first thing first... a confession... i didn't keep to my promise of abstaining from the computer for 2 weeks... oh, i'm past caring about most promises i've made pertaining to my screwed life... haha... i'm suppose to be studying for my lit now... oh, whatever, i will, later, when i can finally pull myself from the subtle lure of the computer... haha~! i just took maths and econs paper today... nothing seems to be able to go in... nevertheless, i must try... this will be my first foray into studying lit... hee~!
anyway, i wanna comment about friendships... i think it's the most fragile thing in the world... i guess that in some point of someone's life, one will start to question about the people around them... this sense of unease will multiply when one gets older... u seem to trust no one but yourself... this is to the extent that u thought the one whom u could trust has betrayed u... however, i rather think that it's a unnecessary thought... when your friend is not paying much attention to u, i do not think it's a sign of betrayal or anything, i rather think that people need space at times... in addition, time is needed to explore all sorts of possibilities... what makes a friendship work, i feel is a basic sense of understanding that personal space is important and that the sense that u can look for your friend at all times... i don't think constant contact is needed... if there is no constant contact, friendship is still there for u to nurture... u must take the initiative and look for all sorts of perceptions...
i'm someone who has a lot to learn about friendships... the basic form of trust is very important... friends fulfill different purposes and needs in my life... crude and impersonal it may sound, people look to different friends for different situations, that is usually the case... i take a long time to trust and when i do, i realise that there is no harm trying to venture into a friendship, friends are important... i wanna give a big warm hug to all my friends out there... i love u guys~!!
anwyay, just a penny for my thoughts... i can't wait for commom tests to be over... this saturday... almost there... half-way through... haha... think i better start to study lit before i'm really screwed to feel like not studying...
Tuesday, June 29, 2004
Sunday, June 20, 2004
2 weeks of mental torture & agony (test of endurance)
this is gonna be my last entry for 2 weeks... i'm gonna abstain myself from the computer for 2 weeks... if i don't make this promise, it's not gonna materialise... soon, i'll be in deep shit... can i do it? i believe nothing is impossible... the hols are gonna end soon... sad yet elated... it means that the "a"s are arriving soon... i'm gonna stop studying... i believe the repetition "gonna" is getting on your nerves... it's meant to... hee~!
the news for this week... went out on a class outing on friday night... 12 of us came... the rest who didn't... why not~!! hee~! anyway, we went to the fish and co at centrepoint for dinner... after that, we walked all the way to esplanade before heading for home... the "hike" there wasn't without any incidents... some minor lame stuff going on... evem though it's not really considered a successful one, we did have fun... didn't we??
the low-down for the upcoming week... hiaz... have to go back to school for 3 days... tomorrow, i'm meeting ms chan with ailin... hopefully, it'll be a fast consultation... gonna go cut my hair and visit popular to replenish my stationary... 20% off~!! haha~! after that, my aunt is gonna treat us to sushi buffet cos it's her birthday~!! yeah~! hopefully, i'll get some studying done in between... i believe i can... i manage to do it for the common test last time, which has only one week's time to study... i'll try~!!
thursday, it's a session with mrs poon, my new econs teacher, hopefully, i'll get to finish the mcqs in time... saturday... there's a mass maths lecture for the revision exercise... wow, u could say busy week of subjects revision~!! haha~! anyway... hear from me 2 weeks later.... i promise endless stories of my boring revision~! hee~! yeah~!! here's a song... i'll have something light~!!
Sexy, Naughty, Bitchy Lyrics - Tata Young
[Chorus]
I pick all my skirts to be a little too sexy
Just like all of my thoughts they always get a bit naughty
When I'm out with my girls I always play a bit bitchy
Can't change the way I am sexy naughty bitchy me
I'm the kind of girl that girls don't like
I'm the kind that boys fantasize
I'm the kind that your momma and your daddy were afraid you'd turn out to be like
I may seem unapproachable but that's only to the boys who don't have the
Right a approach or ride that makes a girl like me wanna hop in and roll
People think it's intimidating when a girl is cool with her sexuality
I'm a 180 to the stereotype girls like staying home and being innocent
[Chorus]
My mouth never takes a holiday
I always shock with the things I say
I was always the kid in school who turned up to each class bout an hour late
and when it came to the guys I'd lay, I'd always pick the ones who won't
figure out that I am clearly a rebel to the idea of monogamy
People think it's intimidating when a girl is cool with her sexuality
I'm a 180 to the stereotype girls like staying home and being innocent
[Chorus]
Sexy... naughty... bitchy...me
People think it's intimidating when a girl is cool with her sexuality
I'm a 180 to the stereotype girls like staying home and being innocent
[Chorus]
I like all of my shorts to be a little too shortly
Unlike all of my guys I like them tall with money
I love all of my nights to end a little bit nasty
Can't change the way I am sexy naughty bitchy me
I pick my skirts to be sexy
Just like my thoughts a bit naughty
When I'm out with my girls ...bitchy
Can't change I am
Sexy naughty bitchy me
the news for this week... went out on a class outing on friday night... 12 of us came... the rest who didn't... why not~!! hee~! anyway, we went to the fish and co at centrepoint for dinner... after that, we walked all the way to esplanade before heading for home... the "hike" there wasn't without any incidents... some minor lame stuff going on... evem though it's not really considered a successful one, we did have fun... didn't we??
the low-down for the upcoming week... hiaz... have to go back to school for 3 days... tomorrow, i'm meeting ms chan with ailin... hopefully, it'll be a fast consultation... gonna go cut my hair and visit popular to replenish my stationary... 20% off~!! haha~! after that, my aunt is gonna treat us to sushi buffet cos it's her birthday~!! yeah~! hopefully, i'll get some studying done in between... i believe i can... i manage to do it for the common test last time, which has only one week's time to study... i'll try~!!
thursday, it's a session with mrs poon, my new econs teacher, hopefully, i'll get to finish the mcqs in time... saturday... there's a mass maths lecture for the revision exercise... wow, u could say busy week of subjects revision~!! haha~! anyway... hear from me 2 weeks later.... i promise endless stories of my boring revision~! hee~! yeah~!! here's a song... i'll have something light~!!
Sexy, Naughty, Bitchy Lyrics - Tata Young
[Chorus]
I pick all my skirts to be a little too sexy
Just like all of my thoughts they always get a bit naughty
When I'm out with my girls I always play a bit bitchy
Can't change the way I am sexy naughty bitchy me
I'm the kind of girl that girls don't like
I'm the kind that boys fantasize
I'm the kind that your momma and your daddy were afraid you'd turn out to be like
I may seem unapproachable but that's only to the boys who don't have the
Right a approach or ride that makes a girl like me wanna hop in and roll
People think it's intimidating when a girl is cool with her sexuality
I'm a 180 to the stereotype girls like staying home and being innocent
[Chorus]
My mouth never takes a holiday
I always shock with the things I say
I was always the kid in school who turned up to each class bout an hour late
and when it came to the guys I'd lay, I'd always pick the ones who won't
figure out that I am clearly a rebel to the idea of monogamy
People think it's intimidating when a girl is cool with her sexuality
I'm a 180 to the stereotype girls like staying home and being innocent
[Chorus]
Sexy... naughty... bitchy...me
People think it's intimidating when a girl is cool with her sexuality
I'm a 180 to the stereotype girls like staying home and being innocent
[Chorus]
I like all of my shorts to be a little too shortly
Unlike all of my guys I like them tall with money
I love all of my nights to end a little bit nasty
Can't change the way I am sexy naughty bitchy me
I pick my skirts to be sexy
Just like my thoughts a bit naughty
When I'm out with my girls ...bitchy
Can't change I am
Sexy naughty bitchy me
Thursday, June 17, 2004
desperate for time
it's been 3 days since i last blogged... kind of miss it... i was trying to control my urge to blog, because i will spend more time on the computer, that's the last thing i want to happen... nevertheless, i spend a lot of time playing games... oh, i hate myself... how can i let a machine control me?? that's why, i've stopped blogging and have stoped using the computer for quite a while... mainly, it's because i've been quite busy...
anyway, went for my new maths tuition on tuesday... he's my sis's tuition teacher... omigod~! he's cute.. and young... basically, not what i had in mind for a tuition teacher... haha~! he's alright i guess, not particularly fantastic... however, i just need someone to be there for me to ask questions...~! i'm so disappointed in myself... i just hope i have time to complete my maths revision... i must prove my worth in stats, i can do those questions... anwyay, have not touch stats yet... hiaz...
as for econs... i feel that i've been spending too much time doing and not much time studying... therefore, i have to physically force myself not to do but study... i realise that since i started going for econs tuition, i've been able to think the econs way... as in the linkage part is getting better... i really want to get an acceptable pass this time round... hopefully, i can study everything in time~!!
anyway, i've been feeling real desperate for the past few days... i guess i have no one to blame but myself... constantly playing the computer when i swore to study hard... stupid me.. anyway, i'm gonna study my butt off these few days... i believe nothing's too late unless one did not try~!
went to watch chronicles of riddick yesterday... my father has free tix... wow, science fiction... not really my type... the fighting cheography wasn't that good either... it was basically quite eye blinding, they use a lot of flashing lights... in addition, the names, or rather terms given to certain kind of species is kind of confusing... hee~! kind of wasting my time... anyway, i'll give anything for a free movie~!
here's a song: how appropriate, i am listening to the radio and this song came on~! hee~!
The Reason - Hoobastank
I'm not a perfect person
as many things I wish I didn't do
but I continue learning
I never meant to do those things to you
and so I have to say before I go
that I just want you to know
I've found a reason for me
to change who I used to be
a reason to start over new
and the reason is you
I'm sorry that I hurt you
it's something I must live with everyday
and all the pain I put you through
I wish that I could take it all away
and be the one who catches all your tears
that's why I need you to hear
I've found a resaon for me
to change who I used to be
a reason to start over new
and the reason is you
and the reason is you
and the reason is you
and the reason is you
I'm not a perfect person
I never meant to do those things to you
and so I have to say before I go
that I just want you to know
I've found a reason for me
to change who I used to be
a reason to start over new
and the reason is you
I've found a reason to show
a side of me you didn't know
a reason for all that I do
and the reason is you
anyway, went for my new maths tuition on tuesday... he's my sis's tuition teacher... omigod~! he's cute.. and young... basically, not what i had in mind for a tuition teacher... haha~! he's alright i guess, not particularly fantastic... however, i just need someone to be there for me to ask questions...~! i'm so disappointed in myself... i just hope i have time to complete my maths revision... i must prove my worth in stats, i can do those questions... anwyay, have not touch stats yet... hiaz...
as for econs... i feel that i've been spending too much time doing and not much time studying... therefore, i have to physically force myself not to do but study... i realise that since i started going for econs tuition, i've been able to think the econs way... as in the linkage part is getting better... i really want to get an acceptable pass this time round... hopefully, i can study everything in time~!!
anyway, i've been feeling real desperate for the past few days... i guess i have no one to blame but myself... constantly playing the computer when i swore to study hard... stupid me.. anyway, i'm gonna study my butt off these few days... i believe nothing's too late unless one did not try~!
went to watch chronicles of riddick yesterday... my father has free tix... wow, science fiction... not really my type... the fighting cheography wasn't that good either... it was basically quite eye blinding, they use a lot of flashing lights... in addition, the names, or rather terms given to certain kind of species is kind of confusing... hee~! kind of wasting my time... anyway, i'll give anything for a free movie~!
here's a song: how appropriate, i am listening to the radio and this song came on~! hee~!
The Reason - Hoobastank
I'm not a perfect person
as many things I wish I didn't do
but I continue learning
I never meant to do those things to you
and so I have to say before I go
that I just want you to know
I've found a reason for me
to change who I used to be
a reason to start over new
and the reason is you
I'm sorry that I hurt you
it's something I must live with everyday
and all the pain I put you through
I wish that I could take it all away
and be the one who catches all your tears
that's why I need you to hear
I've found a resaon for me
to change who I used to be
a reason to start over new
and the reason is you
and the reason is you
and the reason is you
and the reason is you
I'm not a perfect person
I never meant to do those things to you
and so I have to say before I go
that I just want you to know
I've found a reason for me
to change who I used to be
a reason to start over new
and the reason is you
I've found a reason to show
a side of me you didn't know
a reason for all that I do
and the reason is you
Monday, June 14, 2004
harry potter~!
just realise that i have not been blogging for three days... hee~! been doing other stuff on net...
nothing much happened, went to watch harry potter~!! it's not bad, but, kind of short... haha~! that's definitely a downer... went shopping after that... spurlged about 50 bucks on all sorts of clothings... now, needless to say, i'm quite broke... haha... anyway, after watching harry potter, i realised how much i must treasure my parents... harry potter, without his parents is just a sad boy, no matter how powerful he is... in his heart, only his parents matter~!!
went for father's day dinner on sunday... took this opportunity for my dad's good mood to buy a top... i can be such a sucker~! hee~! anyway, glad that the family can sit down together to have a meal, at least, we are not that "far apart"... yeah...
the sad thing is that i have not been running daily... been going out, tuition, tuition and more tuition... haiz.... it's a good thing, at least, i will be motivated to do more work... yeah~!! it's econs week for me this week~!! i'm sick of literature... haha... k, cya guys next time~!
nothing much happened, went to watch harry potter~!! it's not bad, but, kind of short... haha~! that's definitely a downer... went shopping after that... spurlged about 50 bucks on all sorts of clothings... now, needless to say, i'm quite broke... haha... anyway, after watching harry potter, i realised how much i must treasure my parents... harry potter, without his parents is just a sad boy, no matter how powerful he is... in his heart, only his parents matter~!!
went for father's day dinner on sunday... took this opportunity for my dad's good mood to buy a top... i can be such a sucker~! hee~! anyway, glad that the family can sit down together to have a meal, at least, we are not that "far apart"... yeah...
the sad thing is that i have not been running daily... been going out, tuition, tuition and more tuition... haiz.... it's a good thing, at least, i will be motivated to do more work... yeah~!! it's econs week for me this week~!! i'm sick of literature... haha... k, cya guys next time~!
Friday, June 11, 2004
my heart feels warm....
wow~! the first thing when i checked in on my blog was the number of overwhelming responses i received~!! thanks people~!! i really need some excitement in my life~!! hee~!! haha~!! to answer one by one... dear yoke... didn't do much, i veered from my path by a lot... haha~!! lay pheng dear... hmm... i have to see of the ocean is dangerous enough or not... hee~!! geraldine dear... so jealous of u~!! enjoy hong kong~!! beatrice dear... glad u like the colour~!! overall, muacks to u guys~!!
finally, finally... i went out today~!! even though it was to tuition, i managed to go shopping in junction 8~!! wanted to buy a skirt at op, however, they don't have my size... it was the case in u2 too~!! boo hoo~!! sometimes, singapore sales can be quite irritating... despite the cheap prices, the sizes will go out first... hiaz... shall go causeway point to check it out~!! hee~!! however, i bought earrings, they looked authentic~!! lay pheng has influenced me greatly, now, everywhere i go, i will say things like "funky ... " haha~!!
tuition was great~!! i managed to learn some stuff and revise at the same time... at last, something is getting done... hee~!! went to my uncle's house for dinner just now... i was so full... one regretful thing about tuition is that i can't go running~!! it seems like running has become an addiction... if i don't go, i will feel super guilty... if only my studies has this effect on me~!! anyway, i didn't play rollercoaster tycoon today~! so proud of myself~!! haha~!!
currently, i managed to finish 3 exercises of maths~!! i've discovered how to do trigo 3-d, the basic part of it... finally... i have tried to find out how to do, i think i did try, haha, but to no avail~!! thank god i do now~!! haha~!! tomorrow, i'm gonna study the caretaker and virgina woolf... hopefully, they are not as exhausting as donne~!! they don't put me off, i hope...
yeah~! overall, a satisfied day~!!
finally, finally... i went out today~!! even though it was to tuition, i managed to go shopping in junction 8~!! wanted to buy a skirt at op, however, they don't have my size... it was the case in u2 too~!! boo hoo~!! sometimes, singapore sales can be quite irritating... despite the cheap prices, the sizes will go out first... hiaz... shall go causeway point to check it out~!! hee~!! however, i bought earrings, they looked authentic~!! lay pheng has influenced me greatly, now, everywhere i go, i will say things like "funky ... " haha~!!
tuition was great~!! i managed to learn some stuff and revise at the same time... at last, something is getting done... hee~!! went to my uncle's house for dinner just now... i was so full... one regretful thing about tuition is that i can't go running~!! it seems like running has become an addiction... if i don't go, i will feel super guilty... if only my studies has this effect on me~!! anyway, i didn't play rollercoaster tycoon today~! so proud of myself~!! haha~!!
currently, i managed to finish 3 exercises of maths~!! i've discovered how to do trigo 3-d, the basic part of it... finally... i have tried to find out how to do, i think i did try, haha, but to no avail~!! thank god i do now~!! haha~!! tomorrow, i'm gonna study the caretaker and virgina woolf... hopefully, they are not as exhausting as donne~!! they don't put me off, i hope...
yeah~! overall, a satisfied day~!!
Thursday, June 10, 2004
really... bored
finally, i'm able to access to my blog. been trying for a few minutes... hmm... firstly, i have something to confess... i played rollercoaster tycoon~!! what a load of crap i am... however, i did not spent as much time as the previous times... that's definitely a vast improvement~!! i managed to complete donne's love poems, all of it~!! read some hard times~!! not really, but what the marathon lecture was about... i kind of have an affinity with hard times... it's definitely more understandable than donne and m4m... sometimes, ok, often, i wander, am i doing enough... i think the answer is staring right into my face... NO~! oh, i promise i will work harder when common tests come~!! hiaz~!
i realise that the holidays are for me to write/update my blog daily... actually, there's nothing going on in my life right now... as in, everydays seems everyday to me... the same... monotonous... hiaz... ask me out~! people~!! maybe, i should catch a movie on my own soon... i've been prone to going to movies on my own... my mom was quite horrified when i told her... she was like "aren't u scared?", followed by "u are quite pitiful..." haha... actually, i don't mind, i like to portray myself as the epitome of independence... that's kind of an extreme description, it really is... haha... anyway, don't have to listen to the ramblings of someone who has been cooped at home for too long... ignorant is the best reaction~!!
i'm gonna thank my fren for being so nice yesterday...~! i was so bored that i "disturbed" my fren through sms for about 2 hours... just because i'm bored, he sms-chatted with me... so nice~!! can't thank him enough~!! i'm so bad~!! but i was real bored yesterday~!! anyway, thanks~!! i guess, the word bored will be totally filled in the holiday blogs~!! u've been warned~!
hmm... i just wanna add that sometimes, i really hate pinning... as the word itself suggests, it means that waiting for something that may/may not happen.... i happen to be pessimistic, believing in the latter... i stay online on msn because of u... everytime, when i see the green little icon beside your nick, my heart gives a little flip... however, u have never taken the initiative to chat with me... am i seeing everything wrong... my gut feeling says no... however, your actions suggest something different from what i infer... should i take the initiative? i did, u never wanted to chat for long... i have done everything.... there's a limit to how long i can wait... 1 month... as xiu wen has written in her blog... everything will die down during the hols~!! i know, i will wait for that to happen... don't u regret it~!! ok, another bitching session...
hiaz... life's slow now... k, cya tomorrow... there's econs tuition tomorrow... can't wait, maybe, i will get started on it soon~!! by the way, my sis's back~!! kiss goodbye to lonely days~!!
i realise that the holidays are for me to write/update my blog daily... actually, there's nothing going on in my life right now... as in, everydays seems everyday to me... the same... monotonous... hiaz... ask me out~! people~!! maybe, i should catch a movie on my own soon... i've been prone to going to movies on my own... my mom was quite horrified when i told her... she was like "aren't u scared?", followed by "u are quite pitiful..." haha... actually, i don't mind, i like to portray myself as the epitome of independence... that's kind of an extreme description, it really is... haha... anyway, don't have to listen to the ramblings of someone who has been cooped at home for too long... ignorant is the best reaction~!!
i'm gonna thank my fren for being so nice yesterday...~! i was so bored that i "disturbed" my fren through sms for about 2 hours... just because i'm bored, he sms-chatted with me... so nice~!! can't thank him enough~!! i'm so bad~!! but i was real bored yesterday~!! anyway, thanks~!! i guess, the word bored will be totally filled in the holiday blogs~!! u've been warned~!
hmm... i just wanna add that sometimes, i really hate pinning... as the word itself suggests, it means that waiting for something that may/may not happen.... i happen to be pessimistic, believing in the latter... i stay online on msn because of u... everytime, when i see the green little icon beside your nick, my heart gives a little flip... however, u have never taken the initiative to chat with me... am i seeing everything wrong... my gut feeling says no... however, your actions suggest something different from what i infer... should i take the initiative? i did, u never wanted to chat for long... i have done everything.... there's a limit to how long i can wait... 1 month... as xiu wen has written in her blog... everything will die down during the hols~!! i know, i will wait for that to happen... don't u regret it~!! ok, another bitching session...
hiaz... life's slow now... k, cya tomorrow... there's econs tuition tomorrow... can't wait, maybe, i will get started on it soon~!! by the way, my sis's back~!! kiss goodbye to lonely days~!!
Wednesday, June 09, 2004
romantic mood...yeah~!
yeah~! 3 cheers for me~! i'm now left with 1 love poem of Donne after 3 days, not a good start, but i feel that i have accomplished something... at least... hee~! now, i'm comforting myself with the thought... when the exams arrive, i will then put in extra effort, now, i'm just putting in effort... ok, another warped theory... at least, it's better than nothing...
i went to the market to buy dinner for tonight, as usual... anyway, i'm feeling real sick of rollercoaster tycoon, i'm not gonna play it tomorrow.... enough is enough... something real funny happened today... i was going to cut white carrot for the soup, however, i took the wrong one, as in the one in the refrigerator instead of the one outside... in addition, my dad specifically told me to take the one outside, but, alas... i'm so muddle-headed~!! i hope this is not a sign of aging, it's kind of sad...
went for a run in the late afternoon, with a drizzle of rain dripping down... i managed to complete my usual distance~!! another cheer~!! yeah~!! i feel real good~!! throughout the run, i was forcing myself to run, to run... yeah~!! another accomplishment to a sad day~!! i wish i have things to do instead of "suffering" at home...
my dear sis is coming back tomorrow~!! i'm glad, i'm super bored at home... if this goes on any longer, i'll be talking to the computer soon... hee~!! ate ice-cream after dinner... haven't eaten ice-cream for a long time~! taste real good~!!
i realise that people get respected not because of who they are, but rather, what they are... some people can put on this total front which is difficult to break into... however, u will think that the person is just "perfect"... sometimes, the phrase "respect must be earned" is just what it is, a phrase...
after reading donne's love poems, i would much like someone to love me that way, writing how u r like the angels, increasing in love because of spring and how love can survive/lasts even after death... it will be eternal... gosh, i'm in a romantice mood~!! but, think of it, it's what every girl wants, a guy to love her whole-heartedly, the guy doing the giving... i will wait... to find the perfect guy~!! yeah~!! hee~!! ignore this hopeless romantic~!!
i'm now dedicating this song to .......... MYSELF~!! i feel that this song reflects lost chance on equal standard as lost love... i hope, i will never lose another chance again...
love takes time - mariah carey
I had it all
But I let it slip away
Couldn't see I treated you wrong
Now I wander around
Feeling down and cold
Trying to believe that you're gone
[Chorus:]
Love takes time
To heal when you're hurting so much
Couldn't see that I was blind
To let you go
I can't escape the pain
Inside
'Cause love takes time
I don't wanna be here
I don't wanna be here alone
Losing my mind
From this hollow in my heart
Suddenly I'm so incomplete
Lord I'm needing you now
Tell me how to stop the rain
Tears are falling down endlessly
[Chorus]
You might say that it's over
You might say that you don't care
You might say you don't miss me
You don't need me
But I know that you do
And I feel that you do
Inside
[Chorus]
i went to the market to buy dinner for tonight, as usual... anyway, i'm feeling real sick of rollercoaster tycoon, i'm not gonna play it tomorrow.... enough is enough... something real funny happened today... i was going to cut white carrot for the soup, however, i took the wrong one, as in the one in the refrigerator instead of the one outside... in addition, my dad specifically told me to take the one outside, but, alas... i'm so muddle-headed~!! i hope this is not a sign of aging, it's kind of sad...
went for a run in the late afternoon, with a drizzle of rain dripping down... i managed to complete my usual distance~!! another cheer~!! yeah~!! i feel real good~!! throughout the run, i was forcing myself to run, to run... yeah~!! another accomplishment to a sad day~!! i wish i have things to do instead of "suffering" at home...
my dear sis is coming back tomorrow~!! i'm glad, i'm super bored at home... if this goes on any longer, i'll be talking to the computer soon... hee~!! ate ice-cream after dinner... haven't eaten ice-cream for a long time~! taste real good~!!
i realise that people get respected not because of who they are, but rather, what they are... some people can put on this total front which is difficult to break into... however, u will think that the person is just "perfect"... sometimes, the phrase "respect must be earned" is just what it is, a phrase...
after reading donne's love poems, i would much like someone to love me that way, writing how u r like the angels, increasing in love because of spring and how love can survive/lasts even after death... it will be eternal... gosh, i'm in a romantice mood~!! but, think of it, it's what every girl wants, a guy to love her whole-heartedly, the guy doing the giving... i will wait... to find the perfect guy~!! yeah~!! hee~!! ignore this hopeless romantic~!!
i'm now dedicating this song to .......... MYSELF~!! i feel that this song reflects lost chance on equal standard as lost love... i hope, i will never lose another chance again...
love takes time - mariah carey
I had it all
But I let it slip away
Couldn't see I treated you wrong
Now I wander around
Feeling down and cold
Trying to believe that you're gone
[Chorus:]
Love takes time
To heal when you're hurting so much
Couldn't see that I was blind
To let you go
I can't escape the pain
Inside
'Cause love takes time
I don't wanna be here
I don't wanna be here alone
Losing my mind
From this hollow in my heart
Suddenly I'm so incomplete
Lord I'm needing you now
Tell me how to stop the rain
Tears are falling down endlessly
[Chorus]
You might say that it's over
You might say that you don't care
You might say you don't miss me
You don't need me
But I know that you do
And I feel that you do
Inside
[Chorus]
Tuesday, June 08, 2004
bored... really...
dear lay pheng, since u asked about the surgery, i shall tell more about it... hee~! it's very obvious that i have a protruding lower jaw... thus, my dear dad has signed me up for surgery... it's to "push" my lower jaw in... when the dentist first approached me, i was primary 6... i was horrified... now, i'm fine with it... can be a beauty (haha)... i guess, i have to make some sacrifices in order to be pretty?? haha... something like that...
hiaz... i thought i would get some studying done... in the end, i was too engrossed with playing the computer and piano... i managed to be totally relax, yet, i know that i have not completed anything concrete yet... hiaz... i shall do i tomorrow... i'm sure of it... i'm now doing ms chua a favour by typing out some stuff... happy typing to me~!
went for a run just now... haiz... same case as yesterday... didn't manage to run my usual distance... i shall try harder tomorrow~!! that's a promise...
went out with my parents and maternal grandmother for dinner... it was kind of cosy and very nice... hee~!
i will get a new phone~! 3100~! even though it's not the latest model or anything, i have never cared for that... i welcome any new changes~!
haha... write more tomorrow... the hols seem like a drag... no excitement... people... ask me out~!!
hiaz... i thought i would get some studying done... in the end, i was too engrossed with playing the computer and piano... i managed to be totally relax, yet, i know that i have not completed anything concrete yet... hiaz... i shall do i tomorrow... i'm sure of it... i'm now doing ms chua a favour by typing out some stuff... happy typing to me~!
went for a run just now... haiz... same case as yesterday... didn't manage to run my usual distance... i shall try harder tomorrow~!! that's a promise...
went out with my parents and maternal grandmother for dinner... it was kind of cosy and very nice... hee~!
i will get a new phone~! 3100~! even though it's not the latest model or anything, i have never cared for that... i welcome any new changes~!
haha... write more tomorrow... the hols seem like a drag... no excitement... people... ask me out~!!
Monday, June 07, 2004
unwanted disturbances
checking my rarely used singtel email now... i have, gosh, 359 emails, u could say, happy checking... serves me right though... don't take the responsibility to check... think my dear dad's gonna scold me for not checking... sad to say, my email account is his only way to keep in touch with his ex-classmates in secondary school... it's kind of a marvel for secondary schoolmates to keep in touch for such a long time... hee~! i don't think my schoolmates will bother too... sad to say, i will not either... hee~! i really hate spams... they are disturbing me from typing my blog... every few moments, like in the span of 2 seconds, my virus will remind me of infection being detected... it's real vexing~!!
hmm... did nothing much the whole day... i was trying to figure out what i have annotated in my collections of john donne... gosh~! he's definitely not a simple guy... poets are creatures, i believe, sent to torture students with their stanzas, verse paragraphs, alliterations, similies, complex thoughts, metaphors, etc... there's more, i just don't feel like knowing what i don't know... i'm only up to 3 poems... i have to try harder tomorrow... i shall see... hee~!
my dear twin sis is currently in genting now, enjoying the cool air while i'm withering in the hot sun... hiaz... even though i did not proclaim my intentions of going or not, it's understood by all that i should stay at home and study my butt off~! actually, i didn't want to go, because i wanted to study, now, i rather not stay at home... it's so depressing, i'm starting to talk to myself... hiaz... nothing to say, i'm just sad...
went for a run this afternoon... i don't know why my legs feel especially heavy today... my run lasted for about 15 mins, it's kind of sad... maybe, it's because i do not have my portable radio with me... shall run more tomorrow...
everything seems kind of sad today... oh, it's just a figure of speech... i'm actually quite perky... hee~!! shall check in tomorrow...
hmm... did nothing much the whole day... i was trying to figure out what i have annotated in my collections of john donne... gosh~! he's definitely not a simple guy... poets are creatures, i believe, sent to torture students with their stanzas, verse paragraphs, alliterations, similies, complex thoughts, metaphors, etc... there's more, i just don't feel like knowing what i don't know... i'm only up to 3 poems... i have to try harder tomorrow... i shall see... hee~!
my dear twin sis is currently in genting now, enjoying the cool air while i'm withering in the hot sun... hiaz... even though i did not proclaim my intentions of going or not, it's understood by all that i should stay at home and study my butt off~! actually, i didn't want to go, because i wanted to study, now, i rather not stay at home... it's so depressing, i'm starting to talk to myself... hiaz... nothing to say, i'm just sad...
went for a run this afternoon... i don't know why my legs feel especially heavy today... my run lasted for about 15 mins, it's kind of sad... maybe, it's because i do not have my portable radio with me... shall run more tomorrow...
everything seems kind of sad today... oh, it's just a figure of speech... i'm actually quite perky... hee~!! shall check in tomorrow...
Sunday, June 06, 2004
harry potter rocks~!
hmm... went for a 3 km run just now... i feel great~!! i must lose weight for my prom... hopefully, there's enough time to recover after my surgery to go for the prom... actually, there's not this sense of excitement towards the prom, maybe, i'm going for the sake... i can't say that too... maybe, just to see how's jc prom's like?? i dun really think so either... most probably... hiaz... don't know... just go, i guess... hee~!
chatting with one of my good fren now... geraldine dear... gosh, i miss her... hee~! we are lamenting about lives... hee~! as usual... haha...
my mum is so spiteful... she refuses to let us watch harry potter... just because she feels that we didn't help in the housework, we should not watch it... she thinks we have too good a life... i'm like "whatever, u can be childish and spiteful, that's ur problem~!" hiaz, so now, here i am... actually, i must be kind of grateful to my parents... i have cultivated this good habit of not watching the tv because they do not allow it... hiaz... i sound deprive... most prob, i am... it doesn't matter anyway, i'm not going to be like them...
did some maths today, gonna start stduying form next week froth...
Left Outside Alone Lyrics - Anastacia
All my life I’ve been waiting
For you to bring a fairy tale my way
Been living in a fantasy without meaning
It’s not okay I don’t feel safe
I don't feel safe..
Ohhh..
Left broken empty in despair
Wanna breath can’t find air
Thought you were sent from up above
But you and me never had love
So much more I have to say
Help me find a way
And I wonder if you know
How it really feels
To be left outside alone
When it’s cold out here
Well maybe you should know
Just how it feels
To be left outside alone
To be left outside alone
I tell ya..
All my life I’ve been waiting
For you to bring a fairytale my way
Been living in a fantasy without meaning
It’s not okay I don’t feel safe
I need to pray
Why do you play me like a game?
Always someone else to blame
Careless, helpless little man
Someday you might understand
There’s not much more to say
But I hope you find a way
Still I wonder if you know
How it really feels
To be left outside alone
When it’s cold out here
Well maybe you should know
Just how it feels
To be left outside alone
To be left outside alone
I tell ya..
All my life I’ve been waiting
For you to bring a fairytale my way
Been living in a fantasy without meaning
It’s not okay I don’t feel safe
I need to pray
Ohhh. Pray...
Ohh.. Heavenly father..
Save me.. Ohhhh..
Whoaooooaoooooo
And I wonder if you know
How it really feels
To be left outside alone
When it’s cold out here
Well maybe you should know
Just how it feels
To be left outside alone
To be left outside alone
All my life I’ve been waiting
For you to bring a fairytale my way
Been living in a fantasy without meaning
It’s not okay I don’t feel safe
I need to pray...
i feel like the above song... being left in the blue with no details whatsoever about ur stand... come tell me, then i can decide how to treat u in the apporiorate manner... if not, be my friend... i'm like that to everyone...
chatting with one of my good fren now... geraldine dear... gosh, i miss her... hee~! we are lamenting about lives... hee~! as usual... haha...
my mum is so spiteful... she refuses to let us watch harry potter... just because she feels that we didn't help in the housework, we should not watch it... she thinks we have too good a life... i'm like "whatever, u can be childish and spiteful, that's ur problem~!" hiaz, so now, here i am... actually, i must be kind of grateful to my parents... i have cultivated this good habit of not watching the tv because they do not allow it... hiaz... i sound deprive... most prob, i am... it doesn't matter anyway, i'm not going to be like them...
did some maths today, gonna start stduying form next week froth...
Left Outside Alone Lyrics - Anastacia
All my life I’ve been waiting
For you to bring a fairy tale my way
Been living in a fantasy without meaning
It’s not okay I don’t feel safe
I don't feel safe..
Ohhh..
Left broken empty in despair
Wanna breath can’t find air
Thought you were sent from up above
But you and me never had love
So much more I have to say
Help me find a way
And I wonder if you know
How it really feels
To be left outside alone
When it’s cold out here
Well maybe you should know
Just how it feels
To be left outside alone
To be left outside alone
I tell ya..
All my life I’ve been waiting
For you to bring a fairytale my way
Been living in a fantasy without meaning
It’s not okay I don’t feel safe
I need to pray
Why do you play me like a game?
Always someone else to blame
Careless, helpless little man
Someday you might understand
There’s not much more to say
But I hope you find a way
Still I wonder if you know
How it really feels
To be left outside alone
When it’s cold out here
Well maybe you should know
Just how it feels
To be left outside alone
To be left outside alone
I tell ya..
All my life I’ve been waiting
For you to bring a fairytale my way
Been living in a fantasy without meaning
It’s not okay I don’t feel safe
I need to pray
Ohhh. Pray...
Ohh.. Heavenly father..
Save me.. Ohhhh..
Whoaooooaoooooo
And I wonder if you know
How it really feels
To be left outside alone
When it’s cold out here
Well maybe you should know
Just how it feels
To be left outside alone
To be left outside alone
All my life I’ve been waiting
For you to bring a fairytale my way
Been living in a fantasy without meaning
It’s not okay I don’t feel safe
I need to pray...
i feel like the above song... being left in the blue with no details whatsoever about ur stand... come tell me, then i can decide how to treat u in the apporiorate manner... if not, be my friend... i'm like that to everyone...
Saturday, June 05, 2004
triple s project
yesterday was the official opening of the triple s project. joanne, bi quan, yoke hing and i were in charge of settling the befrienders and participants into their respective groups... everything went on quite smoothly, in the sense that everyone was very cooperative... the participants arrived a little late... however, soon, they were settling into their groups quite comfortably... in each group, the befrienders and participants were interacting by singing songs and playing games... upon seeing the joyful expressions on the participants' faces, i was filled with an immesurable amount of joy... it started of well and it will end of well~!! i guess what each exco is worrying is that the participants were not enjoying themselves and that the programmes will not flow smoothly together, luckily, i guess, we were prepared, nothing that we could not handle happen...
one thing that stands out is the realisation of mine that some people just possess that special touch to deal with the less fortunate... i look at them in wonder because of their kind patience and understanding towards the participants... and then, i start to look at myself, shook my head, told myself: u can't make it... hee! partly, i didn't take the initiative to interact with them, i guess, i may get to show my caring side... hee~! but, i must give a round of applause to those who cared enough~!!
went to the smu pool with them because no exco was free... wow, the sudden throw into this responsibility was real sudden and nervous for me... i'm not used to people listening as i have this warped theory that nobody wants to listen to me... oh, whatever, i'm just kind of lame... was in charge for about 15 mins before heading back to school with joanne... there, we were roped in to move the mats before heading for lunch in the canteen... by that time, my stomach was protesting in indignant at having been neglected for much too long... hee~!
went for literature lesson after lunch... wow, i must congragulate myself for listening to dear ms chua... actually understanding what she was talking about... i was so damn tired that i could not really focus on anything much... i tried to listen to ms chua by contributing my penny's worth... yeah~! hee~!
went to meet pei shan to give her the maths notes... walked all the way there... hee, she "sponsored" my bus ride back to nj as i have forgotten to bring my ez link card... the participants went for a night walk at mac ritchie... yoke hing and i took the opportunity to bathe first... i felt so clean after that... however, that was not to last... when the participants came back, i had to "run" to different places... one of them was to coax one of the participants to climb the stairs up to her sleeping place... she took such a long time....~! i guess, all of them need a certain amount of attention... they liked it... but it's kinda tiring... nevermind, i'm traing my patience... but, after seeing their happiness, it's all worth it~!
yoke hing and i did the night duty till 330am, actually, we did take a tiny nap in betwee... couldn't help it, was so damn tired... hee~! went to the grand stand to sleep after that... was so tired, that i took naps whenever i could... kind of like a pig! hee~! was so tired... anyway, we kept the naps after they went for the canoe activity, it's like starting through from the beginning till the end... hmm... not bad....
hmm... played bridge with detong and shawn, 2 new school mates i met from the camp... i must have striked gold or something... my hand was so good... won many sets~!! hee~!! actually, me and yoke were supposed to buy the vegetarian food, but we did not, instead, detong and his frens went... got into some frenzy... however, everything turned out fine... that's the main thing~!! yeah~!!
hmm, yoke and i went off early... i went orchard shopping~!! i was so freaking tired that i felt i was walking through orchard in a semi-consicious state... hiaz... bought a top anyway...~!! yeah~!! new clothes~!! ok, this is a super long entry... gonna go play games liao...
hmm... seems that yoke and i are glued together... hee~!! we love each other... the camp is over and more importantly, a success~!! yeah~!! going to sleep soon too... zzz...
one thing that stands out is the realisation of mine that some people just possess that special touch to deal with the less fortunate... i look at them in wonder because of their kind patience and understanding towards the participants... and then, i start to look at myself, shook my head, told myself: u can't make it... hee! partly, i didn't take the initiative to interact with them, i guess, i may get to show my caring side... hee~! but, i must give a round of applause to those who cared enough~!!
went to the smu pool with them because no exco was free... wow, the sudden throw into this responsibility was real sudden and nervous for me... i'm not used to people listening as i have this warped theory that nobody wants to listen to me... oh, whatever, i'm just kind of lame... was in charge for about 15 mins before heading back to school with joanne... there, we were roped in to move the mats before heading for lunch in the canteen... by that time, my stomach was protesting in indignant at having been neglected for much too long... hee~!
went for literature lesson after lunch... wow, i must congragulate myself for listening to dear ms chua... actually understanding what she was talking about... i was so damn tired that i could not really focus on anything much... i tried to listen to ms chua by contributing my penny's worth... yeah~! hee~!
went to meet pei shan to give her the maths notes... walked all the way there... hee, she "sponsored" my bus ride back to nj as i have forgotten to bring my ez link card... the participants went for a night walk at mac ritchie... yoke hing and i took the opportunity to bathe first... i felt so clean after that... however, that was not to last... when the participants came back, i had to "run" to different places... one of them was to coax one of the participants to climb the stairs up to her sleeping place... she took such a long time....~! i guess, all of them need a certain amount of attention... they liked it... but it's kinda tiring... nevermind, i'm traing my patience... but, after seeing their happiness, it's all worth it~!
yoke hing and i did the night duty till 330am, actually, we did take a tiny nap in betwee... couldn't help it, was so damn tired... hee~! went to the grand stand to sleep after that... was so tired, that i took naps whenever i could... kind of like a pig! hee~! was so tired... anyway, we kept the naps after they went for the canoe activity, it's like starting through from the beginning till the end... hmm... not bad....
hmm... played bridge with detong and shawn, 2 new school mates i met from the camp... i must have striked gold or something... my hand was so good... won many sets~!! hee~!! actually, me and yoke were supposed to buy the vegetarian food, but we did not, instead, detong and his frens went... got into some frenzy... however, everything turned out fine... that's the main thing~!! yeah~!!
hmm, yoke and i went off early... i went orchard shopping~!! i was so freaking tired that i felt i was walking through orchard in a semi-consicious state... hiaz... bought a top anyway...~!! yeah~!! new clothes~!! ok, this is a super long entry... gonna go play games liao...
hmm... seems that yoke and i are glued together... hee~!! we love each other... the camp is over and more importantly, a success~!! yeah~!! going to sleep soon too... zzz...
Wednesday, June 02, 2004
just another day... happy vesak day~!
got one comment regarding the new look... too pink... haha... i still have not discovered the method to change my background, etc... just took this template from the ones provided... i'll promise to try harder... haha...
just had triple s meeting yesterday... mr menon was quite fierce, reprimanding us because he felt worried... i don't blame him from bursting out, because i was feeling pretty worried myself... luckily, everything was set straight yesterday, i feel that the whole project is jelling together... i guess, nobody wants to see it fail just like that, can totally emphatise with mr menon...
didn't do much since yesterday, just completed integration... i hope i will remember what i'm doing... played the piano for about half an hour... thoughts were flying through my head, just thinking who should i approach to further my music studies... really missed playing the piano... without any worries... hiaz... can't wait for the as to be over~!! my sis is watching christina aguilera, wanna watch, with my mum outside, i guess i have to study~!! hiaz~!!
there's remedial tomorrow... so boring, i have to listen though... missed alot of econs tuition already... hiaz... i hate it when i have a lot of things to settle... there's meeting at 5 tomorrow too... hiaz...
gonna go suntec on saturday to watch singapore idol in action... accompanying my fren... he didn't specify whether he's observing or participating... shall see... i'm only doing a favour~!! hee~! should be quite interesting... haha~!! guess i have to study now...
yesterday - the beatles
Yesterday
All my troubles seemed so far away
Now it looks as though they're here to stay
Oh, I believe
In yesterday
Suddenly
I'm not half the man I used to be
There's a shadow hanging over me
Oh, yesterday
Came suddenly
Why she
Had to go I don't know
She wouldn't say
I said
Something wrong now I long
For yesterday
Yesterday
Love was such an easy game to play
Now I need a place to hide away
Oh, I believe
In yesterday
Why she
Had to go I don't know
She wouldn't say
I said
Something wrong now I long
For yesterday
Yesterday
Love was such an easy game to play
Now I need a place to hide away
Oh, I believe
In yesterday
just can't get this song out of my head~!!
just had triple s meeting yesterday... mr menon was quite fierce, reprimanding us because he felt worried... i don't blame him from bursting out, because i was feeling pretty worried myself... luckily, everything was set straight yesterday, i feel that the whole project is jelling together... i guess, nobody wants to see it fail just like that, can totally emphatise with mr menon...
didn't do much since yesterday, just completed integration... i hope i will remember what i'm doing... played the piano for about half an hour... thoughts were flying through my head, just thinking who should i approach to further my music studies... really missed playing the piano... without any worries... hiaz... can't wait for the as to be over~!! my sis is watching christina aguilera, wanna watch, with my mum outside, i guess i have to study~!! hiaz~!!
there's remedial tomorrow... so boring, i have to listen though... missed alot of econs tuition already... hiaz... i hate it when i have a lot of things to settle... there's meeting at 5 tomorrow too... hiaz...
gonna go suntec on saturday to watch singapore idol in action... accompanying my fren... he didn't specify whether he's observing or participating... shall see... i'm only doing a favour~!! hee~! should be quite interesting... haha~!! guess i have to study now...
yesterday - the beatles
Yesterday
All my troubles seemed so far away
Now it looks as though they're here to stay
Oh, I believe
In yesterday
Suddenly
I'm not half the man I used to be
There's a shadow hanging over me
Oh, yesterday
Came suddenly
Why she
Had to go I don't know
She wouldn't say
I said
Something wrong now I long
For yesterday
Yesterday
Love was such an easy game to play
Now I need a place to hide away
Oh, I believe
In yesterday
Why she
Had to go I don't know
She wouldn't say
I said
Something wrong now I long
For yesterday
Yesterday
Love was such an easy game to play
Now I need a place to hide away
Oh, I believe
In yesterday
just can't get this song out of my head~!!
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