doing their best to help... for example, a patient had died because the charity organisation did not contact the patient fast enough to provide medical aid... yes, many times, the charity organisations lack the ability to cater to everyone... however, i think when one has put in the effort, what say those who did not lift a finger to help...
 
looking at the children's video, i thought of my cousin... life has always been unfair... hiaz... however, i think the most important thing is to do what we can and as much as we can...
 
studies may be the thing that occupy us most now... however, there are many out there who can't even experience what we are experiencing now... i couldn't help but shed silent tears for them... i admire them for having the will to live on no matter how hard life has dealt them...
 
hiaz... i hate charity shows for bring this softer side of me... however, i will try my best to help... no matter how little, the most important thing is try...

power...

hmm... blogspot has some new additions which are quite interesting... hee~! anyway, just gonna try out a little... i'm kind of a computer idiot...
 
imagine a senario... a guy/gal likes someone... however, that someone just doesn't like the guy/gal... i just feel that the person who doesn't reciprocate the feelings has this power over the person who likes her... the person will relish in the power and think of all sorts of things like how irritating it's for someone to like him/her... that kind of thing... secretly, i like this kind of power... however, on further thought, i think it's kind of disgusting... i mean, u r enjoying yourself in someone's misery... hmm... i shall never let that happen...
 
we were good friends once... we have this comfortable chemistry between us despite your irritating moments... however, all that changed when u proceed with the impossible... now, our conversations are stilted and polite... too polite, in my opinion... u r trying to make me jealous... u r not succeeding... i rather we be friends then be engaged in this little situation which i feel will not do either of us good... i do value your friendship... hiaz...
 
there's tuition later... looking forward to it...
 
my cousin got a merit for her grade one piano theory... hmm... not bad, my teaching... hee~!

mean girls is fletchily skanky...

watched mean girls today~!! it set me thinking that there are real bitches out there... well, i'm most probably one of them... i like to bitch about people behind their backs... it's definitely not a good thing... what's the point?? i don't know why, but gals have this habit of bitching just about everyone... yeah, that's my favourite habit, however, i always think things in 2 perspectives... let's say, given this simple senario, one girl who's basically well-liked calls another person, a mugger, a loser, something like that, if, i am the name-caller, i will immediately think that the other person will think of me that way... i find that when i think along this track, it doesn't make me a nicer person, in fact, worse, because i can always find different excuses to refute any negative opinions i think the other person may think of me... well, that's how complicated my world is...

this set off another food-for-thought... realism vs appearance... it's difficult for someone to present oneself as who she really is... it's not easy to tell or see if someone is really nice to u because she genuinely wants to... that same someone maybe just with you because u r her victim of jokes... wow, the world is damn scary... this will lead to another thought of mine... trust is then hard to be built up... trust is something that grows with time... what if u thought u can trust your own feeling but feels afraid because u r scared of getting hurt?? one will then be not able to experience all kinds of things... i'm a little mad... all these thoughts just because of mean girls...

hee~! overall, it's a fun kind of movie... funny and sweet...

i passed my caretaker... first time... must try to study more next time... hee~!!

till the next entry...

disappointment... i hate myself...

i feel much better after talking to hwee min... i don't know why whenever i'm with her, hui qi, yoke hing and joanne, i don't have to feel that they are undermining me or sizing me up... there's this rare connection between us... i hope they do too towards me... hee~! thanks hwee min dear... i know i talk too much most of the times, about myself usually, but then, i know u will hear me out cos nobody does... most like to talk about themselves... yeah~!

i hate it when people want to announce their wonderful results when they say they have done minimal studying... that's your own problem, not mind... good for u if u have done well, i just don't care... don't have to beat around the bush to get me to ask u... if u want to know my marks, ask me straight... if u want to gloat over me, that's your problem, not mine... i don't care, have never cared... stop doing these things... yes, i'm targeting some people... yes, i don't care, i'm like that, take it or leave it...

maybe i'm giving out the same signals to u, i don't care... i've never cared about others results... just my friends... they know that i will be glad for them when they have done well... i don't care about competition... i'm glad and joyous that my friends do understand that... do it blatantly... don't hide... i'm not like your other friends... u want to compete, compete with them... i'm not like that...

yes, i am hypocritical... has been like that always.... i've tried to be not... it's damn difficult if i have been like that for a long time... it's just too bad... yes, we are mutually using each other... that suits me just fine... just don't compete...~!!

today, mr tsang asked me why did i do badly for maths... gave a stupid answer... why did i not put in enough effort?? in turn, i have disappointed the people who truly cared about me... even though ms chan didn't say it, i know she's disappointed in me... then, there's my parents who have their undying faith in me... they didn't ask me for my results because they believe i can do well in the end... no one understands me?? i didn't put in enough effort... i believe it's good to fall in a while... i'm just selfish... i took the easy way out... i'm afraid to have such a high expectation of myself, that i can't meet it... why am i so selfish?? i did badly on purpose... why?? shit me... i just hate myself... am i crying now?? yes, i am... i hate myself...

pressure?? do i feel it?? yes, i am... even though i may appear calm and heck-carish, i do know the pressure... i just appear like that cos i'm used to it... well, i'm very worried about my 3"A"s, if i don't pass at least 3 subjects, i'm dead... hiaz...

econs... another disappointment... why??

gonna put my results out once everything's out... setting my goals... i'm gonna try and meet it... not going to be another disappointment...

yes, i'm mugging now... i am, i don't care what everyone says about muggers... i'm mugging now... the prelims together with their mocks are coming soon... i don't want to be made a mockery of... whatever...

never felt so happy in a long time

bought 2 pairs of shoes at charles and keith today... the official announcement... siim ann's broke with a capital B~!! however, she's broke and HAPPY~!! hee~!!

finally told my parents my decision to study music at diploma level... they are supportive... once more, siim ann wants to proclaim... she's as happy as a LARK!

today's quite a happy day~!! gonna put a happy song...

hanson - penny and me

Cigars in the summertime
Under the sky by the light
I can feel you read my mind
I can see it in your eyes
Under the moon as it plays like music every line
There’s a rug with the bleeding dye under the fan in the room
With our passions burning high
By the chair with a leopard skin under the light
It’s always Penny and me tonight


Hop on the plane, step with both my feet
Riding in seat number three on a flight to NYC
Got my bean in a coffee cup next to my seat
Catch the view with another good book to read
Sending home on the friendly skies
Missing her eyes
It’s always Penny and me tonight

Cos Penny and me like to roll the windows down
Turn the radio up; push the pedal to the ground
And Penny and me like to gaze at starry skies
Close our eyes, pretend to fly
It’s always Penny and me tonight

Staring at a million city lights
But still Penny and I are alone beneath the sky
Feel the wind brushing slowly by
If I could soar I would try to take these wings and fly
Away to where the leaves turn red
But no matter where I am instead
Singing along to "Feeling Alright"
Or making it by in the pink moonlight
It’s always Penny and me tonight

Cos Penny and me like to roll the windows down
Turn the radio up; push the pedal to the ground
And Penny and me like to gaze at starry skies
Close our eyes, pretend to fly
Close our eyes, pretend to fly
It’s always Penny and me tonight


Well Penny likes to get away
And drown her pain in lemonade
Penny dreams of rainy days
And nights up late by the fireplace
And aimless conversations about the better days

Singing along to "Feeling Alright"
Or making it by in the pink moonlight
It’s always Penny and me tonight

Cos Penny and me like to roll the windows down
Turn the radio up; push the pedal to the ground
And Penny and me like to gaze at starry skies
Close our eyes, pretend to fly
Close our eyes, pretend to fly
It’s always Penny and me tonight
Penny and me tonight
Penny and me tonight
Penny and me tonight

being pretentious may not be a bad thing...

today is another tired day for me... i don't know why am i feeling so nowadays... today, in lit lecture i was drifting in and out of sleep... don't know what the hell is going on... during lit tutorial, i was ridiculed my dear mr whitby again... i don't know why am i willing to be made a spectacle out of... i'm sure that everyone thinks i'm stupid or something... i give my opinions during lesson-time, they are not brilliant or anything, at least i contributed... i happened once and i swore not to contribute anymore... i did contribute, then, gotten ridiculed again... i know that mr whitby is like that, it's his humour... however, i just could not help feeling like a certain kind of dislike towards him sometimes... i mean, just because he's a caucasian, he has the right to be like that?? i know, he means well... however, i could not help feeling like that sometimes... anyway, if u don't agree with me, don't have to start supporting him... i don't hate him for his teaching methods, just that i just feel this way sometimes... hiaz...l just ignore me...

i hate myself today... i've been acting once again... i hate that... i get irritated easily... it's my fault... once again... acting is also my fault... hiaz...

today sounds quite a downer... not really... went to buy this cd called love songs... there's 48 love songs to drown myself in if i'm out of love... haha... yoke hing thinks i'm looking for comfort in the form of a boyfriend... i admit, i was in the past, now... anything is fine... don't really need them... i'm fine this way... yoke hing dear, don't have to worry... hee~! my love's always with u...

went running today... feel good... just that my stomach feels like shit, together with my butt during the run... hopefully, i don't hurt my back again...

haha~! so long... gonna do my econs tuition essay now... think i'm behind by 3... haha~! i shall try to finish... anyway, maybe buying shoes tomorrow from charles and keith... gonna enjoy it.... going for a wedding on sunday too... hee~!!

so long...

spiderman 2 was fun~!

went to watch spiderman 2 today~!! hmm... as hwee min said, it was quite draggy, everything happens in a chronological order... it's very obvious, and i drifted out sometimes... nevertheless, the right elements are there, it makes for good viewing~! i like the part where aunt mae said, "being a hero, sometimes, means that u cannot always do the things u want, even if it means giving up your dreams..." i believe life's like that... i don't get to do the things i wanted but study to make my parents happy... something like that...

hmm... i take back the thing i said about hating someone... i guess, i get the wrong impression easily... i have to interact more... haha~!

i hate guys who think that they are good-looking, means that they have the right to ridicule any gal... in addition, some of them are, and they know it, they think that they have the right to choose... i mean, how obnoxious can someone get?? it's just plain disgusting... anyway, the world's not really fair... it's guys who are arrogant who gets the gals... it's just strange... there are not much good guys left... oh, whatever...

i'm torn between doing my maths tutorial and sleeping... i'm so tired, have been sleeping late, i guess, my biological clock has not get used to my current routine... i guess, i shall do some maths...

yeah, i'm gonna go waterbottle shopping tmr... gonna buy a metal one... don't wanna die of cancer... gonna buy a cd too~!! has been waiting for so long for my pay... haha~! wanted to buy 3 cds, hiaz, not enough cash... anyway, yeah, buying spree tmr...

this is a song that's representative of old-fashioned love... that's sorely lacking now, sad...

GLORY OF LOVE (Peter Cetera)

Tonight it's very clear
Cause we're both lying here
There's so many things I wanna say
I will always love you
I will never leave you alone
Sometimes I just forget, say things I might regret
It breaks my heart to see you crying
I don't want to lose you
I could never make it alone

I am a man who would fight for your honor
I'll be the hero you're dreaming of
We'll live forever knowing together
That we did it all for the glory of love

You keep me standing tall
You help me through it all
I'm always strong when you're beside me
I have always needed you
I could never make it alone

I am a man who would fight for your honor
I'll be the hero you've been dreaming of
We'll live forever knowing together
That we did it all for the glory of love

It's like a knight in shining armor
From a long time ago
Just in time I will save the day
Take you to my castle far away

I am the man who will fight for your honor
I'll be the hero that you're dreaming of
We're gonna live forever knowing together
That we did it all for the glory of love

We live forever knowing together
That we did it all for the glory of love

We did it all for love
We did it all for love
We did it all for love
We did it all for love...

ungratefulness

finally~!! alas~!! my computer has been repaired~!! i can start blogging~!! yeah~!! first and foremost, i'm freaking tired now, have been for the past 2 days... anyway, some updates... i won $19.75 just by betting $5 on greece in the euro finals... i'm so proud of myself, putting faith in the greece football team~!! yeah~!! my prediction came true~!! hmm... greece did indeed won~!!

some unpleasant stuff now... hmm... got back the results of my common tests, well, some of them... maths, hiaz, i just passed... my initial feeling was numbness, actually, i still do now... i'm going to be analytic about my maths results now... hmm... the grade wasn't really what i expected... of course, i yearned for something higher... i guess everyone does... i attribute everything to myself, the fault is mine and no one else... how can i expect to get an A when i did not do my usual amount of preparation... i deserve it... i'm gonna get my revenge during the prelims and A levels... well, that's not a "you-just-say" kind of thing... it's a command... i know i can do it, why did i not do enough?? i hate to be complacent... i will not be next time... i will not let this hapeen... i'm waiting for the disappointment in myself to descend on me... it hasn't come yet... i expect it to be soon... i need to feel that... i really do...

anyway, got some piece of good news, no matter how small... i pass my mcq~!! for the first time in my econs career, i passed~!! i'm quite proud of myself... hmm... though, for my econs tuition, i have not pass the prelims prep yet, there's hope... haha~!! for this common test, i really want to pass my econs~!! i really do...

sometimes, no matter how hard i try, i try not to hate someone, as in when that someone has quite a constant amount of interaction with me... i will see that someone everyday... so, what am i doing hating the person, i try hard not to, still trying... i hope i will not hate that person in the end...

hmm... kind of morbid... sometimes, i just hate it when no appreciation is given to the help i have kindly given... i mean, when i have tried hard, but just not hard according to the person who have asked u... as in, how can the person gauged how much effort u have put in rite? i hate it, when u can't see what i have done but believed in your warped concept about the people around you... why can't u see from both sides?? u have always been like this... u refused to change... i just wish that u will stop imposing your ideas on me... see things from both sides, then i will not be so constrained in trying to please u... help me that way, please...

i don't like to guess... in fact, it's very trying... i'm seriously thinking, am i thinking too much... i don't like to be in a position where im thinking too much and acting arrogant about everything... i'm like that, i admit... i don't want to be... please, don't give me false impressions~!!

i'm so happy about something... econs tuition is fun, everyone can chat with love and joy~!! hee~!! that's something to look forward to...

hiaz, i hate to sound down and out... i shall try to be up and in in the next entry... don't like to be down, not my style...