badminton & running

i know some ppl out there wanna kill me.... hee~! i just won the britney spears greatest hits album from perfect 10... been waiting for a month to make the call~!! haha, i guess the patience paid off~!! yeah~!! i'm so happy~!!

hmm... went shopping yesterday... yes, town again... haha, this time, to buy my bag... hmm, bought an op skirt too~!! i'm so happy, i really love my skirt... hmm, i'm mad... anyway...

peishan called just now.... i thought she was angry with me for cancelling our meeting twice... haha, suntaning at the beach alone... so cool~!!! hee~!! later, will be darker then me~!! hmm.... glad that she's not mad....

went to play badminton with my sis, hmm, she's not bad, i must say.... there's improvement.... hmm, off to running now... hopefully, i have the strength... haha... cya~!!!

sunday blues...

many yearn for exams to be over... i'm no exception.... nevertheless, it's kind of scary... there is nothing to look forward to, in the sense that there's just no aim... u don't know what to do... it's just a never-ending tunnel of possibilities... but, there is no dead-end even.... it's just a long long stretch of pathway... haha... job-looking.... many are looking for MOE... will i get it?? i'm not sure... if i get it, then i have one less worry... it's like, after the exams, there's just so many things to consider... something like the first step into society... haha...

hmm... many things are happening these few days.... mostly to do with my feelings.... different people have different styles... i hate it when others butt in for no apparent reason... mind ur own bloody business... what's the point in voicing things out?? i don't like to quarrel with someone who has absolutely no sense of self-awareness... how can u take it out on me just because i don't respond back... u r so so stupid... whateva... i hope u get ur just deserts... don't think u can lord over me just because u like... it's because i'm just freaking tired of it... there's really no point... cos, nothing is ever wrong with u... selfish beings... have u ever thought of how i feel instead of u u u & u... selfish... anyway, it doesn't matter.... what's more important is that u r not hurt.... why do i even bother so much?

anyway, i just need to let it out, cos, u let it out on me... i'll just let it out on the com...

i hope it stops raining, so that i can go running... i need it...

shopping... broke....

went shopping today... again... what's new?? hmm, went to buy my prom top.... shopping with my mom is such a bother... she likes to criticise everything i wear.... hiaz... that's mothers for u... hmm.... i'm so sick of shopping.... my legs are getting whobbly from all the walking... in addition, i still have to buy accessories... it's fun, in a way... but then, once everything is settled, i can breathe easier... hiaz...

oh, and my phone... it's spoilt... it's a long story... anyway, i'm using my younger sis's phone... hiaz... it's so bad.... why does my phone have to spoil now?? and it's not totally my fault... hiaz... i don't understand why am i so neutral abt everything?? maybe it's my ability to see everyone as wrong... haha, therefore, i seldom get angry... however, i keep everything to myself... nobody wants to know... so, does it make me feel better?? hiaz... it's ok... sometimes, it's just better not to dwell so much...

my operation is scheduled on march... what the shit?? how am i gonna find a permanent yet temporary job?? irritating... hiaz... whateva... hmm, bought alota stuff... two tops... i better curb my spending... cos, i'm BROKE!! haha, so long...

shopping~!!

"A"s was over yesterday... can't say that i'm particularly exhilariated... i have not been fully concentrating on the "A"s... it's just like something that i have to do.... hmm...

went to watch the princess diaries 2 and the incredibles yesterday... haha, the princess show is like the usual fluff... it's so romantic~!! haha... incredibles was great~!! the baby was so so cute~!! hmm, i think it's great the family can overcome all odds to fight the evil... love is such an inexplainable thing, powerful and indestructible~!!! haha... it was a nice day... went with yoke, xiuz, xinyi and dear shu ying... haha, the poor gal, exams end next tues... take care, it's gonna be over~!!! yoke, hmm, going malaysia... haha, will hope to see her soon~!!

went shopping with my both sisters today... i think it's our first outing in like 3 years... it was quite fun... nonetheless, it was tiring~!!! prom is such a bother!!! i'm fat... can't find anything... i hate to try on so many, then, it's such a disappointment... found some stuff, just hope that my mum approves of it... i don't wanna keep finding... it's so irritating.... aargh~!! we shopped from 1-6 plus.... without shopping... how wonderful?? haha, i saw many people today... xinyi and jo... haha, orchard is like a place of meetings... s'pore is just so small~!!

hmm, i really hope sat's shopping trip will be over and done with~!! aargh~!! gonna do more and more exercise to lose weight!!! i'm fat~!!

2 more days~!

today's history and econs... hmm, think my econs is pretty screwed!! hiaz, it's ok... i did my best... just pray real hard... hmm, the hist questions were somewhat not expected... hopefully, my answering was alright... i really wanna get an A...

went to my aunt's hse at the spur of the moment... then went to j8 and eat ljs with my sister... the wrap is not bad... haha, then i walked ard, trying to get inspiration for my prom attire... hmm, i don't think it's that a difficult task.. haha, quite fun...

hmm... last paper soon... count down, 2 more days~!!

nothing much...

i thought the day will never come that sly will get into the finals... u know what? singapore is so so blind.... he, in w0rld idol?? oh my god!! but then again, taufik will win, cos sly is just too too bad!! he looks bad, sings bad, has bad attitude.... the list just goes on... singapore has only blind giggly teenagers who can't differentiate between talent and ugly/funny looks... come on?? fair competition... anyway, who i'm i to judge? taufik's gonna win... that is one good thing why sly is in the last 2... to show how good taufik is against him... anyway, he won't win... sux sux!! olinda... good work... will miss your vocals... something u can boast about... sly has none, take comfort in that... yeah~!!

hiaz, ok, enough... sly's fans gonna kill me... cos, they know what i say is true... they are trying to stop me from bitching abt his pathetice skills. none for the record... ok, ok...

hmm, lit today was alright... i think... peishan did the same qns as me~!! haha, not bad, same minds think alike~!! hmm, i really like mr whitby's paper... hopefully, it's alright... hmm, sometimes, i hate being such a sensitive person... i can't help disliking someone... should not, but... hiaz, i don't know lar...

i don't have any mood to study at all~!! hopefully, i can~!!

general

now, my frens are currently taking their history exams, while i'm enjoying myself in front of the computer... hiaz, i can't wait for all this to be over... i'm supposed to be studying history... haha, just read some outlines, and basically slacking... hmm, overconfidence?? erm, no, haha, i just think that i can finish studying... i don't have a memorising mind now... excuses?? probably... haha...

hiaz, i was just thinking abt econs again... i know, i'm a dumb dumb, but i just can't help it... i gave it my best shot... hopefully... hiaz...

hmm, i think abt stuff alot... yeah, i know everybody thinks... hiaz... i was just recollecting the time when i went back to bp during teachers' day... hmm, i remember my science teacher from sec 2 whose also from bp... he said that bp doesn't know how to cultivate loyalty from the students... at first, i do not believe him, but i agree with him now... he was chased out due to disagreemtns with other teachers... the guy from creative is form bp, he doesn't show much appreciation towards the sch, not that i blame him... the teachers don't even really bother to talk to u much... the feeling just isn't there... i feel like a stranger... maybe the description of a stranger is to the extreme is too much... but it's really a let-down... my fren was asking me whether i would go back next year... hmm...

i was just thinking that there's nothing in nj for me to visit while i was studying there... now, i have so many wonderful teachers.... mrs tan, mr whitby, ms ng... i will never forget them... they were there to help me whenever i meet any problems... well, other teachers too, but the interaction i had with them is much more... i hope i don't disappoint them... i will definitely miss them, esp. mrs tan... she brought a whole new perspective to my life... constantly helping me because she knew that i have no confidence in my gp... taking the initiative to call me down... talking and stuff... i will miss her... will i go back? u bet...

hmm.... these kind of things, i think abt.... studies, boring... haha...

exams....

hey, i'm back~!! haha, after a 2-day frenzy of exams... which, hiaz... yesterday was maths paper 2 and lit paper1... i'm so so glad that the paper 2 was not that difficult... i think and hope that i got most of them right... hopefully, i'm able to get and A... hopefully... hiaz, lit was another matter... i hate donne... hiaz, think i'm pretty screwed for his poem... hmm, ms chua is so freaking accurate... the context for m4 was so on the spot.... hopefully, for that, i can do alright... hard times, haha, if i did correctly, it should be alright... haha, hopefully...

hmm, econs today was hiaz... why didn't they set wages?!! hiaz, i think i'm quite screwed... hmm, mr lim called yesterday to wish good luck and today to ask how was it... hmm, he was reassuring me that it isn't that bad... hiaz, actually he cheered me up, as he knows that i didn't have time to finish before i even said it... so, the general populace should undergo the same thing?? mag also says that those who did qn 4 has short ans... hiaz, hopefully...

hiaz, i really am sick of studying... it's gonna be over soon~!!

update...

hey!! i know alot of my frens are not as focused as they should be... they should not worry cos i'm with them... haha... not a good thing... anyway, i just wanna finish my paper 1 today... yeah, i can~! donne is so boring...

just an update,,,

hey!! i'm back~!! haha... daphne's out!! used to hate her, but think she's very sincere now... haha... so long, i hope olinder will win~!! she's the best~!! haha, sly is gonna get out next week~!! yeah~!! ok, i'm evil... haha... fans out there, spare me~!!

hmm, today is quite an alright day... my mum's hope, so i did quite a bit of work... haha... i hurt the other leg of mine... i'm so clumsy... now, when i go running, my leg tire very very easily... hiaz, i hope it's not a long term problem...

hmm, went out for dinner today... it was nice, ate quite a number of things... fish-pieced hor fun, shared oyster, hokkien prawn mee and ice kachang with mum and sistas... haha, it was nice...

3 more days to the onslaught of the "A"s, why do i feel so relaxed?? haha, gonna start to mug real hard tomorrow, or i'm gonna be so dead... haha... so long~!! take care people...

the princess dairies 2 the royal engagement

hiaz, it's a chore to study... i believe everyone agrees with me... have been trying to study my lit... m4m is so boring... i don't know if it's because that i have read it once recently or it's just that i can't be bothered with... hiaz, i really wanna do well for my lit... i have never passed the horizon of a D... can i?? i really want to... however, looking at my pathetic progress, i'm beginning to wonder real hard... hiaz... no use procastinating... hiaz...

my sis bought a pencil-box for me... it's real nice~! i like it very much... even though my tranquil environment has been disturbed by her homecoming... it's a nice disturbance... hee~!!

been feeling much better about my mood and feelings... hiaz... it's like that lar...

just watch the princess dairies 2... yeah... it's not bad... the male lead is damn damn cute~!! haha... think i'm gonna watch it on the big screen... haha... hmm, i'm half-way through sharks' tale... it's alright, i don't know why the critics say it's superficial... haha, maybe i'm shallow... yeah... i have to study right?? haha...

gonna go running later... must drag my sis with me... she's so lazy... haha~!! so long then... wish me luck in my pathetic progress...

maths... praying...

finally have the chance to blog... have alota things in mind... firstly, what else?? haha, the "A"s... hmm, had history yesterday... i think it was alright, in the sense that i understand the questions... i feel quite screwed as i seem to forget all that i have studied on russian rev... i think i have some divine power helping me... i was focusing on german unification and russian rev, for the first part... and it came out!! haha, i'm really thankful for it... it's over~!! history is such a big thing, for the amount of studying required...

maths... hiaz... i think and hope that i'm overeacting... i've lost some marks due to a wrong reading of a question... i think i'm that kind who thinks that a wrong question will mean a very bad mark... hopefully, it's all in my stupid mind... haiz... i just pray that what i did was right... that's all... yeah, must try harder for paper 2...

hurt my leg yesterday... the part where it'ss just after the last 4 toes, where u can bend... i landed on the bend... it hurt initially, but it's not a sprain... nevertheless, it's hurting on and off now... i'm hoping that it will not worsen so that i can go running... yeah... don't like to be injured... yeah, who will like it?? dumb dumb...

my sis is in genting right now... she's coming back tomorrow... hmm, better buy nice stuff for me... haha, didn't miss her that much cos of the exams... hmm, looking forward to her homecoming though...

hiaz... now, to the mind stuff... i guess, for relationships, when the more u care for someone, the more u will feel hurt... i admit, once i start to care for someone, i will get very possessive... hence, i feel the hurt when my frens do not pay that much attention to me... maybe, because, me and my sis have such a close relationship that i don't bother much abt frens and stuff... however, in jc, i realise that i care for some close ones... i feel hurt even though it's a stupid thing... yeah, i'm that sensitive to little things, like frens drifting away from me... even though, it's like for some times... maybe, that's why i feel more... i know, it's my own thinking and stuff, i don't blame anyone... just myself for having such a wild imagination.... hmm, maybe retreating back to a shell and not caring as much helps?? i don't really like it but it's clear to me... yeah, and maybe i should stop thinking abt myself... but, my frens are doing it.... hiaz...

yeah, going back to studying soon.... don't feel like talking much these days...

rampage in russia

what a shit moment to get sick!! i was battling this serious flu which left my body limpless... then, i couldn't stop sneezing... which, i think was part of the reason why i didn't study more yesterday... haha... yeah, russia... hmm, can study finish~!! now, still feeling a little cold, which does not seem to be the symptons of flu... no, i will not get a fever~!! yeah, can't go running too... haha... yeah, it will be over soon...

gp... hmm...

hmm... had gp paper today... haha, bitter laughter... i did not finish the AQ... it's the first time... hiaz, i can take comfort that i'm not the only one... nevertheless... hmm, i was walking home and i realise that my essay seems to go out of point?? haha, i don't know whether it's my imagination or...?? haha, it's alright, anyway, it's over... if i'm destined to do well, i will, something like that... haiz, studying for my hist 1 which happens on mon... quite nice lar, to finally start studying... hmm, must think of it in the sense that it's my last chance to study anyway... hmm, it's pouring now, really literally pouring... and, i went to sleep after i had on the light, hmm, my mum being nice, came in to switch off when i was about to wake up... haha, so, it's kind of nice she asks me to go back to sleep... she was never that nice to me, as in concern about my sleeping... haha... so, at that moment, i told her abt my dream...

the dream: i dreamt last night that i had forgotten to study for my lit paper 1 and 3... and i sorta thought that the papers were today... and, i was in this classroom with my sec sch classmates... nonetheless, i was horrified... i woke up with a start... yesterday was a fitful night... didn't really sleep well... haha...

went to the specialist centre to collect my cd from power 98... the joke: they didn't have my name... i was like... WHAT?? haha, i didn't say that... i'm nice mah~! hee~!! so i called power 98 to ask... my name wasn't there... the person was like did the dj say u won the cd... i feel like asking her whether i'm loony or not... the dj took my name and everything... so?? funny... hiaz, so waiting for their call...

hmm... my say that i sometimes do say the wrong things... hmm... must learn to be politically correct... yoke: happy studying?? haha...

hmm, did this personality test, hmm, apparently, i'm intj, as shown below:


Your Type is INTJ
strength of preferences %
Introverted 56
Intuitive 33
Thinking 44
Judging 22

The Portrait of the Mastermind Rational (iNTj)

Of the four aspects of strategic analysis and definition, it is the contingency planning or entailment organizing role that reaches the highest development in Masterminds. Entailing or contingency planning is not an informative activity, rather it is a directive one in which the planner tells others what to do and in what order to do it. As the organizing capabilities the Masterminds increase so does their inclination to take charge of whatever is going on.

It is in their abilities that Masterminds differ from the other Rationals, while in most of their attitudes they are just like the others. However there is one attitude that sets them apart from other Rationals: they tend to be much more self-confident than the rest, having, for obscure reasons, developed a very strong will. They are rather rare, comprising no more than, say, one percent of the population. Being very judicious, decisions come naturally to them; indeed, they can hardly rest until they have things settled, decided, and set. They are the people who are able to formulate coherent and comprehensive contingency plans, hence contingency organizers or "entailers."

Masterminds will adopt ideas only if they are useful, which is to say if they work efficiently toward accomplishing the Mastermind's well-defined goals. Natural leaders, Masterminds are not at all eager to take command of projects or groups, preferring to stay in the background until others demonstrate their inability to lead. Once in charge, however, Masterminds are the supreme pragmatists, seeing reality as a crucible for refining their strategies for goal-directed action. In a sense, Masterminds approach reality as they would a giant chess board, always seeking strategies that have a high payoff, and always devising contingency plans in case of error or adversity. To the Mastermind, organizational structure and operational procedures are never arbitrary, never set in concrete, but are quite malleable and can be changed, improved, streamlined. In their drive for efficient action, Masterminds are the most open-minded of all the types. No idea is too far-fetched to be entertained-if it is useful. Masterminds are natural brainstormers, always open to new concepts and, in fact, aggressively seeking them. They are also alert to the consequences of applying new ideas or positions. Theories which cannot be made to work are quickly discarded by the Masterminds. On the other hand, Masterminds can be quite ruthless in implementing effective ideas, seldom counting personal cost in terms of time and energy.

Introverted iNtuitive Thinking Judging by Marina Margaret Heiss

To outsiders, INTJs may appear to project an aura of "definiteness", of self-confidence. This self-confidence, sometimes mistaken for simple arrogance by the less decisive, is actually of a very specific rather than a general nature; its source lies in the specialized knowledge systems that most INTJs start building at an early age. When it comes to their own areas of expertise -- and INTJs can have several -- they will be able to tell you almost immediately whether or not they can help you, and if so, how. INTJs know what they know, and perhaps still more importantly, they know what they don't know.

INTJs are perfectionists, with a seemingly endless capacity for improving upon anything that takes their interest. What prevents them from becoming chronically bogged down in this pursuit of perfection is the pragmatism so characteristic of the type: INTJs apply (often ruthlessly) the criterion "Does it work?" to everything from their own research efforts to the prevailing social norms. This in turn produces an unusual independence of mind, freeing the INTJ from the constraints of authority, convention, or sentiment for its own sake.

INTJs are known as the "Systems Builders" of the types, perhaps in part because they possess the unusual trait combination of imagination and reliability. Whatever system an INTJ happens to be working on is for them the equivalent of a moral cause to an INFJ; both perfectionism and disregard for authority may come into play, as INTJs can be unsparing of both themselves and the others on the project. Anyone considered to be "slacking," including superiors, will lose their respect -- and will generally be made aware of this; INTJs have also been known to take it upon themselves to implement critical decisions without consulting their supervisors or co-workers. On the other hand, they do tend to be scrupulous and even-handed about recognizing the individual contributions that have gone into a project, and have a gift for seizing opportunities which others might not even notice.

In the broadest terms, what INTJs "do" tends to be what they "know". Typical INTJ career choices are in the sciences and engineering, but they can be found wherever a combination of intellect and incisiveness are required (e.g., law, some areas of academia). INTJs can rise to management positions when they are willing to invest time in marketing their abilities as well as enhancing them, and (whether for the sake of ambition or the desire for privacy) many also find it useful to learn to simulate some degree of surface conformism in order to mask their inherent unconventionality.

Personal relationships, particularly romantic ones, can be the INTJ's Achilles heel. While they are capable of caring deeply for others (usually a select few), and are willing to spend a great deal of time and effort on a relationship, the knowledge and self-confidence that make them so successful in other areas can suddenly abandon or mislead them in interpersonal situations.
This happens in part because many INTJs do not readily grasp the social rituals; for instance, they tend to have little patience and less understanding of such things as small talk and flirtation (which most types consider half the fun of a relationship). To complicate matters, INTJs are usually extremely private people, and can often be naturally impassive as well, which makes them easy to misread and misunderstand. Perhaps the most fundamental problem, however, is that INTJs really want people to make sense. :-) This sometimes results in a peculiar naivete', paralleling that of many Fs -- only instead of expecting inexhaustible affection and empathy from a romantic relationship, the INTJ will expect inexhaustible reasonability and directness.

Probably the strongest INTJ assets in the interpersonal area are their intuitive abilities and their willingness to "work at" a relationship. Although as Ts they do not always have the kind of natural empathy that many Fs do, the Intuitive function can often act as a good substitute by synthesizing the probable meanings behind such things as tone of voice, turn of phrase, and facial expression. This ability can then be honed and directed by consistent, repeated efforts to understand and support those they care about, and those relationships which ultimately do become established with an INTJ tend to be characterized by their robustness, stability, and good communications.

Functional Analysisby Joe Butt

Introverted iNtuitionINTJs are idea people. Anything is possible; everything is negotiable. Whatever the outer circumstances, INTJs are ever perceiving inner pattern-forms and using real-world materials to operationalize them. Others may see what is and wonder why; INTJs see what might be and say "Why not?!" Paradoxes, antinomies, and other contradictory phenomena aptly express these intuitors' amusement at those whom they feel may be taking a particular view of reality too seriously. INTJs enjoy developing unique solutions to complex problems.

Extraverted Thinking
Thinking in this auxiliary role is a workhorse. Closure is the payoff for efforts expended. Evaluation begs diagnosis; product drives process. As they come to light, Thinking tends, protects, affirms and directs iNtuition's offspring, fully equipping them for fulfilling and useful lives. A faithful pedagogue, Thinking argues not so much on its own behalf, but in defense of its charges. And through this process these impressionable ideas take on the likeness of their master.

Introverted Feeling
Feeling has a modest inner room, two doors down from the Most Imminent iNtuition. It doesn't get out much, but lends its influence on behalf of causes which are Good and Worthy and Humane. We may catch a glimpse of it in the unspoken attitude of good will, or the gracious smile or nod. Some question the existence of Feeling in this type, yet its unseen balance to Thinking is a cardinal dimension in the full measure of the INTJ's soul.

Extraverted Sensing
Sensing serves with a good will, or not at all. As other inferior functions, it has only a rudimentary awareness of context, amount or degree. Thus INTJs sweat the details or, at times, omit them. "I've made up my mind, don't confuse me with the facts" could well have been said by an INTJ on a mission. Sensing's extraverted attitude is evident in this type's bent to savor sensations rather than to merely categorize them. Indiscretions of indulgence are likely an expression of the unconscious vengeance of the inferior.

hmm, quite true lar, sorry to put u through so many rubbish... haha... here's a list of famous intjs...

Dan Aykroyd, actor (The Blues Brothers)
Susan B. Anthony, suffragist
Arthur Ashe, tennis champion
Augustus Caesar (Gaius Julius Caesar Octavianus), Emperor of Rome
Jane Austen, author (Pride and Prejudice)
William J. Bennett, "drug czar"
William F. Buckley, Jr., conservative political advocate
Raymond Burr, actor (Perry Mason, Ironsides)
Chevy Chase (Cornelius Crane), actor (Fletch)
Phil Donahue, television talk show host
Michael Dukakis, governor of Mass., 1988 U.S. Dem. pres. candidate
Greg Gumbel, television sportscaster
Hannibal, Carthaginian military leader
Veronica Hamel, actor (Hill Street Blues)
Orel Leonard Hershiser, IV, major league baseball pitcher
Peter Jennings, television newscaster
Charles Everett Koop, former U.S. surgeon general
Ivan Lendl, tennis champion
C. S. Lewis, author (The Chronicles of Narnia)
Joan Lunden, television talk show host
Edwin Moses, U.S. olympian (hurdles)
Martina Navratilova, tennis champion
Charles Rangel, U. S. Representative, D-N.Y.
Pernell Roberts, actor (Bonanza)
Maria Owens Shriver, television newscaster
Josephine Tey (Elizabeth Mackintosh), mystery writer (Brat Farrar)
Rudy Giuliani, New York City mayor
Donald Rumsfeld, US Secretary of Defense
General Colin Powell, US Secretary of Statea

haha, 2 important ppl of the US... hmm, i've always like colin powell... hee~!! sorry, me out such a lota stuff...

the manchurian candidate

haha, have been procastinating for so long abt my blog... partly, i didn't want to complain about not studying... not studying... not studying... and nothing else... haha, i guess, it's quite normal if nobody believes me and i'm not out to prove something by not studying... well, i've been doing some work... yeah...

hee~!! went to watch the manchurian candidate... hmm... it was an intellectual stimulus... haha, i like it that the show is artfully crafted together... everything is flowing at a smooth pace, getting the plot together... hmm, it's about this presidential candidate raymond shaw who has been brainwashed, together with his group of army soldiers, into believing that he was the hero, by saving all of them... then, major marco, denzel washington's character is out to prove the truth... hmm, mery steep put in the good acting too... i think the main theme in this movie is how one's ambitions and dreams, esp. of a parent is focused on a child. and how that ambition cause the parent to stage this whole brainwash thingy just for her own power and son... it's very exciting, the climax building and all... haha, go catch it!!

hiaz, thursday marks the start of my "A"s... frankly speaking, i can't wait to get down and mug real hard... haha, good luck to all!!

yoke hing: must take a break sometimes!! we'll go watch movieS after the "A"s!! hee~!!